Sol starts spinning the turntable and everybody starts busting a move. The song is: Funky Comadina. Then a shiny disco ball sescends and throws little flashes of light everywhere.

"Cool!"

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Tuesday, August 21, 2007 - 03:53 pm:

Spiffy Ninja hits the scene next, and starts doing The Robot. He is so double-jointed it isn't funny. But all heck really breaks loose when his new little chimp pal, the Trunk Monkey, starts busting a monkey-move, showing up Spiffy and taking the cake as well!

By Houdini (Houdini) on Wednesday, August 29, 2007 - 04:35 pm:

Houdini starts doing some old school breakdancing. The trunk monkey laughs with delight as he tosses an old banana peel under Houdini's unsuspecting feet.

Houdini slips and falls on his arse.

Bad monkey!


Meanwhile spiffy is putting on his best moves for the ladies.

By Houdini (Houdini) on Wednesday, August 29, 2007 - 04:38 pm:

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Thursday, August 30, 2007 - 11:24 am:

Then the monkey goes nuts and starts bouncing on Houdini. When the Master of Magic begins to get too cranky, the Trunk Monkey gives him a big slobbery kiss and offers to buy him a bananna smoothie with a cocoanut in it.

"Aaa Waa Nubaa tooraa ha ha!" says Spiffy. He starts peeling off his Ninja Spandex shirt to reveal rows of bulging muscles as the ladies go crazy.

Has Spiffy Ninja been working out?

By Houdini (Houdini) on Friday, August 31, 2007 - 02:20 pm:

"eww.. yuck.. monkey germs! I've been slimed! Gross! " Houdini pulls himself up and sits at the bar.

"Hey, look monkey can we have a truce here?" Houdini said with a smile. Houdini shakes the monkeys hand.

The monkey gives Sol a knowing glance and Sol nods in afirmation. In a few minutes Sol whips up two yummy banana smoothies with chopped bananas on top!

"Here you go boyos!" Sol says happily.

Houdini starts to eat the smoothie and says "ok.. this is pretty good."

The trunk monkey hands Sol a 10 dollar bill from the kingdom of Simeion. Jungle kingdom of the monkeys.


Spiffy Ninja literally makes the ladies go crazy.

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Thursday, September 06, 2007 - 12:34 pm:

Sol smiles and shakes his head as the Monkey tries to pay. "Oh no no no," he says, "Everything in the Town Pub is free! Have some smoothies on me!"

Soon Houdini and the Monkey are slurping smoothies like best pals.

Adorable.

By Liz Reay (Liz) on Monday, November 26, 2007 - 06:48 pm:

The door opens. A short woman...VERY short... steps in. Her hair is just past shoulder length, layered, and brown. A denim newsboy cap, well worn, is pulled over her ears. Her face is a little trail-weary, her blue-green eyes, a little crinkled at the corners, look tired behind wire-rimmed glasses. Her figure is heavily curvy, a little plump, and ensconced in denim overalls over a white button-down shirt. A leather pack is slung over her back. Her work boots clomp against the floorboards as she takes a few steps in.

Her eyes brighten as she surveys the room. Something familiar glints there. Then the smile, small at first but spreading quickly with wonder and delight.

"Holy ••••, it's still here." She laughs heartily.

She hangs up her pack, then her hat. Delicately pointed ears poke out from her hair. The weariness falls away as she spies the crew at the bar.

"Oh. My. God." The years fall away as she suddenly sprints towards the bar and vaults it, carrying Houdini over and tackling Sol into Spiffy, all the while emitting a squeal so high only the monkey can hear it.

Without a doubt, it's Liz.

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Tuesday, November 27, 2007 - 02:19 am:

From his eternal perch at the corner stool, Greyfox watches the goings on intently, allowing a smile to creep across his otherwise stoic features as he raises his pint-mug filled with crystalline-green nectar in a salute to the newcomer.

"Welcome back, Stranger," he says with a wink, waiting for Liz to finish her mauling of Sol & Houdini...

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Tuesday, November 27, 2007 - 09:43 am:

"Hey, Liz!" grins Sol - "Is that you? My gosh, I think it is! Wow, nice to see you!" He returns the gesture with a heartfelt hug - "It has been a long time! Yes, the Pub is still here - it is transdimensional after all, and they say that what may come, the Pub will always re-emerge somewhere in Cyberspace."

Spiffy Ninja's eyes start to twirl around in his brain as he scrambles to emerge from beneath Sol and Liz. "BWAAGGHHAAAAHHH." The monkey starts to shake and siezure as Liz's squeal penetrates his brain. Yes, this is no ordinary monkey, for little Sebastion is what you call a Sleeper - trained to activate once a certain preprogrammed signal is received. Whatever that signal was supposed to be, it seems that Liz's high-pitched squeal has done the trick.

Spiffy notices suddenly what the monkey is up to and starts spazzing out. But pinned beneath two old friends, what will the Ninja be able to do?

By Houdini (Houdini) on Tuesday, November 27, 2007 - 10:17 am:

The old magician smiles as he notices his old friend enter the pub from the ethers of cyberspace.

Houdini was about to say "Hey Liz come join the party over here!", when he is picked by Liz who has obviously gotten a whole lot stronger.

Houdini was taking his mauling like a man but also noticed that the trunk monkey was going nutso again.

"Liz, not to trouble you while your giving me my friendly mauling which Ow! I'm taking like a man here, (oompf).. but could you throw that monkey a banana or something. heheeee.. come on now..PLAY teehehee... FAIR!.. no tickling! "

By Reformed Kender (Liz) on Tuesday, November 27, 2007 - 03:12 pm:

Liz desists her tackling and re-vaults over the bar to hug Greyfox. "Hi!"

The monkey follows her, screeching and dancing a strange little dance. Without warning, it launches itself atop Liz's head, jumping around and pummelling her mercilessly.

"AAAAAUGHHHHH!!!!!"

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 10:12 am:

Sol grabs his fluffy afro and grits his teeth as Liz spins around and around with a monkey on her head. "EGGGHHH," he emotes - can no one save her from this crazy little monkey gone bananas? In the confusion, someone spills an entire bowl of Chex Mix - the kind with M&M's and Pretzels in it. In no time at all, the crunchy-candy treat has been ground into the shag carpeting as bystanders swarm off the street to watch.

By Reformed Kender (Liz) on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 03:07 pm:

Flailing all the way, Liz makes her way over to her pack. She fumbles around with one hand while swatting the monkey with the other, and draws out a 5-lb sledgehammer. With grim resolve, she swings it at the monkey.

With cartoon timing, the monkey screeches and dives away. Fortunately, Liz has had to pull this gambit before and ducks her own blow, sending the sledge over her shoulder. "Incoming!" she yells.

By Warsmith (Knight_Hawk) on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 04:06 pm:

"Huh?" Knight Hawk says right before the sledge hammer hits him right between the eyes. "check please." He says before falling backward.

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Saturday, December 01, 2007 - 05:02 pm:

*KA-BLAM!* I single gunshot pierces the commotion and time stands still for a brief moment as the entire room registers what just happened. The spazzing monkey has a bewildered look on its cute little deranged face and a bloody hole in its teeny chest, smoke still wafting from the recent fatal wound. It chirps meekly and looks down, not believing that a large-caliber bullet has just travelled through its miniscule frame at high velocity. Once the physics of the situation take over, the monkey collapses to the floor, quite dead.

Everyone then shifts their gaze across the bar to the tall figure in the suede drover coat, left arm extended, holding a smoking .44 desert eagle. Greyfox nonchalantly returns the weapon to its concealed holster and sits on his stool, taking another swig from his mug. As the bar-room returns to 'normal' Sol comes over and asks his old friend, "How could you kill that cute little monkey? He wasn't hurting anybody!"

Greyfox puts his mug down and shrugs. "I was aiming for the ninja. I'm not left-handed, remember?"

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Monday, December 03, 2007 - 11:17 am:

Spiffy Ninja becomes very VERY quiet and goes to hide himself in the pickle barrel.

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Wednesday, December 05, 2007 - 11:47 am:

As the body of the crumpled chimp disintegrates in a puff of smoke and flowers, everyone has a moment of silence for the bad, bad Trunk Monkey who certainly hadn't followed the LEV way and was punished. But in LEV, sometimes there is always a way to come back from your wrongdoings, even after you've been shot by a large calibur bullet.

An angel - a monkey angel - appears, and then says to the crowd, "I was not a good chimp in life, but now as I look back upon my existance, I can see that I have wronged many people. I was a simple chimp with simple needs - sometimes, I got a little haywire, and for that, I am sorry." He scratches his little chimp head. "Greyfox, thank you for showing me the error of my ways. Now that I am an angel monkey, I will do only good, and I will strive to make up for the error of my ways when I was in mortal form. Huzzah," he says, and gives Liz a flower. And Greyfox a shiny spanish dablooon.

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Friday, December 07, 2007 - 03:44 am:

*KA-BLAM!* Another gunshot rings out in the bar, only the bullet passes right through the incorporeal undead winged monkey, who only smiles and extends a little monkey hand in friendship to Greyfox.

"WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!" Greyfox screams as he drops his weapon and runs out of the pub, screaming...

By Warsmith (Knight_Hawk) on Friday, December 07, 2007 - 08:41 am:

"Look an Undead Monkey." Knight Hawk says before passing out again.

By Houdini (Houdini) on Tuesday, December 11, 2007 - 12:41 pm:

"Undead monkey? When did this silly place turn into the poster child for Pirates of the Carribian? What is Jack Sparrow and Barbosa going to enter stage right?" Houdini said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.


Just then a portal opened up in the middle of the room. A deck of pirate ship sailing on a sunny day could clearly be seen. Out of the portal stepped a strange looking man with dreadlocked hair.

"Umm.. that's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. Wheres this monkey you mates are talkin about?"

"That monkey." Greyfox points.

"Right, then." Sparrow pulls out his pistol and fires at the monkey. It dies, and comes right back to life.

"Ah, so thats where the little bugger has been hiding. Think you could get away from us that easy Jack?" shouted another man as he steped through the portal.

"Barbosa! I was just going to look for the monkey." Sparrow said unconvincingly.

"Thats CAPTAIN Barbosa. Jack. Not that you would remember having your brains scrambled up by that Davey Jones fellow but we named the monkey Jack, I was talking to him!" Barbosa said moody.

"Umm.. excuse me gentlemen." Sol said calmly, but this guy here is a trunk monkey. I've had him for a few years.

"Did you buy him from a gypsy named Spen by any chance?" Sparrow asked.

"No".

"Well, I'm out of ideas."

"Wait Jack. I have some questions for the lad."

"Where did ye buy him?"

"I didn't buy him, I found him in the trunk of my Geo metro one day."

"You 21st century americans with your fancy cars, listen boy. That monkey is from my time. He escaped to your century via the monkey portal."

"What?" Sol asked.

"Yes, and I can can prove it see. He should have a birthmark in the shape of Al Yankovic'a 80's hairdoo on his right buttocks." Barbosa said convincingly.

Sol nodded to the monkey who droped his little pants.

"There be the mark! Now Mr. Solenoid, we'd be taking our monkey back if you don't mind."

"We don't need him anymore barbosa or at least lets work out something for the lad.. " Jack says diplomatically as he can.

"I'll handle this" Jack whispers with a wink to sol.

"Barbosa lets say said monkey is the monkey you have been looking for."

"yes"

"then what would be the price for said monkey? After all then Sol has taken care of said monkey and is entitled to compensation for his trouble." Jack said with confidence and a light drunk slur.


"Compensation!!! Compensation! He's lucky and right now your lucky I don't run you through with mi blade Jack!"

"Relax. This is a bar right? Lets talk about it over a drink or two. Bartender bring me a bottle of rum and whatever these fellows want. Oh and you too mr. ninja. Whats that stuff you guys like.... tip of my tongue it is.." Sparrow mused.

"Sake" spiffy said.

"yes! Lets have a drink then.. bartender make it a double. Join us Barbosa. You too Greyfox and Houdini!"

"How do you know us?" Houdini asks. " "Have you been spying on us."

"Oh don't be such a drama queen." Jack said with a grin. "Nothing that sophisticated.. but we have our ways."

The monkey tries to cross the portal to escape but encounters a force field that kills him but then he wakes up again. Undead monkeys are so fun to watch.

(authors note: I was bored ok?)

By Warsmith (Knight_Hawk) on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - 09:02 am:

Still unconciouse Knight Hawk begins to sing.

"What do you do with a drunken sailor?"

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - 11:35 am:

"Well, I didn't know he was an undead monkey when I forked over the cash. That does explain a few things, though, like the time he walked through walls and the time he started channeling Magilla Gorilla..."

Sol gladly bops around the bar handing out drinks. "Are you -really- the dread captain, Jack Sparrow? Can I have your autograph?"

The monkey starts doing more crazy monkey stuff when Greyfox's gun goes off once again and *BLOWS* the monkey away yet again.

Spiffy, who has been in hiding, sneaks out of the pickle barrel at the mention of sake. Now the ninja smells of pickles and sake.

By System Admin (Admin) on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - 12:02 pm:

"I swear on mi mums shrunkin head Sol! I AM THE CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!" Jack says as he stands up to bow taking his hat off for effect.

"If ye ego were any bigger Jack, we'd need a bigger cell.. er.. guest quarters to keep ye in. Eh Jack? hahaha!" Barbosa said with a tooth gapped smile.


"The great captain jack sparrow, your prisioner? Unlikely. He could would never let himself be captured by the likes of you!" Houdini said defiantly.

"Not helping.." Jack said under his breath.

"Yes, it be true, and here be my negotiation boy. Unless Sol signs this hear paper releasing the monkey into my possession. All of ye will be run through by my crew.... UH.. BY MY CREW!" He shouts.

Just then a horde of pirates stormed the pub through the portal.

"EASY BOYS. Lets not trash the place unless Sol and his cocky friend Houdini here refuse to play nice." Barbosa said grinning.

"Now this has gotten out of hand. I think we can come to some arrangement right?" Jack said winking to Sol.

"Jack, neither ye or Sol are in any position to bargin."

"Parley!" Sol shouts.

"Hey boss, he asked for Parley. Now we gots to listen! We must keep to the code!" The one eyed pirate offered.

"I know that you idiot! Bloody code!" Barbosa
said as he smacked the one eyed pirate in the back of the head because he was angry.

"Mi eye mi eye" said the pirate as his wooden eye rolled on to the floor.

The money picked it up.

"You bloody pirate monkey! Give it back!"

Greyfox said "why do we care about the monkey?"

"Indeed, why should ye care" barbosa said.

"Because that monkey is the key to solving the mystery to finding the lost city of gold!" Houdini answered.

Barbosa's silence answered everything.

"Yes, I know what you are up to, but that treasure is not for any man woman or child to ever posses. It is beyond the reach of the living." Houdini stated.

"How did you know that?" Barbosa asked.

"Same way you learned about us and the monkey." Google!

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Tuesday, January 15, 2008 - 10:31 am:

The monkey sat around and stank, playing with the pirate's eye. Hmm, indeed this was one funky monkey, for he was not only the Ghost of Trunk Monkey, he was also the key to finding the fabulous city of Gold!

By Sol Hawk (Sol) on Tuesday, January 15, 2008 - 04:39 pm:

"Well," said the monkey, glaring at the members of the Pub, "I do happen to know the way to the treasure. But only I can open the vault because it only responds to MonkeySpeak, so don't get any crazy ideas about bumping me off. You can't anyway because I am an undead monkey and that means I am basically unkillable. CHEE CHEE CHEE!" he says.

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 - 02:01 am:

Greyfox moans as the scene unfolds before him.

"Well, this has gone from bad to worse, and then it took a sharp left turn into SILLY!" He then produces two UMP-45 submachine guns from the depths of his black suede drover coat and levels them towards Barbosa's marauding crew.

"Hey Barbosa! Ever heard of a machine gun before? Have your men drop their weapons or by the GODS I'll put so much lead through them you'll be able to use them as PENCILS!"

By Sol-El of the House of El (Sol) on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 - 09:55 am:

Sol's mouth drops open and the monkey starts gibbering and laughing. "That's right, Barbarosa, you'd better behave now or else you're gonna have more holes in ya than a hunk of Swiss Cheese."

On that note, the monkey let one go.

By Houdini (Houdini) on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 - 11:02 am:

Barbosa stared Greyfox in the eye for a moment and saw that he was serious. "Arr.. ye makes a good point. Maybe we can work out..an some kind of... arrangement. Do as the man says boys!"

The pirate crew dropped their weapons.

"Raise those hands up!" Greyfox ordered. Everyone obeyed, even the monkey.

Greyfox didn't flinch as the lethal twin submachine guns remained pointed squarely at Barbaosa's melon shaped head.

"I think we find ourselves in a bit of sticky predicament here." Jack spoke , keeping his hands up.

"You town pub lads have one said disgusting undead monkey on your hands, and these lot have the clues that tell you how to avoid the traps set by those who approach the city of gold. They can't get into the city without the monkey and you can't survive the apprach to the city without the clues.

Surely now we can work out some kind of arrangement?" Jack said eying the rum bottle on the next table over.

GreyFox responded first as he kept the guns firmly positioned on Barbosa.

"First of all. You assume I care about this city of gold when in fact all I really care about is having your 'friends' leave before somebody (them) gets hurt. Second. What's in it for you Jack?"

"Well, you see I can find the city." Jack slowly...to show he wasn't armed... pulled out his 'special' compass and noticed the needle pointed directly at the bottle of rum he had been eying.

"Just as soon as I have a drink." With that Jack took a large swig of rum. "Ahh...good stuff mate."

The compass needle then pointed in another direction

"Jack yer such a frickin lush." Houdini said smiling.

"What do you expect mate, I'm a pirate." Jack laughed then stopped abruptly when he noticed that Houdini pointed his pistol at him as well.

Houdini was smiling like a chessire cat. "Sorry your laugh is well, annoying." He lowered his pistol.

"Well aren't you a party poooper, mister big shot magician. eh? Your not going to get a date with a lady with that attitude."

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Sunday, June 01, 2008 - 12:30 am:

"So, let me get this straight," said Greyfox, his grip on the submachine-guns relaxing slightly, "Barbosa wants the monkey because it's the key to the city of gold, but only his lot of formerly cursed pirates can figure out the clues to surviving the approach to said city... And Jack has the compass that will take the whole group TO the lost city..." Jack's gold-toothed smile indicated Greyfox was correct. Greyfox looked at his gathered friends, then to the pirate crew, then Barbosa, Jack & the monkey, all in turn. Sol & Houdini saw the glint in Greyfox's eyes as he allowed a half-smile to creep over his features. As he began to shrug, they both knew what he was about to do...

"Well hells, Barbosa. I have more faith in my friends on figuring out these clues than your rag-tag group of once-undead pirates." There was a maelstrom of noise and light as Greyfox emptied the magazines of his guns into the pirate crew, slaughtering them to the last man, leaving only Barbosa & Jack alive. Before the empty shell casings had stopped hitting the floor with little metallic clinks, Greyfox allowed his smile to explode fully across his face. "Looks like we're going treasure-hunting, boys."

"FOOL!" Barbosa spat, looking around in surprised anger at his now dead crew. "I've no DOUBT yer friends here be smarter than the dolts lyin dead at me feet right now, but does a single ONE of ye know the first thing about crewin a sailing ship?!?!" Jack looked at Greyfox with wide eyes, and then squinted with a toothy smile.

"THAT," he said, pointing dramatically as only Jack can, "was a rather HASTY thing to have done, Lad." He then took another long pull from the rum bottle.

"Not at all," Greyfox said, calmly reloading & putting away his guns in the recesses of his black suede drover coat. "Who says we need a sailing ship to get to this lost city? This is the 21st century, after all." Barbosa laughed out loud at Greyfox.

"Yer absolutely right, whelp, but ye be fergettin just one thing." Barbosa stepped closer to Greyfox for dramatic effect before continuing. "The island what holds the city of gold exists in MY time, not yours, boy. As such, the only way to be gettin there from here is to travel by MY means." Greyfox's smile rapidly faded.

"Which means we'll be needing a new crew," Jack slurred.

"W-w-we're still here, Sir," said the one-eyed pirate, standing up from behind the bar after finally finding & replacing his wooden eye, his bald buddy peeking out from a few feet away in disgust & fear.

Greyfox looked around at the remaining group. Jack, Barbosa, the 2 pirates, Sol, Houdini, Spiffy, & the monkey all looked at him expectantly. "Well, I've seen the movies. This is all the crew we need to run the Pearl, right Jack--err, CAPTAIN Jack?"

All eyes now turned to Captain Jack Sparrow...

By Sol-El of the House of El (Sol) on Monday, June 02, 2008 - 10:16 am:

"Aye, aye," said Jack thoughtfully, looking at the now-dead pirate crew, "I didn'ae like them anyway. But what Barbarosa said is true," he admitted, "We be needin' a pirate crew to sail on a pirate ship."

"No problem," says Sol, stepping forward with a thoughtful look, "I am a master player of the game called Pirates of the Spanish Maine - and as it turns out, playing the game is exactly like sailing the real thing. Good thing I have my collection of ships right here." He lifts the lid on a carefully-cared for cardboard box and reveals inside a number of small, plastic ships from Spain, Britain, even the Viking North. "Nothing to do but choose one. Hmm, what do you think my friends? Which looks the roomiest?"

"Har har har," laughs Barbarosa, "Ye must be kidding may. Ye can't sail upon a box of toy ships."

"Not so," says Sol, "because my box of models is like everything else in the Pub. Multidimensional. Not only will any of these grow to full size on command, but we'll have plenty of room for Mountain Dew as well."

By Warsmith (Knight_Hawk) on Monday, June 02, 2008 - 01:30 pm:

"Arr, ye not be thinking of abandoning the Pearl Jack?" Knight Hawk asked as he stood. "Tis your ship. And any self respecting Captain would ne'er think of takin' any but his own vessel. Unless o'course his own vessel be unavailible."

"He's right ya know." Jack said. "I just so happen to have a boat...er, ship of me own."

"Now Jack, just whose ship is the Pearl now?" Barbosa countered.

Knight Hawk turned away from this exchanged and wandered over to the bar. He found a bottle of Yeungling and began to drink the beer whilke eyeing the monkey.

By The One Known Only as (Greyfox) on Monday, June 02, 2008 - 09:39 pm:

Greyfox rubbed his hands together rigorously and built up a good static charge, and with a tiny spark and an audible ZAP! touched the monkey above his little monkey butt. The monkey jumped with a start and started rubbing his little monkey butt as Greyfox chuckled.

"HAHAHAHAAAA! Shock the monkey!" Greyfox exclaimed, thoroughly pleased with himself...

(lack of sleep does wondrous things to your psyche)

By Warsmith (Knight_Hawk) on Tuesday, June 03, 2008 - 08:38 am:

Knight Hawk groaned audibly as he rolled his eyes. "Peter Gabriel reference aside do you honestly think you can trust two shifty lookin' thugs like them?"

By Sol-El of the House of El (Sol) on Tuesday, June 03, 2008 - 01:52 pm:

"You said 'Monkey,'" said Sol. The Undead Trunk Monkey got very agitated. Although he was completely immune to being killed, he wasn't immune to being shocked.

"Hey, no problem, Jack," says Sol, "Lookit here, I happen to have what you want right here." Sol dug into his "Pirates" box and produced the crown-jewel of his collection: The Black Pearl.

Barbarosa started to drool. Then he lunged at it in an attempt to smash it out of Sol's hand. But a powerful buildup of static electricity (which had been unwittingly collected by Sol's afro during a shuffling walk he had taken through the Valley of the Shag Carpet) zapped Barbarosa back and into a table where Pub Patrons were building a roman coloseum out of playing cards. "Hm," mused Sol, "I guess you're not immune to getting shocked, either." Unfortunately, the patrons at the card table were Bikers from the Harley Motercycle fan club and they were NOT happy with Barbarosa.