<<< LEVVAX::ACC_USER:[NOTES$LIBRARY]LEV_SOCIETY.NOTE;1 >>>
-< Unity, Coming Together, Lightening Up, and ... FUN! >-
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Note 3.0 The Towne Pub 554 replies
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 21 lines 26-APR-1993 22:25
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Open!
Open!
DRINKS!
POOL!
FUN!
It's ...
THE TOWNE PUB!
So come on in, folks... I'm Solenoid, your Bartender!
You know how it works... grab a seat, have some fun, and
role-play to yer heart's content.
Oh, and if ya need anyhing else, Just give a Yell!
Spiffy Ninja (the hired help) will take care o' ya!
So whatareyawaitin' for? I haven't seen you folks in
AGES!
Solenoid
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Note 3.1 The Towne Pub 1 of 554
LEVVAX::JBG2941 "But you will marry me, won't you?" 7 lines 9-AUG-1993 11:14
-< *snicker snicker* >-
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unbeknownst to the stranger who walks in to get a drink 'cuz it's beastly
hot outside, that by observing this, she realizes that "this is crazy,
I think I'll take my business elsewhere's." ANd walks across to the
pub's rival "Ye Old Saloon", who's motto is "If you don't like what's
happening over at "The Town Pub", we'll take you in."
:) Jenn
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Note 3.2 The Towne Pub 2 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Un homme's amusement est un autre h" 5 lines 9-AUG-1993 11:29
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Too late she realized that Ye Old Saloon was full of cannibals that
tricked into coming over so that they could have a rump roast special.
:)
Tas
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Note 3.3 The Towne Pub 3 of 554
LEVVAX::JXM6259 "I feel numb." 18 lines 10-AUG-1993 04:09
-< Let's pretend that we're dead >-
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No one seems to notice as a new figure strolls into the pub. He is
short, but by no means small. I believe the phrase used is "built like
a tank." But no one notices this. In fact, no one seems to notice as
he sidles up to the bar and asks for a glass of water. As he slaps the
dust from himself, it's obvious he hasn't tasted anything other than
his own saliva (which dried up on its own some time ago) for a great
amount of time. He opens his dried, sunburnt mouth to ask again, and
his leathery throat cracks open inside and he loses that skill which we
take for granted...speech. Eyes widening, he drops to the floor in
horror. But no one seems to notice. Making one last feeble attempt to
climb back up, he slips in a pool of water left from a far-distant
water balloon fight and hits his head on the bar. As he drifts into
his deadly sleep, he realizes that he is dying...and no one seems to
notice.
fnord
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Note 3.4 The Towne Pub 4 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 8 lines 10-AUG-1993 10:58
-< nurse liz to the rescue >-
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Liz trips over the newcomer as she spins pirouettes around the bar.
"oops! I'm sorry... hey, are you dead? I think this guy needs some
water!" With that, she empties a water skin into the man's mouth,
hoping it will help.
Liz
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Note 3.5 The Towne Pub 5 of 554
LEVVAX::RGV9488 "There's a light in the darkness...." 6 lines 10-AUG-1993 20:28
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Darkness steps over and looks down at the fallen mortal...
"My my, isn't that quaint..."
-Mr. Eternal
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Note 3.6 The Towne Pub 6 of 554
LEVVAX::JBG2941 "Everbody lies about SEX!" 5 lines 25-AUG-1993 15:46
-< HI! History anyone? >-
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The sun comes out and the God of the Sun, Apollo, shouts down upon the
people within the pub saying, "This is stupid people, Get a life will
ya!?"
:) J
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Note 3.7 The Towne Pub 7 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 42 lines 25-AUG-1993 15:57
-< hoboy >-
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The door breezes open, and in walks a shell of a man... beer
in hand, belching, 2 months of stubble. He remains barely
recognizable due to his Guano-Proof Polyester.
"Spiffy!" shouts Little Banjo from atop a Mead-Barrel, "What the
hell's happened to you?"
Spiffy cries in his beer, and takes another chug. He wobbles up
to Little Banjo and takes a hearty blow-of-snot into the halfling's
sweater.
"Hey... HEY! What the &*%#??? Get offa me!"
Spiffy flops onto a barstool... missing, he gets up off the floor
and tries again. He pulls out an old photograph of Sonja sunbathing
on a VAXLANDIA lawnchair. He admires the angle for a moment, then
blows his ninja-nose again, this time into the photograph.
"So THAT'S it," laughs Little Banjo, "You're still bawlin' yer
eyes out over THAT broad, eh? I heard she dumped ya."
Spiffy just starts bawling again.
"There, there," says Little Banjo, patting him on the back, "Who
needs her anyway? It's her own %&*#ing fault. She'll never know just
how much she's missin' out on."
Spiffy looks up at Little Banjo, putting his dripping photo away.
"I ain't seen that dame around LEV_SOCIETY for the longest time,
Spiffy. She's got NOTHING without you. She's probably gropin'
around the Singles Bars right now. Why, she'll be crawlin' back to
you on her han's and knees in no time."
Spiffy brightened a little.
"That's right. Dumpin' the Spiffmeister was the biggest mistake
she ever made."
Spiffy and Little Banjo laughed some more... a few Bwah-hah-ha's
later, Spiffy had cheated his way to 6 Blackjacks in a row, and was
feeling pretty good about himself for a change. Even thought about
shaving. Until the door swung open, that is...
It was his dream-girl, Sonja, tall and lovely as ever. But she
didn't even notice Spiffy Ninja. She was too busy fondling her new
boyfriend's biceps.
Spiffy Ninja!
Little Banjo!
and...
AND...???
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Note 3.8 The Towne Pub 8 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 6 lines 30-AUG-1993 13:54
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Liz takes one last drink at the bar, throws a pouch of coins to Little
Banjo, and bolts out the door, leaving several befuddled faces behind
and almost knocking over Sonja's new stallion.
Liz
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Note 3.9 The Towne Pub 9 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 9 lines 1-SEP-1993 17:23
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Ewokie, remember how Little Banjo used her, enters the bar and looks
around for him. Wearing a skin tight mini dress and having lost
weight, she looks good. She looks at the floor and notices that there
are a lot of change on it. She proceeds to follow the money trail,
wondering what they are doing there in the first place.
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Note 3.10 The Towne Pub 10 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 17 lines 2-SEP-1993 10:34
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Little Banjo, seeing Ewokie step into the bar (and crawling towards
him on her hands and knees) says, "Hiya, toots. Just couldn't keep
away from the good stuff, huh?"
Some people try to point out to Little Banjo that she is in fact
following a trail of coins, and not crawling back to him, but Little
Banjo's ego is way too big for that. He jumps off the barstool and
joins her on the floor.
"Comfortable? How about a song on my banjo?"
Oh!
Ewokie, if you're crawlin' back
The Banjo-Man will cut some slack
I'm quite a man and that's a fact
'Cuz I am Little Ban-jo!
Little Banjo!
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Note 3.11 The Towne Pub 11 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 41 lines 2-SEP-1993 10:53
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As Liz runs out the door, Spiffy sits up stammering jibberish
as Sonja comes into the bar. Her boyfriend steps out of the
shadows ... it is Lu Kang!
"aaaaaagowaaaa!" shouts Spiffy. Spiffy Ninja goes flying around
the bar, freaking out all over the place as Little Banjo ignores him
and tries to look manly for his lovely lady-friend. Spiffy knocks over
drinks, barstools, tables, people... everything, shouting, "owa owa
owa" as he goes.
"Oh god," whispers Sonja to Lu Kang under her breath, "It's my
ex-boyfriend, Hamato Spiffigitsu."
"Spiffigitsu, huh?" says Lu Kang, "Sounds like an A-1 prize all
right! Huh-huh-huhuhuhuh."
Spiffy spazzes all over, then lands in front of Sonja, blubbering.
He kneels in front of her, grabs her legs, and cries into her knees.
"Just pathetic," laughs Little Banjo to Ewokie.
Sonja backs off in disgust, and Lu Kang grabs Spiffy by the collar.
"Don't mess with my girlfriend. She's not yours anymore, tough guy."
Spiffy just blubbers.
"Look, Spiffy," reasons Sonja, "we talked about this. I have
needs, you know. And I think you're just not ready for a mature
relationship with me like Lu Kang is."
Lu Kang smiles, then does his tough-guy stance just like when he
wins in the video game.
"You're sweet, Spiffy, you really are. But you just think along
one track- all the time. I'm not just a piece of meat, Spiffy. I have
wants and needs. I need a sensitive guy who doesn't think about sex
all the time."
"Yeah," says Lu Kang, "I never think about sex."
"See?" says Sonja, as Lu Kang makes nyah-nyah faces at Spiffy
behind her back.
Spiffy points excitedly, muttering, but Lu Kang just looks macho
when Sonja turns to look at him again.
"I hate to hurt your feelings, Spiffy, but you just have to accept
that it's over between us. O-V-E-R, over. I'm sorry, but there's
nothing more we can say to each other."
Sonja & Lu Kang
and (snif)
Spiffy
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Note 3.12 The Towne Pub 12 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 7 lines 2-SEP-1993 11:14
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Ewokie, upon seeing Little Banjo and remembering what an ego-maniac he
is, walks up to him, picks him up by the collar off the floor and
says...
"You're singing out of tune bub!"
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Note 3.13 The Towne Pub 13 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 15 lines 2-SEP-1993 14:28
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"Hey, hon," wails Little Banjo, "I don't hear you doin' anybetter!"
Somewhere in the bar, Ewokie hears a familiar "Ha!" and Alf comes
down off the roof.
"Hiya, toots. The little guy botherin' ya? Lemme take care
of him."
Alf bumps Little Banjo with his stomachs. "I hope you're not
pokin' fun at my dream girl, 'cuz if you are, you're gonna have to
deal with the old alfmeister."
Little Banjo flips Alf the bird and says,"hey- this wasn't in
the job description. You can have 'er." (then, to Ewokie) "Come
back when ya get hungry for a REAL man," winks little Banjo with a
sly smile.
Little Banjo
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Note 3.14 The Towne Pub 14 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 8 lines 2-SEP-1993 14:49
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Ewokie, at this point convinced that both guys are bozos and only good
for a fling, but not to take seriously, can only sigh. Looking around
the bar she wonders if there are any real men left in the world. "Hey
Bartender", Ewokie yells. "Give me something that will grow hair on my
chest"
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Note 3.15 The Towne Pub 15 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 2-SEP-1993 14:51
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BoozeFlingin' Mike of the New Ninja Turtles collection pops into
action from behind the bar. "No problemo, dudette. Here - have some
tonic. On the ice, on the house."
BoozeFlingin' Mike
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Note 3.16 The Towne Pub 16 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 8 lines 2-SEP-1993 14:52
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Ewokie takes the Tonic, sips it, and frowns. "Don't you have anything
stronger? My chest is still hair-free..."
:)
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Note 3.17 The Towne Pub 17 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 2-SEP-1993 14:55
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BoozeFlingin' Mike is soon accompanied by Mink-Beatin' Raph.
"Hey, try this on fer size!" And he gives her a nasty, dripping,
roadkill fur coat.
MinkBeatin' Raph
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Note 3.18 The Towne Pub 18 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 7 lines 2-SEP-1993 15:03
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Ewokie, not bothered by the blood that is dripping all over her, tries
on the coat. "Hey..." she says. "Are you sure it's not still alive?
It's awful warm and it just moved to my neck..."
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Note 3.19 The Towne Pub 19 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "onothimagan" 4 lines 3-SEP-1993 12:57
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The staccato sound of a laser zip filled the air and the smell of
burnt fur filled the room. Every one of their 17 good eyes locked on
the figure standing in the doorway.
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Note 3.20 The Towne Pub 20 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 10 lines 3-SEP-1993 13:48
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Liz bursts back in through the door, wearing a red minidress, black
leather jacket, and black go go boots, a coiled whip on her hip.
"Tequila!" she yells as she does a flip and lands perched on the end
of the bar.
Liz
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Note 3.21 The Towne Pub 21 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 4 lines 3-SEP-1993 14:21
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Spiffy watches slack-jawed at the awesome flip.
Spiffy
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Note 3.22 The Towne Pub 22 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 15 lines 3-SEP-1993 15:40
-< Eat your heart out, Spiffy! >-
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Liz glances over at the gaping ninja and giggles shyly, then catches
her tequila as it shoots toward her. She looks dubiously at the
shotglass and yells at the bartender, "Heck, just throw me the bottle!"
The large turtle behind the bar does so as Liz tosses back the shot.
Without a glance at the bottle, she traces a symbol in the air and
freezes it. Delicately placing the shotglass on the bar, she glances
at the bottle, which resumes its flight into her hand.
Producing a handful of Pixie Stix, she yells "LOCK AND LOAD!" as she
downs the contents of the Stix and a large swig of tequila in one fluid
movement.
Liz
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Note 3.23 The Towne Pub 23 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "All this and I cook too" 4 lines 3-SEP-1993 15:56
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Suddenly there is a thump in the floor....then creaks a little
Then there is a faint voice from the floor; "hey....get me outta here"
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Note 3.24 The Towne Pub 24 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 9 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:05
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Tas, the eternal curious, goes over and knocks on the section of
floor that chose to speak.
"Hey! Yer not sposed to speak. You could scare someone like that.
Now be quiet and do yer job like yer sposed too." The floor insists
again it wants out.
"Well then, yer fired." Tas tears out the offending floorboard and
lo and behold.....
Tas
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Note 3.25 The Towne Pub 25 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "All this and I cook too" 10 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:09
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....Phantomstalker climbs out in a hurry while fighting a large
testicle trying to pull him back in. With one final swoop,
Phantomstalker manages to beat the hairy ball back down into the bowls
of darkness. He then takes a table and turns it upside down to cover
the hole. Phantomstalker looks around while brushing the dust off of
his leather jacket and the brim of his hat. "Whew!! that was a close
one!!"
--Phantomstalker
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Note 3.26 The Towne Pub 26 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 5 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:11
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Tas stares there dumbfounded, trying to get the floor to speak
again. Giving up on the timber, Tas turns to Phantomstalker.
"Hey there, long time no see, whats up dude?"
Tas
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Note 3.27 The Towne Pub 27 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 10 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:17
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"HI!" Phantomstalker finds himself bowled over by a flash of red. Liz
hugs him.
"Wanna Pixie Stik? They're really really good!!!!" she asks, downing
another slug of tequila.
Liz
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Note 3.28 The Towne Pub 28 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 10 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:22
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Ewokie shrugs off the godawful coat and walks over to her friends, the
wench, the boy and the floor. Hugging everyone she looks at the
bartender and yells...
"Drinks are on me!"
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Note 3.29 The Towne Pub 29 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "All this and I cook too" 4 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:23
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"Yea....I'm gonna need one. I've been fighting that testicle all day"
--Phantomstalker
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Note 3.30 The Towne Pub 30 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 4 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:23
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Tas cheers and dumps his ale all ove Ewokie.
"On her everyone!"
Tas
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Note 3.31 The Towne Pub 31 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 8 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:36
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Liz hands the bottle of tequila and a handful of Pixie Stix to
Phantomstalker and hugs Ewokie in return.
"Ick... did you know you have a live weasel on your back?"
Liz
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Note 3.32 The Towne Pub 32 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 9 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:37
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Ewokie, clothes sticking onto her wet, sopping body, laughs loudly.
"Oh Tas..." she leers at him. "You are going to pay for that drink
yourself"
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Note 3.33 The Towne Pub 33 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 45 lines 3-SEP-1993 16:56
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BeerChuckin' Mike starts flingin' around the booze. "Exactamundo,
Dudette," he chimes in.
Sonja pulls away from Spiffy, who collapses onto the floor.
She and Lu Kang step over him to the bar. Sonja tries to look
pleasant, politely ignoring Spiffy Ninja who is trying desperately
to impress her by swallowing a burning torch. He scalds himself
and runs around the bar with his tongue on fire.
"Boy," says Lu Kang, "Whatever made you want to go out with
that guy?"
Sonja stares off somewhere, saying,"Please, dear, I don't want
to talk about him."
"Sure. Sounds good." Lu Kang takes out his wallet and shows
Sonja a flip-album of all his favorite Martial Arts Instructors.
BoozeChuckin' Mike displays a picture ofhis tsin-sai, Movie SIII
Splinter. tm
Little Banjo strolls up to Spiffy, carrying a big mug of brew.
"Hey, look what I got from Liz... and -she- paid for it! Quick, go
get some before she wises up!"
Spiffy just blows some snots into his glove.
"Awww, come on! Don't tell me you're STILL cryin' over that
Sonja tramp! I mean, look! She's got no taste! Everyone knows
that Lu Kang sucks! I mean, all he does is go around saying,
'hwaaaaahhhh' all the time."
Spiffy bawls some more.
"Ok, ok. Bad Example. But I mean, look at how she -dresses-!
I mean, she's wearing puke-green for cryin' out loud!"
Spiffy tilts his head slightly, lingering on her better attributes.
"Hey, hey!" Banjo slaps him. "That's what got you in trouble in
the first place. Now look, if you're really serious about this chick,
not that -I- would be ... I would dump the 'ho ... ya gotta prove that
you're better than that panzee, Lu Kang. And when she rejects ya
again, just come on by and I'll give ya a shoulder t' cry on. I'm here
for ya."
Spiffy puts hisead on Little Banjo's shoulder.
Just then, the Uh-huh girls walk into the bar.
"Look, not now, Spiffy. I gotta go."
And off runs Little Banjo, twangin' away and singing off-key.
Little Banjo
Spiffy
BeerChuckin' Mike
Sonja
Lu Kang
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Note 3.34 The Towne Pub 34 of 554
LEVVAX::DCR3177 "The SmoekDuster is not dead...." 31 lines 4-SEP-1993 21:29
-< Charlemagne returns.................. >-
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Moments later, outside the bar a police car,sirens blasting, comes to a
screeching halt, spinning 90 degrees into the lot directly in front of
the bar. The inhabitants all look out the window, each hiding their
inner guilts. The turtles inside duck for cover behind the bar. The
door crashes open and the officer enters. He dressed in a more
military style uniform than the typical police of Lev Town. The
regulars, quickly realize that they are in no danger and return to
their revelry. Only the ninja Lu Kang seems disturbed at the new entry
to the pub.
The "cop" goes to the bar where he orders a drink. Spiffy seeing
his old friend Charlemagne at the bar, cataflumps undexterously to the
shiny floor nearby, which has just been waxed. Charlemagne picks up
Spiffy, by the collar,(ok so it was closer to his neck, but who's
counting) and seats him on the stool.
"Spiffy, what has happened to you?"
To which Spiffy mutters and looks admiringly at Sonja, who won't
even give him the time of day.
"I see. Wait a second, hold the phone. Do you know who that is
with Sonja?"
MinkBeatin' Raph exclaims,"Who d' ya think, bub? That's Lu Kang
from Mortal Combat. Figures she'd fall for a Video Freak."
"To some he is Lu Kang. But in my book he is
Zodiac Kang I, guilty of espionage and high treason against
the Holy Laws of Lev..."
Charlemagne cuts off his discussion with Raph and Spiffy and pulls
out his radio and mutters into it................
Charlemagne
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Note 3.35 The Towne Pub 35 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 12 lines 5-SEP-1993 13:35
-< I WAS a Criminal Justice major, after all... >-
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Liz ducks into the lil' wenches room for a moment, then comes out in a
tight blue police uniform.
"Hey Charlamagne... you called for backup?" He gestures towards Liu
Kang, and she nods. With a chain of backflips, she leaps over to Kang,
pins him to the bar, and yells "You have the right to keep your trap
shut! If you don't, I'll kick you till you do! Got it?" He nods,
petrified with fear of the Pixie-Stix laden kender cop.
Liz
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Note 3.36 The Towne Pub 36 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 15 lines 5-SEP-1993 13:41
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Sonja steps away from the bar in horror...
"What are you -doing-?"
"Back off, miss," says Liz, "It's for your own protection."
Lu Kang fights on the bartop as Liz shoves his face into the shiny
bartop tiles. "You can't do this to me. I have rights!"
Spiffy watches in amazement, his fingers going limp, causing him to
drop and shatter his glass of champaigne.
Little Banjo just looks on, sitting in one of the Uh-Huh Girl's
laps and saying, "What a moron. I never trusted him for a minute!"
Little Banjo
Sonja
Lu Kang
Spiffy
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Note 3.37 The Towne Pub 37 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 19 lines 5-SEP-1993 13:56
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"I know you have rights... I just read them to you!" she says, and
kicks him in the shin. He yelps. Liz and Charlamagne grab him by the
arms and drag him out to a waiting paddy wagon, and he is hauled off
like the garbage he is. (so there!)
Dusting her hands off, Liz struts back into the bar, goes back to
the lil' wenches' room, and changes into her dress once more.
"Strawberry Quik..... and some more Pixie Stix!" she hollers to
Boozeflingin' Mike as she cruises up next to Sonja.
"Sorry we had to haul your man off like that.... he was kinda hot!
But, he was also terribly, grossly nasty. You can do better anyways."
With that, Liz tosses back her Quik and begins to dance.
Liz
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Note 3.38 The Towne Pub 38 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 13 lines 6-SEP-1993 10:07
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Ewokie stands around, watching all the excitement that is taking place
in the bar. As she watches Liz doing her job, she notices that little
Banjo is off on someone's lap, looking like he is on cloud nine.
Jealous that she lost him, and realizing that she wants him back for a
little while longer (she misses his songs) she proceeds up to the
Uh-huh girl, takes her by the collar, pulls her to her feet, and slugs
her. The other girls jump in to help their friend, but they all forgot
that Ewokie is a certified Bronxian. With a thud and a smack she kicks
all their butts and hauls them out of the bar by their mane. At the
front doo she slowly turns around and starts heading back for Little
Banjo...
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Note 3.39 The Towne Pub 39 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "All this and I cook too" 8 lines 6-SEP-1993 14:12
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Phantomstalker steps in front of ewokie and gives her a passionate kiss
which causes her to forget little Banjo.
"After fighting the giant testicle, I missed you more!! No more
adventures for me for a long time!!"
--Phantomstalker
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Note 3.40 The Towne Pub 40 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 17 lines 6-SEP-1993 16:24
-< Don't strum with the Banjo >-
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Little Banjo, seeing all his women either unconscious or gone,
starts to do what he does best - be obnoxious.
(To Stalker) "Hey, Loverboy, it's OBVIOUS she's crazy about -me-!
So howzabout ya take a hike?"
Phantomstalker laughs in Little Banjo's general direction. Little
Banjo gets ticked.
"Look," says Phantomstalker, "no hard feelings, okay little guy?
Here's some quarters. Go have a soda. On me."
"LITTLE GUY?!?" Little Banjo is really hot under the collar, and
slaps Phantomstalker's open hand, causing the money to roll everywhere.
Stalker just looks on in shocked surprise.
"You ain't seen the last o' me!" says Little Banjo in a string of
obscenity, and in a boiling halfling huff, he storms off to plot his
revenge.
Little Banjo!
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Note 3.41 The Towne Pub 41 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 3 lines 6-SEP-1993 16:27
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"Midol is on the far shelf, buddy." Tas takes another sip of ale.
Tas
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Note 3.42 The Towne Pub 42 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 9 lines 6-SEP-1993 17:04
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Ewokie, shocked that Phantomstalker so bodly kissed her, and shocked at
Little Banjo's show of emotion, pushes Phantomstalker away and goes up
to the bar. She orders a drink that will put hair on her chest and,
while thinking, ponders what to do. She looks for Liz in the bar,
wanting to ask her what she should do about men. A mail man walks into
the bar and yells "Is there a 'swokie here?". Ewokie goes over to the
man, and he hands her a postcard, first class, all the way from Melmac.
================================================================================
Note 3.43 The Towne Pub 43 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 12 lines 6-SEP-1993 17:39
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BoozeFlingin' Mike hangs over the counter. "I would help ya, dudette,
but I'm a -turtle-. Human Beings... I can't figure 'em out."
Sonja is still sitting at the bar, in shock, watching the bubbles
in her champaigne. Spiffy is off with his face pressed against the
window, watching them haul off Lu Kang.
PhantomStalker nudges him in the ribs. "Come on, Spiffy. Now's
the time to make your move."
Spiffy sucks back a sniff and stares at Sonja's back, contemplating
his next move...
Spiffy
================================================================================
Note 3.44 The Towne Pub 44 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 9 lines 6-SEP-1993 18:45
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"Try a triple backflip, Spiffy.... she loves em!" Liz bounces over to
Ewokie and whispers some profound advice to her. She nods and looks
much more chipper. Her job finished, she kicks the jukebox. "Rag
Doll" by Aerosmith kicks in, and she jumps up onto a table to dance
some more, Pixie Stix in hand.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.45 The Towne Pub 45 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 20 lines 6-SEP-1993 19:01
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Spiffy does a triple backflip and bangs his simbols together. Sonja
looks over her shoulder. Was that a smile? She turns back to the bar.
Spiffy just stands there, holding the simbols, his arms dangling
loosely.
"Go on," says Odorious, who has suddenly appeared on a soft,
floating cloud, "the lady awaits."
Spiffy just yanks at his collar and swallows hard.
"Come on, ya whoos! Ask her! Ask her! She's -right there-! Ya
got nothin' ta loose."
"Use th' old Irish Charm," says Uncle McTaggert.
Spiffy just freezes.
"He's -scared-, dude," says BoozeFlingin' Mike, "Just -look- at
him!"
"Quick, give the guy a drink," says Alf, "I think he needs it."
Somebody throws Spiffy a shotglass. Spiffy takes a hard gulp, then
takes the shot in one swig. Thn he passes out on the floor.
Spiffy...?
And the Gang
================================================================================
Note 3.46 The Towne Pub 46 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 66 lines 7-SEP-1993 01:09
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In a blink, Alison Blaire has appeared in the bar. She holds her
hands out in front of her and examines them. "Cool. Double topic
existance." She sees Spiffy out cold, and looks over to see Sonja
walking embarresedly away. She leaves via a backdoor, and appears
rather upset by everything going on.
Everyone is fanning Spiffy and prepping Spiffy and crowding Spiffy
and trying to get Spiffy air. No one notices Sonja's departure, which
is the way she wants it. But Alison does, and follows her out
un-noticed as well.
Sonja sits about half a mile away from the Pub, rocking her head in
her hands. As Dazzler approaches, Sonja springs her head up.
"It's just me," says Alison.
"I know you, don't I?" asks Sonja warilly.
"My name's Dazzler. From Vaxlandia."
"Sol's girl, right?"
"Not exactly... it's complicated. But we're friends..."
Sonja tries to look casual, but it seems clear she wants to be
alone.
"What was going on in there?" ventures Alison. She sits tenatively
on a rock.
"I guess I just found out my boyfriend, Lu Kang, was into
espionage. He lied to me."
"I'm sorry..."
"I can't believe the ego on him. He always had his stuff to do,
only talked about Martial Arts and Strategy and most of all, himself.
I mean, in the big scheme, I guess we didn't daye more than a few
months, but I dunno... I guess I was just expecting more. And all the
stuff he told me... all exaggerated and full of half-truths. And now
the cops drag him off... and it's like such a slap in the face. I
mean, it's like, 'wake up Sonja! Your boyfriend is an international
criminal.' I mean, right now, it's like I can't believe it. But it
was all so obvious all along. I should have seen him for who he really
was, but I guess I just didn't -want- to see it. I don't know." Sonja
trails off.
"I guess Spiffy was honest, at least. But did you -see- him in
there? I mean, he's so strange! He was banging simbols and running
around like an idiot, and yelling. I mean, I guess we're all a little
strange sometimes, but Spiffy's just... i don't know... I just don't
see how anything could ever work out between us. I mean, he can be
gentle, and kind, and he even writes poetry sometimes..."
"Spiffy?" asks Dazzler, surprised.
"Haiku. It's very beautiful. But he's just so different. I think
he scares people sometimes. God, sometimes he even scares me. And
he's just so -hyper-. It's embarrasing. I'm not sure he even knows
it. I mean, on the one hand, I really think Spiffy's something
special. He respects me, and looks out for me, and he's funny, and
never raised his voice at me. He's gentle, and caring, even thoughtful
in his own way. But with all that, there comes all this... just...
he's so -different- from everyone else. He's different from me. I
thought I could relate to him at first, but I just wonder, if I had to
count on him to take something -seriously- for a change, would he be
there for me? Or would he just go psycho? I just don't know, Alison.
He's just ... so ... different."
Alison gives her an understanding smile. "I'm afraid I don't know
that I can say much... I really didn't know Spiffy."
"Well, I just don't want to think about it right now. I mean, look
at him. He's already starting to follow me around like a lost dog. If
I so much as talk to him, I may never get rid of him again. I don't
know. I just have to think."
"Okay." -there's a lot of that going around lately,- she thinks,
then slips back into the pub.
Sonja
Dazzler
================================================================================
Note 3.47 The Towne Pub 47 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "onothimagan" 14 lines 7-SEP-1993 07:49
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Meanwhile Spiffy, surrounded by a crown of people doing all those
funny little things people do when you pass out, ponders the future of
his future and the past of his past.
"What to do, what to do. You leave one woman behind when she tells
you to, and she comes up to you out of the blue (when it's too late)
and says -you know if you'd only persued me a little I'd have known how
you felt and, well who knows what woulda happenned?-
"So the next time you find yourself in the same predicament and you
persue the next person who tells you to leave her alone - and she
thinks you're a f***ing psycho! Why can't we all think the same for
chrissake so it wouldn't be so damned confusing? Well, I suppose we'd
all end up wearing the same outfits and looking pretty ridiculous but
criminy there's gotta be an easier way.
"Doesnt there?"
================================================================================
Note 3.48 The Towne Pub 48 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 4 lines 7-SEP-1993 11:50
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Ewokie calls Liz over to her and asks her to repeat what it was she
said in her ear, being as Ewokie is deaf and lip reads...
================================================================================
Note 3.49 The Towne Pub 49 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 5 lines 7-SEP-1993 11:53
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Tas goes over to the jukebox and drops his quarter in. making a
selection, Tas turns to go sit down. When the music doesn't begim
immediately, Tas turns and whacks the box with his hoopak.
"I MEANT NOW!"
Aerosmith 'Living on the Edge' starts up.
================================================================================
Note 3.50 The Towne Pub 50 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 5 lines 7-SEP-1993 11:53
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Little Banjo is sitting on the bar watching the WWF Channel and
stringing a bundle of dynamite together.
Little Banjo!
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Note 3.51 The Towne Pub 51 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "I have a home!" 19 lines 7-SEP-1993 12:30
-< Enter Backhoe Clown >-
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The noise in the bar was suddenly drowned out by a dull roar, which
grew louder by the second. A few of the pubs patrons look peered out
the front windows to see a massive lemon-yellow backhoe pull up in
front of the bar.
The operator tried to ease the backhoe into an open parking spot,
but suceeded only in dropping the front bucket onto a nearby Porsche.
With a screech of metal, the "hoe" in the back fell, crushing the hood
of the Jaguar to the rear. Then both the outriggers dropped; one of
them cracking off a nearby fire hydrant. As a plume of water jetted
into the air, the backhoe's door swung open and out stepped a midget in
a clown suit. Peering at the damage, he shrugged and headed towards
the bar, whipping out a huge cigar on the way. Expertly flipping a
Zippo out of an unseen pocket, he lit up, then pulled the door open and
headed inside.
Striding proudly up to the bar, he pulled himself up to a perch
on top of a barstool. He leaned back and blew out a huge smoke ring.
"Barkeep!" he shouted. "Grape juice and vodka with a twist."
================================================================================
Note 3.52 The Towne Pub 52 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 6 lines 7-SEP-1993 13:33
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Liz blushes. "Oops!" She grabs a cocktail napkin (just the right size
for a whisper) and jots down what she said. Ewokie studies it for a
moment, then finally interprets Liz's horrid kender scrawl.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.53 The Towne Pub 53 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 4 lines 7-SEP-1993 13:40
-< :) >-
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"You want me to alter my ears?!?!?"
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Note 3.54 The Towne Pub 54 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 121 lines 7-SEP-1993 18:03
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Spiffy sits up and shakes his head, which feels like it is full of
marbles.
"Well, it's about time!" says Little Banjo, who is creating a
detonator and listening to Aerosmith.
Spiffy gapes off toward where Sonja was, and it becomes rather
obvious that she is gone. But Spiffy has this way of getting really
optimistic when he has enough beer in him.
Everybody cheers as Spiffy leaps to his feet and brushes himself
off. A small yellow canary flies out of the rafters and perches on his
shoulder.
"Mmmmm." says Spiffy Ninja, flexing his muscles which seem to be
inflating of their own accord. "Bwah-hah-hah!"
"Woah!" says Alf, "what happened to him?"
"He's back, that's what," observes Charlemaigne under his breath,
as if it were obvious.
Spiffy's Ninja Buttons pop off and roll all over the floor as
Spiffy's bulging chest beats with a heart of pure living steel.
"What a moron," says Little Banjo, "Like she's gonna give him the
time of day anyway."
Spiffy stares down Little Banjo, without even a hint of humor in
his eyes. Little Banjo buckles under the pressure and melts away under
Spiffy's smooth.
Charlemaigne suddenly jumps up and shouts, "Everyone... get DOWN!"
Everyone stares around in confusion, and then suddenly, Lu "Zodiac"
Kang comes waltzing in the door with a sub-machine gun. He's wearing a
tuxedo, full tails, and aims his gun at old Odorious' head.
Charlemaigne has a pistol trained on his heart in an instant, but
he dares not pull the trigger, for only the slightest twitch would mean
the old man's death.
"I see you are surprised to see me," says Lu Kang, "Well, don't be.
I have Diplomatic Immunity in your country. Your laws don't stick to
me. Try to incarcerate me again, and it will mean war between
LEV_SOCIETY and my homeland of GAMEROOM."
"So," says Charlemaigne, "All this was just part of some sinister
plot."
"Yes!" says Lu Kang with a sneer, "For your LEV_SOCIETY steals away
all of our citizens... all the RPGers, all the Video Game Characters.
Sonja is of Mortal Combat. She belongs in her homeland. So do you!"
He points at Alison. "And you!" he points at Odorious. "And you." He
points at Tasslehoff. "A Kender from Dragonlance. Forfeiting his
Birthright to come frolic in this... this... insanity!
"And you..." he stares at Spiffy, "you... started it all, didn't
you? When you were in the Happy Hippogriff, everything was grand. I
had my eye on you the day of the Great Historic Dragon Chess Match.
What did you do? You DEFECTED! But that wasn't enough! You began a
mass-exodus to LEV_SOCIETY. Wizards and pixels and Halflings and
magic, floating islands of pseudo-reality, and science fiction. YOU.
And then, oh, then you made your biggest mistake. You stole away the
heart of my beloved Sonja, the woman who was to have my children and
carry on a new era of Lu Kang Juniors!"
Spiffy shows his extreme distaste.
"Silence!" yells "Zodiac" Kang, "Or I will kill him. I'll kill you
all."
Odorious just goes on smelling particularly ripe.
"It doesn't matter now," says Lu Kang, "unless you want an
International Incident, you can do nothing to me. I already have
studied your Laws here, and I have more than enough to topple your
pitiful Society. The DungeonMaster will be pleased. But I am here on
a personal Vendetta... one with Hamato Spiffigitsu."
He points an accusing finger at Spiffy. "You die now, ninja!
YOUUUU DIEEEEE!" In rage, he throws Odorious away (into Charlemaigne's
line of fire), and opens up with the sub-machine gun straight at
Spiffy.
Spiffy, in the nick of time, bird on his shoulder all the while,
leaps into the air and grabs a chandeleir. Lu Kang is screaming
unceasingly, with rapid fire death, taking out all three of the Uh-Huh
Girls who were right behind Spiffy.
Through the air, Spiffy flips, doing a super-quadruple sommersault
off the chandelier, swinging his nunchucks as if he was on fire.
"HWWWAAAAAHHHHH!" he shouts, knocking the weapon from Lu Kang's
trembling hands.
"I KILL YOU!" shouts Lu Kang, "I KILL YOU!" Lu Kang takes a
running jump, then does a Super Flying Kick straight into Spiffy,
sending both men flying across the room.
Lu Kang takes a choke-hold around Spiffy. "Now, I got you,
Ninja... now I got you good!"
Spiffy gurgles and spews saliva as the world goes red. Then, in
the corner of his vision, he sees Sonja enter the bar, horror on her
face.
"You're KILLING him!" shouts Sonja. She powers up a ripple-blast,
but Lu Kang warns, "Try it and he dies." She lets it fizzle.
"But you and I know, Little Ninja," whispers Lu Kang maniacly,
"That I'm going to kill you anyway. And take your lovely Sonja back to
the Happy Hippogriff with your head as our wedding present."
"Wagowaaaa!" blares Spiffy in protest, flipping Lu Kang over him
with his powerful legs, right through a plate-glass window. Mouth
dripping blood, Lu Kang runs for his machine gun. Just as he touches
it, Little Banjo finishes his detonator and launches it over his
shoulder. "Bombs away, reject!"
Lu Kang catches the dynamite right in the chest. His final look is
a look of utter shock and surprise, as the fuse sparkles down to its
last piece of thread.
Out of nowhere comes a stream of sparkling yellow. Hitting the
fuse like a Robin-Hood Arrow at a bullseye, a stream of piss hits the
spark, extinguishing it with a hiss.
Lu Kang just laughs a gentle laugh as Spiffy continues to saturate
him, then flips over on his back.
The SWAT team comes bursting in, surrounding the place, with their
guns clicking at the ready. "You called for backup, sir?"
"He's the one with the scar on his face," directs Charlemaigne,
"Take him, boys."
Roughly, Startsky takes the man and slams the cuffs on him. Spiffy
gives him one last kick in the butt before he's dragged out the door.
"What about his diplomatic immunity?" asks Liz, perusing her
handbook of Criminal Justice.
"It's not just petty crime anymore," says Charlemaigne, "This is a
matter of national security, Ma'am. He's a POW now. The first POW of
LEV_SOCIETY."
"Let's make him watch reruns of Barney the Purple %$&*." laughs
Little Banjo.
"Don't you folks worry. The situation's -well- in hand," assures
Charlemaigne. He picks up Lu Kang's sub-machine gun, which is actually
pretty nice.
Spiffy walks up to Sonja proudly.
"Okay, Spiffy, I know... we have to talk."
Spiffy winks once for the camera, then takes Sonja outside on his
arm.
SPIFFY NINJA!
================================================================================
Note 3.55 The Towne Pub 55 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 5 lines 8-SEP-1993 10:46
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Tas laughs at the dope.
"I go where i wanna go."
Hoopak to the balls.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.56 The Towne Pub 56 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "The Joker" 7 lines 8-SEP-1993 15:01
-< I am BACK!!!!! >-
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The door opens, the man who is faceless to many, but known to almost
all LEV'ers, enters. The man proceeds to the bar, ignoring the sounds
of the shocked gasps of those who have recognized him because he is
deaf anyway. He says to Boozeslingin' Mike, "Gimme a classic coke. I
am the designated driver today." Boozeslingin' Mike looks at this man
and wonders out loud who he is. The man lipreads him and tells him, "I
am The Joker" and sips his coke.
================================================================================
Note 3.57 The Towne Pub 57 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "I have a home!" 3 lines 8-SEP-1993 15:32
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Meanwhile, Backhoe Clown sips his grape juice and vodka.
================================================================================
Note 3.58 The Towne Pub 58 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 6 lines 8-SEP-1993 17:27
-< Hi Billy... >-
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Liz chucks her C.J. text at the jukebox, changing the song to "Sweet
Emotion", and proceeds to sing along loudly.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.59 The Towne Pub 59 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Twang...Twang...Twang" 5 lines 8-SEP-1993 19:36
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Phantomstalker decides to sit on one of the stools and spin as fast as
he can!
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.60 The Towne Pub 60 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 6 lines 8-SEP-1993 19:54
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Liz throws peanuts at Phantomstalker and watches as they deflect off
his spinning form.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.61 The Towne Pub 61 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 5 lines 8-SEP-1993 23:43
-< A Bud please >-
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Tas walks up to the stool and stops it, sending Phantomstalker
flying off in a random direction. Tas climbs up on his favorite stool
and orders a drink.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.62 The Towne Pub 62 of 554
LEVVAX::JKK7796 "THE MAD HATTER" 5 lines 9-SEP-1993 02:36
-< goldschlager is the best! >-
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the mad hatter walks to the bar and asks..."a triple goldschlager
please"
the mad hatter
================================================================================
Note 3.63 The Towne Pub 63 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "I have a home!" 10 lines 9-SEP-1993 10:31
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The Backhoe Clown watched Tas climb onto the stool next to him.
Politely, he tapped Tas on the shoulder.
"Howdy," he said, proffering a hand as Tas spun around to face him.
"The name's McDuff. I'm a Backhoe Clown for hire. I do kids parties
and stuff like that. Oy! Where are me manners?" He rustled around in
his pockets, pulling out another sizeable stogie identical to the one
he was smoking.
"Care for a cigar?"
================================================================================
Note 3.64 The Towne Pub 64 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 12 lines 9-SEP-1993 10:37
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Little Banjo putzes around.
Sonja and Spiffy walk into the pub again, arm in arm.
"What the ^%$#?" says Little Banjo, "I can't believe you're gonna go
out with him!"
"He makes me laugh," shrugs Sonja.
Spiffy
Sonja
================================================================================
Note 3.65 The Towne Pub 65 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 7 lines 9-SEP-1993 13:36
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Liz watches as Phantomstalker soars over her head.
"Cool!" she says as she proceeds to throw nuts at Tas.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.66 The Towne Pub 66 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Twang...Twang...Twang" 15 lines 9-SEP-1993 14:07
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Phantomstalker sails overhead and behind the pool table with a loud
crash.
Silence for a few seconds....
"CRAP!! I thought I got rid of these things!!"
With a loud crack...one very large, fleshy, testicle flies over and
back to tas smacking him on the head knocking him off the stool.
"Quick! help me cover up this hole or the whole army will be jumping
us!"
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.67 The Towne Pub 67 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 6 lines 9-SEP-1993 19:29
-< DEMON DOGS! >-
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Tas grabs the ex-speaking board and joins the fray, pounding hairy
testicles until they are blue and fall unconscious. Screams of "I'm
Thundar, the BarbarianKender" are heard from the other side of the
pool table.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.68 The Towne Pub 68 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "I have a home!" 6 lines 10-SEP-1993 09:38
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"My lord," said McDuff, putting the cigar back in his coat pocket.
"The peopel round here aren't too friendly. But I know a cure for
that!" With that, he reached across the bar to a bottle of vodka the
bartender har left carelessly sitting out and refilled his glass.
================================================================================
Note 3.69 The Towne Pub 69 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 19 lines 10-SEP-1993 10:35
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Ewokie, sitting on a bar stool, asks the bartender for another drink.
After she chugs is, she proceeds to the jukebox, anticipating listening
to the song "I Don't Wanna Fight" by Tina Turner. As she finds the
number, and pops a quarter into the machine, the doors of the bar swing
open, and fog penetrate the room. All eyes are on the door, as a
short, furry figure looms toward them. Once the fog has drifted,
everyone see's that this figure looks exactly like Ewokie, except that
she is a lot darker. This intruder looks around the bar with beady
eyes, and then notices Ewokie at the jukebox, mouth opened wide, staring
in disbelief. The intruder starts to laugh. She looks around at
everyone else's look of incredulity, and laughs even harder. She opens
her mouth...
"I am 'swokie...Ewokie's dark half...and I've come to stay!"
With that 'swokie goes over to the bar and orders a drink, drinks it,
and then smashes the glass on her head.
================================================================================
Note 3.70 The Towne Pub 70 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 8 lines 10-SEP-1993 11:10
-< O NO! The Dopplegangers are on the loose! >-
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"Flippin' A!" says Little Banjo, "Not again!"
"I was cleanin' up Warlock and Merlin for weeks the last time..."
reminisces Stanley Spadowski, as he mops up the Spiffy Ninja Piss.
Little Banjo
Stanley
================================================================================
Note 3.71 The Towne Pub 71 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 12 lines 10-SEP-1993 11:12
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'swokie...feeling very naughty, goes over to Little Banjo, picks him up
by the collar, and flings him onto a barstool.
"He looks better over there!" she says.
Ewokie, horrified, goes over to Little Banjo...
"Are you alright my dear?" a panicked expression on her face.
================================================================================
Note 3.72 The Towne Pub 72 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 14 lines 10-SEP-1993 11:34
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"That's it!" shouts Little Banjo, standing up and glaring.
Little Banjo goes vaulting over and dumps 'swokie's head in a bowl
of luke-warm pea-soup. "Bullseye!" he shouts.
"Wow" says Stanley.
Little Banjo walks back to Ewokie brushing off his hands, smiling
ear to ear.
He winks at Ewokie and flops down right next to her. "I like you
better anyway, toots."
Little Banjo
================================================================================
Note 3.73 The Towne Pub 73 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 11 lines 10-SEP-1993 12:06
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Ewokie, hands pressed to his chest, is impressed by Little Banjo's show
of bravery (and show of affection too). 'swokie, however, is just getting
warmed up. Laughing crazily, she walks over to Little Banjo, takes her
shirt off, and shoves it into his mouth.
"Hope you like pea soup almost as much I do" she says.
Ewokie leans over Little Banjo, helping him with his little shirt,
while 'swokie orders a glass of everclear, before running amuck in the
bar.
================================================================================
Note 3.74 The Towne Pub 74 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 8 lines 10-SEP-1993 12:21
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Liz watches 'swokie, dumbstruck by the mayhem she is causing.
"Wow, and they thought _I_ was bad!"
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.75 The Towne Pub 75 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 10-SEP-1993 12:21
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Little Banjo makes "Hmmph hmpphh" noises as he tries to remove the
pea-soup shirt from his mouth.
Also, he gets red as a turnip.
Little Banjo
================================================================================
Note 3.76 The Towne Pub 76 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 13 lines 10-SEP-1993 12:27
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'swokie, upon seeing Liz...runs up to her and yells at the top of her
lungs...
"Hey got a light?"
Liz...thinking that 'swokie smokes, hands her a lighter she fished out
of her pocket.
'swokie snatches it up, takes a strand of her hair, and proceeds to
burn it.
Ewokie hits herself in the head with her hand, and exclaims..."DOH!"
================================================================================
Note 3.77 The Towne Pub 77 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 32 lines 10-SEP-1993 13:04
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Suddenly there is a haze of bright light in the bar...and a figure
suddenly appears. This figure...too...looks like Ewokie, except that
she is a lot lighter. Everyone in the bar runs for cover...screaming
"Oh No's" and "Oh My God's". This new arrival looks at everyone with a
broad smile and says...
"I am Wokie...the goody two shoes version of Ewokie..."
Everyone in the bar is dumbfounded! "Oh No! There are three of them!"
Shouts Tas. Liz looks on the verge of tears. "We weren't supposed to
wet them after midnight! Or was it feed them in water? Oh NO!" Liz
exclaims. No one, however, is as surprised or on the verge of tears
like Ewokie herself. She lost control. She suspects that all this had
to do with an experiment that she is a guinea pig too, but isn't given
a long time to ponder this thought...since Wokie is walking over to
her.
"You shouldn't be here in a bar. Nice girls don't go to bars" Wokie
says in her irritating goody two shoes voice.
Ewokie looks at her awestruck! It's the albino carbon copy of herself.
With that, a very dark 'swokie runs over to Wokie and slaps her across
the face.
"That's for being here!"
Wokie's eyes start to swell, and she wails an ear piercing cry.
Ewokie, confused, turns her hearing aids off and shuts her eyes.
================================================================================
Note 3.78 The Towne Pub 78 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 6 lines 10-SEP-1993 13:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas pulls out his trusty mini gun and blows the two imposters away.
"Made my day." Tas walks over to Ewokie.
"They're gone. You can open yer eyes now." Tas taps Ewokie on the
shoulder so she'll look up.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.79 The Towne Pub 79 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 15 lines 10-SEP-1993 14:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yeah," shouts Little Banjo at the smoking remains, finally having
wrestled the shirt out of his mouth, "and don't come back if ya know
what's good for ya."
Little Banjo pulls out his Banjo and sings a little song...
Don't mess with Little Banjo 'cuz
I'll beat ya up and so will Tas
And then I'll kick ya in the %$^
'Cause I am Little Ban-jo!
Little Banjo
================================================================================
Note 3.80 The Towne Pub 80 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 6 lines 10-SEP-1993 16:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yay," Liz says enthusiastically, picking carbon-copy bits off of her
minidress and out of her hair.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.81 The Towne Pub 81 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 18 lines 10-SEP-1993 18:30
-< The Bartender >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol rises up from behind the bar as if on a platform...
"Hey," he shouts, "I'm back!" He slips a fiver to BoozeFlingin'
Mike. "Thanks for watching the bar while I was gone."
He hops up on the counter and swings his legs energetically. He
eats from a bowl of Tofu, but doesn't seem to enjoy it.
He runs around the bar and greets all his good friends.
"Liz!" - he barrels into her and gives her a hug. "Ahhh, good t'
see ya!"
He waves to Ewokie and Jaiman, who are sipping capachino with
Jaiman's pet testicle.
"Tasslehoff Burfoot! Well, I'll be darned!" he picks up the little
guy and swings him around and around.
"Good man... hey, you still owe me a dollar."
Sol goes back behind the bar, which is his place, and turns on the
sign for Free Drinks.
Solenoid
================================================================================
Note 3.82 The Towne Pub 82 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 8 lines 10-SEP-1993 18:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz yells, "FREE DRINKS?" then hops up onto a table.
"OK... it is now 'Sol is God' Day!" she yells, then bounces to the bar
to claim a bottle of tequila.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.83 The Towne Pub 83 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 7 lines 10-SEP-1993 18:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, glad that the nightmare is over (and asking Tas where he got
that gun) runs up to the bar, hands outstretched, screaming "gimme
gimme gimme"
================================================================================
Note 3.84 The Towne Pub 84 of 554
LEVVAX::BRC8940 "Houdini is still with us.." 4 lines 11-SEP-1993 09:33
-< Tequila Liz? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol, you would'nt happen to have any synthol (sythetic -alcohol for non
trekeis) would ya?
Houdini
================================================================================
Note 3.85 The Towne Pub 85 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 5 lines 11-SEP-1993 10:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yeah, Houdini, I got -lots-! Here ya go," he says, as he powers
up his Maytag Replicator.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.86 The Towne Pub 86 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whadya mean, Doc? Not insane?" 7 lines 11-SEP-1993 12:37
-< IT? Nah, not Pennywise the clown >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The man, known to few as The Joker, looks around the place where peace,
chaos, peace again, chaos again, peace again for the second time has
occurred. He shrugs and turns around to look at Sol who still hasn't
figured out The Joker's true identity and asks him for another glass of
coke. He leans against the bar to take in some more of the activities.
Unknown to all, he is waiting for something (or someone?).....
The Joker
================================================================================
Note 3.87 The Towne Pub 87 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "VAXMAN Returns!" 15 lines 11-SEP-1993 14:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suddenly, all the power in the room fades out, and transporter chimes
are heard. (The lights dimmed because the electronics weren't
insulated from transporter beams.) TLD beams into the bar, walks up to
the bar, and kicks it. Three seconds after he beamed in, the
electronics screw up again and another TLD is there, looking perfectly
innocent... The transporter created two (like in TOS when Kirk was
duplicated) TLDs, one good and one evil... they must be re-transported
to be put back to normal; but there was a space-time rupture above the
planet just after the L'ak'sbwan (Klingon for "SuperMachine") was pulled
through it. Therefore, the two TLDs must find some way to cope with
each other.
Houdini walks over and sits next to the good TLD, as the other starts
walking around arm-wrestling people who are weaker than he is for no
particular reason.
================================================================================
Note 3.88 The Towne Pub 88 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Twang...Twang...Twang" 7 lines 11-SEP-1993 14:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phantomstalker finds another table and turns it up-side-down to cover
the second hole.
"TAS!!! GET OVER HERE!"
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.89 The Towne Pub 89 of 554
;EVVAX::BRC8940 "Houdini is still with us.." 4 lines 11-SEP-1993 15:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ahh Sol.. better make that drink a double... TLD wants to talk to me..
REAL alcohol please...I feel a headache approaching forth.
================================================================================
Note 3.90 The Towne Pub 90 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 7 lines 11-SEP-1993 16:45
-< he's probably still annoying, tho... tequila can only do so much >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz, having taken a Zen Trek Physics course and knowing that tequila is
the cure for everything, liberally hoses the two TLDs with her Cuervo
and watches as their ions converge and only one remains.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.91 The Towne Pub 91 of 554
LEVVAX::BRC8940 "Houdini is still with us.." 5 lines 11-SEP-1993 18:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Houdini soon realizes Liz is right and gets up from the bar stool.
"Gotta go water the flowers guys...excuse me..."
With that Houdini makes his exit...
================================================================================
Note 3.92 The Towne Pub 92 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 4 lines 12-SEP-1993 10:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey! Water the flowers ACROSS the street!!" yells Sol after him.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.93 The Towne Pub 93 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 9 lines 12-SEP-1993 12:13
-< nummy! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz downs another sip of her Cuervo, then pauses.
"Hey Sol, got any lemonade mix?" Sol hands her a canister of Lemonade
mix and a pitcher, and Liz proceeds to make her favorite substance
(besides Pixie Stix)...... Tequila-based Lemonade!
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.94 The Towne Pub 94 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 2 lines 12-SEP-1993 13:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The man continues to wait.....
The Joker
================================================================================
Note 3.95 The Towne Pub 95 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 12 lines 12-SEP-1993 13:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As the Joker waits and waits, all of a sudden, the skylight shatters
and a black figure flies through into the bar.
"I'm Batman."
The Joker goes, "Ewaaaaahhhh!" and puts on a pair of glasses.
Batman punches him in the face.
The Joker says, "Hey , hey! You made me! YOU MADE ME!"
"You made me first," whispers Batman, and proceeds to beat the spit
out of him.
Batman
================================================================================
Note 3.96 The Towne Pub 96 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 16 lines 12-SEP-1993 13:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"oh gawd," Liz sighs as she brushes broken glass out of her hair. She
walks calmly and demurely towards the combatants and swats them both
over the head with a couple legs that broke off a table when Batman
landed on it.
"Take it outside, boys," she says sternly, then goes over to see what
is wrong with Phantomstalker that he is yelling for Tas so... bringing
the table legs with her, just in case.
Batman and the Joker, properly chastened, go outside and resume
pounding on each other.
Liz
Kender Bouncer Wench
================================================================================
Note 3.97 The Towne Pub 97 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 4 lines 12-SEP-1993 13:24
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stanley Spadowski sweeps up the glass with his mop.
Stanley
================================================================================
Note 3.98 The Towne Pub 98 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 2 lines 12-SEP-1993 13:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker and Batman continue to scuffle around....
The Joker
================================================================================
Note 3.99 The Towne Pub 99 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 5 lines 12-SEP-1993 13:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...when Robin pops out of nowhere....and starts to help The Joker beat
up Batman!
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.100 The Towne Pub 100 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 12-SEP-1993 13:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Robin... Robin..." [koff koff]"fight it! The Joker must have you
under his evil control! If I can only reach my patented Bat-Utility
Belt..."
Batman
================================================================================
Note 3.101 The Towne Pub 101 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 6 lines 12-SEP-1993 16:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Batman getto his Bat-Utility Belt, but Robin and the Joker knock it
loose and then throw it into the ewer...
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.102 The Towne Pub 102 of 554
LEVVAX::JKK7796 "THE MAD HATTER" 5 lines 12-SEP-1993 16:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Holy brawl Batman..."
the mad hatter
================================================================================
Note 3.103 The Towne Pub 103 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "VAXMAN Returns!" 14 lines 12-SEP-1993 18:11
-< TLD IS BAAAAAAACK! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD presses a button on his communicator, and BATMAN and The Joker both
are frozen, as well as Robin...
Suddenly, the place is swarming with Klingons, and they take BATMAN,
The Joker, and Robin into custody for being un-LEV.
(The Judge lets them out on their own recognisance[sp?])
TLD sits, satisfied, and orders a triple whiskey on the rocks..
He hasn't drunk in -500 years. (He left the 24th century.
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.104 The Towne Pub 104 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Twang...Twang...Twang" 5 lines 12-SEP-1993 18:32
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phantomstalker looks over to Liz and says, "These floors need to be
reinforced if we are going to withstand an attack for the testicles!"
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.105 The Towne Pub 105 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 11 lines 12-SEP-1993 18:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas walks over to Phantomstalker.
"Billy, what are you doing? Run for the chopper! RUN!!" Tas
fires a burst of hot lead into the testicles beneath the floor. "I
will hold them off!" Tas looks towards the bar and wonders how one of
the testicles got out and managed to put on a Star Flake uniform. Tas
hoses the offender with the mingun, both in fact, Tas realises he IS
seeing double. Only little bits of the Star Flake officer remain.
"To be, or not to be?" Tas smirks as he looks at the bloody stumps
left on the stool. "Not to be."
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.106 The Towne Pub 106 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Twang...Twang...Twang" 10 lines 12-SEP-1993 18:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phantomstalker runs into a closet and in a few seconds, he comes
tearing out in full combat battle gear. (Think of the Marines in Aliens
and the super troopers in the game Dune II).
Phantomstalker dives into the dark, hole screaming, "Banzzai!!"
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.107 The Towne Pub 107 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 6 lines 13-SEP-1993 09:24
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie sits on the bar and continues to drink. Someone, an unamed
person with really flat hair, runs into the bar. His hands waving in
the air, he claims to have seen two other versions of me walking the
streets. Has the nightmare begun again?
================================================================================
Note 3.108 The Towne Pub 108 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 28 lines 13-SEP-1993 12:13
-< betcha you guys forgot what the OTHER half was! :) >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Klingons spot Liz plunked down next to the hole, hammering chunks
of broken table down as reinforcement.
"Hey, You! I know you!" cries one as he forgets about the Dynamic Duo
and Robin to check her out.
"Herb!" she cries and runs over to hug him, then remembers how
Klingons feel about hugs. "What in the blue blazes are you guys doing
in LEV_SOCIETY?"
"Some bozo decided to play M/God and haul us over here to bring some
alleged un-LEV people out of here."
"Where??? Oh, them? Sheesh! Just let it go for now... the great Sherm
in the Sky will take care of it if it gets out of hand." Herb whistles
to his cohorts, and they release the three combatants, who resume their
fisticuffs with alacrity.
"Hey Herb... buy ya a drink?" He grins. "Two Romulan Ales... put em
on my tab!" Liz yells to Sol.
Herb dusts the gory chunks off the barstool and plunks down. Liz hops
onto the bar beside him.
Liz
Herb the Klingon
================================================================================
Note 3.109 The Towne Pub 109 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "I have a home!" 14 lines 13-SEP-1993 12:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McDuff glanced at the testicles popping up through the floor and
decided to do what he could to halt the onslaught. Slipping off his
barstool, he stumbled out the door and crawled into his backhoe.
Blatantly ignoring the warning label on the vodka which he had just
drunk, he fired up the piece of heavy equipment and started operating.
Swinging the front end out into the street, he backed up flush with
the door of the pub and dropped both the outriggers again.
"Don't worry boys!" he shouted through the open window at the back
of the machine. "I'll dig them bastards outta there!"
With that, the scoop in the back crashed to the floor and ripped
out a good sized section. Almost immediately, the testicles were
swarming at the opening.
================================================================================
Note 3.110 The Towne Pub 110 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 5 lines 13-SEP-1993 15:44
-< Holy spit! The Joker will return! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker looks at Batman and Robin and decides to jump into the hole
where the testicles are crawling out of, in hopes of escaping from TLD
and his misguided delusions of grandeur. The Joker gets up and dives
into the hole....To be continued....
The Joker
================================================================================
Note 3.111 The Towne Pub 111 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 12 lines 13-SEP-1993 17:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz, quickly assessing the situation and agreeing with the Joker that
giant killer testicles are much better company than TLD, leaps in after
them, brandishing a table leg and screaming a war cry.
Herb looks after her, then whips out a phaser and dives into the hole
as well.
Liz
Herb
================================================================================
Note 3.112 The Towne Pub 112 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Twang...Twang...Twang" 9 lines 13-SEP-1993 17:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Large booms and rattles emit from under the floor with and curse, "Die
you sperm pumping buggars!"
The battle can be felt through the floor. Screams of terror and
death bombard through the cracks. Wild, thundering gunfire and quick
flashes of light pound through the cracks of the floorboard.
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.113 The Towne Pub 113 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 8 lines 13-SEP-1993 17:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz's high pitched squeak mingles with the cries of the wounded testes.
"Hey, Phantomstalker.... this is cool! Take that you little sac of...
ick! It just imploded!"
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.114 The Towne Pub 114 of 554
LEVVAX::JXM6259 "I hear cries tonight" 24 lines 13-SEP-1993 18:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From the corner drifted a series of notes from a lute...as eyes
wandered over, a man wearing dusty leather pants, a leather jerkin over
a white coat, and a big, really big, bigger than life, no I really mean
it's big, big hat. He grinned broadly and began strumming. (his lute)
"Oh, wondrous are the days
when we fight and are not defeated
but sometimes these days end
and we end up...beated.
but let us not forget our latex suits
for today we fight the sacs filled with goo
make sure you zip them tight, and
don't let any get on you."
Waiting for applause, the minstrel closes his eyes and tips his
head back. Waiting....waiting...he looks back down at teh blank faces
about him and says "I didn't write it! I just sing it! Would you
rather I sing a few show tunes?"
Jongleur
================================================================================
Note 3.115 The Towne Pub 115 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 7 lines 13-SEP-1993 18:14
-< What else would I be wearing under this to fight killer testes? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Do you know 'Little Bunny Foo Foo?'" cries a voice from beneath the
floorboards.
Liz
Kender Boy Scout
================================================================================
Note 3.116 The Towne Pub 116 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 8 lines 13-SEP-1993 19:32
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Batman shakes his head as Robin beats his face in.
"What am I DOING, Boy-Wonder? This is LEV. I feel much better,
now."
The Joker grins and grins.
"Come on, Joker. Let's go. I'll buy you a drink."
Batman
================================================================================
Note 3.117 The Towne Pub 117 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 10 lines 13-SEP-1993 19:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just then, Solenoid walks into the bar. He finds his
shadow-selves : Batman, Stanley Spadowski, Spiffy Ninja, Sonja, Little
Banjo, and all the rest. He lines them up in a row, and says oddly, "I
need you to go home now." He claps his hands and they vanish.
Sol shakes his head a little, and tilts it as if listening. Then,
he becomes his normal, chipper self. He offers the Joker a drink for
the one he was going to get from Batman.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.118 The Towne Pub 118 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Bite me! It's fun!" 10 lines 13-SEP-1993 20:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A head pokes up from beneath the floorboards. Liz hollers "Hey Sol...
toss me my tequila!" He complies. She catches it with a gloved hand,
takes a swig, and sets it down someplace safe.
"Thanks!" She dives back down below to resume attacking the killer
testes.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.119 The Towne Pub 119 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "VAXMAN Returns!" 9 lines 13-SEP-1993 20:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD picks pu Liz's tequila and throws it under the floor. Suddenly, a
large explosion sends Herb, Liz, and the rest of them up with around
500 dead testes.
"You were right! Tequilas take care of almost any problem."
Suddenly, Ewokies start to come in the bar in droves.
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.120 The Towne Pub 120 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "I have a home!" 11 lines 13-SEP-1993 23:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McDuff stared at the droves of Ewokies coming in through the door.
"Musta hit the bottle harder than I thought," he muttered to
himself. "And you," he said, pointing to the minstrel who had just
walked in. "You're not half bad! You ain't, half good, neither, but
your all right in my book. Sing us another one!" With that, he
grabbed a pick-axe and promptly fell out the backhoe's window into the
gaping hole he had created in the floor.
"I'll get the bastards!" he screamed before thudding loudly onto
the floor, laying out the testicles around him with his pickaxe.
================================================================================
Note 3.121 The Towne Pub 121 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Twang...Twang...Twang" 4 lines 14-SEP-1993 11:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The concussion of a hand grenade go off with the screams of terror.
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.122 The Towne Pub 122 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 6 lines 14-SEP-1993 20:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The messy and bloodied Joker manages to climb out of the testicles'
hole and pulls Liz out with him. He collapses and passes out from
suffering double-whammy of two separate explosions.....
To unconscious
to say the name
here...
================================================================================
Note 3.123 The Towne Pub 123 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 13 lines 15-SEP-1993 00:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol picks up the phone and calls the wall/floor/door repairman, a
number he has come to know well.
He runs to Liz and Joker... Liz seems okay, so Sol goes to the
Joker who is unconscious. Sol forces open one of Joker's eyes with his
thumb and forefinger, staring into it. "Come on, buddy... wake up,
here! Don't MAKE me use the CPR!"
Sol forgets all his first aid classes (almost purposefully) and
decides to start slapping Joker on the side of the face. As if through
divine intervention, Joker wheezes a little, and opens the other eye.
Sol helps him to the side of the room with fewer testicles.
Solenoid
================================================================================
Note 3.124 The Towne Pub 124 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Twang...Twang...Twang" 13 lines 15-SEP-1993 11:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A loud scream and a curse emits from the floor
Silence for a few seconds
"GODDAM TESTICLE SCUM!!!"
Followed by a few quick-
CHUCK-BOOOOM CHUCK-BOOOOM CHUCK-BOOOOM
--TEASTICLE-Stalker
================================================================================
Note 3.125 The Towne Pub 125 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 3 lines 15-SEP-1993 12:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All the Ewokies...looking around, decide that it's hunting season.
================================================================================
Note 3.126 The Towne Pub 126 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Wonder Twin Powers, Activate..." 5 lines 15-SEP-1993 12:24
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Would someone care to throw me down a bit o' whiskey," came a
Scottish voice from within the hole. "I'm gettin' a might thirsty
waving this damn pickaxe 'round."
================================================================================
Note 3.127 The Towne Pub 127 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "onothimagan" 6 lines 15-SEP-1993 12:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jd, noticing all of the 'tenders have disappeared, leans over on
his barstool and grabs a bottle of jd (Hmm...coincidence? I think not!)
from behind the bar to toss down the hole. Being generous to a fault,
he grabs a bottle of Stolies for the next round at the bar as well.
-jd
================================================================================
Note 3.128 The Towne Pub 128 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 9 lines 15-SEP-1993 12:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas climbs out of the whole, covered in sweat and you don't wanna
know what else. Walking over to the box in the far side of the wall,
Tas pulls out a pulse rifle and a healthy helping of pulse grenades.
Grabbing a bottle of scotch, Tas leaps back into the pit with a scream.
A muffled voice can be heard yelling among bursts of machine guns
and grenades.
"You want some of this? Oh, you too?" blam blam blam blam.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.129 The Towne Pub 129 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 4 lines 15-SEP-1993 13:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol serves drinks to the more sociable testicles.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.130 The Towne Pub 130 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 2 lines 15-SEP-1993 14:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker weakly motions to Sol that he wants some non-alcoholic drink,
preferably some coke...
================================================================================
Note 3.131 The Towne Pub 131 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 8 lines 15-SEP-1993 14:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol leaves a pitcher for the testicles, then gets a big, rubber hose
which he attatches to the Coke Machine. He throws the other end of the
hose to the Joker and turns on the tap.
"Have all ya want... uh, can I get ya a side-order of paramedic or
anything, Joker?"
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.132 The Towne Pub 132 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 1 line 15-SEP-1993 14:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker waves off Sol's concern and continues to suck on the hose...
================================================================================
Note 3.133 The Towne Pub 133 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Wonder Twin Powers, Activate..." 7 lines 15-SEP-1993 15:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Well if that didn't hit the spot," said a voice, followed by an
empty Jack Daniel's bottle which flew out of the hole and smashed to
pieces on the backhoe.
"Say pal," came the voice. "You're not gonna be using all of them
thar grenades are you?"
================================================================================
Note 3.134 The Towne Pub 134 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 4 lines 15-SEP-1993 16:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie (the real one) goes to Little Banjo and asks him to sing to her.
================================================================================
Note 3.135 The Towne Pub 135 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 4 lines 15-SEP-1993 16:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A whole string of grenade explosions rock the bar.
"Sorry, all gone."
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.136 The Towne Pub 136 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Wonder Twin Powers, Activate..." 3 lines 15-SEP-1993 16:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Well how bet a lettin' me take a try at that there gun?"
================================================================================
Note 3.137 The Towne Pub 137 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "VAXMAN Returns!" 21 lines 15-SEP-1993 19:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD looks at the chaos...
"I'll be right back..."
he runs out of the bar....
And returns with a team of condoms!
"Lemee at 'em!"
He goes into the hole with the team, and screams and screeches can be
heard from miles around... not to mention in the bar... as the condoms
do thier dirty work. About ten minutes later, not a peep can be heard
from down below...
TLD climbs up out of the hole carting two dead condoms, three wounded,
and the other seven are just dead tired after their escapade.
"Man! Those Testies were wild!"
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.138 The Towne Pub 138 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 8 lines 15-SEP-1993 20:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker regains his strength and manages to stand up. He walks over
to TLD and smacks him on the mouth with his hand. The Joker said,
"Next time you use explosives, make sure that nobody is around to catch
the full force of the blast." The Joker turns around and sees Liz, who
have not said a word for about 50 notes. He wonders if Liz has become
deaf and is unable to hear anything for now.
The Joker
================================================================================
Note 3.139 The Towne Pub 139 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "VAXMAN Returns!" 5 lines 15-SEP-1993 21:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD sics the team of condoms on The Joker.
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.140 The Towne Pub 140 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "sex & drums & rock 'n' roll" 15 lines 15-SEP-1993 21:54
-< all testicled out! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz weakly grabs another bottle of tequila and, after taking a swig for
herself, hoses the condoms.
"Chill."
She then peeks down into the hole. "Hey guys... y'all ok?"
Fierce growls and machine gun fire continue to erupt from below.
"Just checking!" She takes another sip and sighs. "Gods, am I beat!"
With that she curls up and takes a nap.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.141 The Towne Pub 141 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "VAXMAN Returns!" 7 lines 15-SEP-1993 21:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"HOLD YOUR FIRE!@!!!!!!"
the shooting below stops.
"There's no more testies down there, you oafs!"
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.142 The Towne Pub 142 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "sex & drums & rock 'n' roll" 10 lines 15-SEP-1993 22:26
-< take for thyself a chill pill >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Excuse me?" Liz asks sleepily, raising herself up on one elbow. "I
don't recall seeing you down there. There is a nice little space time
continuum down there. The boys are trying to close it now. If you
will kindly BUTT OUT, it will be closed very soon. Have a drink and
chill, 'k?" She yawns and ignores the vibrations and shouts from below
and conks out once more.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.143 The Towne Pub 143 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "VAXMAN Returns!" 6 lines 15-SEP-1993 23:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I was down there... and two condoms ran through the hole and destroyed
the machine that had the hole open, thus closing it."
"'k?"
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.145 The Towne Pub 145 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Wonder Twin Powers, Activate..." 7 lines 16-SEP-1993 00:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Eh laddie," McDuff said squeezing off a dozen or so rounds with
the pulse rifle. "This here is a fine piece of wo...." Turning around
he caught a glimpse of Tas with his new toy.
"Now there's something I could get to know better. Hehehe. Let's
go snuff some more a these wee critters!"
================================================================================
Note 3.146 The Towne Pub 146 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 24 lines 16-SEP-1993 11:49
-< Can't keep a good halfling down! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol concentrates a little, and suddenly, Little Banjo walks in
through the door. "Well it's about TIME, Sol!" shouts Little Banjo, "I
got real tired of philosophizing with Plato."
Little Banjo runs off to find Ewokie, and strums on his Banjo.
Ewokie, you are swell as gold,
Or pearls or rubies or emor-olds,
And there's nothing else that rhymes with "gold,"
For I am Little Ban-jo!
Hurrah Hurrah the Bar is sound,
We beat those balls into the ground,
Let's have some free beer all around
For I am Little Ban-jo!
Now, come on, chica, sing with me,
It's easy if ya try to be
Just really loud with lots o' glee
'cuz I am Little Ban-jo!
Little Banjo!
================================================================================
Note 3.147 The Towne Pub 147 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 6 lines 16-SEP-1993 18:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, a terrible romantic, looks at Little Banjo dreamily, just as
'swokie knocks her in the elbow.
"Hey...let's have some fun! Knock that off!"
================================================================================
Note 3.148 The Towne Pub 148 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Twang...Twang...Twang" 9 lines 16-SEP-1993 18:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phantomstalker yells from down below,
"Gotta go!"
A strange light emits from under the floorboards and then
dissapears. Phantomstalker is nowhere to be seen.
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.149 The Towne Pub 149 of 554
LEVVAX::PJB4288 "The Incredible Blurf" 2 lines 16-SEP-1993 19:24
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A puff of smoke goes off and a gentleman appears sitting at a table,
broadsword on his lap ...seemingly relaxing.
================================================================================
Note 3.150 The Towne Pub 150 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 4 lines 17-SEP-1993 09:55
-< The smoking cinders of a gentleman don't respond. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...Till Tas burns him.
"OOps. Did i know you?"
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.151 The Towne Pub 151 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "VAXMAN Returns!" 11 lines 17-SEP-1993 11:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD grabs his phaser and sets it to wide stun, goes into the hole again
and basicly stops the fight with the stunner... Cleans up the mess, and
allows the fighters to wake up--- without any weapons on them
anymore... They're all in a pile in the middle of the floor.
"Weapons are for losers, for only a loser needs a weapon to win."
TLD then leaves the hole, allowing the wakening people to consider his
statement.
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.153 The Towne Pub 153 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Gick-Ba" 17 lines 17-SEP-1993 13:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McDuff watched him leave, then turned to Tas, who was staring
intently at the testicles which began to reappear almost instantly.
Reaching over, he tapped him on the shoulder.
"Did ya see that lad? Looked quite like a big monkey come dropped
down here and started jumpin' about an' all."
"A monkey?" Tas said, pausing his wave of destruction for a moment.
"Down here? You're joking!"
"I'm tellin' ya, I saw it with me own two eyes! Come right through
that there hole!"
"Hmmm...." Tas pondered, flaming another mass of testicles.
"I got an idea. If it comes down again, you distract it, an I'll
bop it on the head with this pipe."
"Ok," Tas said agreeably.
"Now sonny, let's lay down some more of these critters." With
that, he shot off another thundering burst with the pulse rifle.
================================================================================
Note 3.154 The Towne Pub 154 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 19 lines 17-SEP-1993 13:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol stares through the crowd, and sees 'swokie dis off little Banjo.
Little Banjo runs off in profanity, yelling all kinds of stuff, and
storms out of the bar. Sol shrugs and jumps over the counter.
Sol approaches 'swokie and Ewokie. Ewokie is quiet, 'swokie glares
at him and spits, "what do YOU want?"
Sol sits down at a nearbye table, and pulls out a chair for
'swokie. 'Swokie stays standing.
"Ya know," says Sol, "I've had some rough times, too, 'swokie."
"What of it?" snaps the dark Ewok.
"Nothing, really," says Sol, "I just wanted you to know it's okay,
and I understand." He hands 'swokie a small wooden box.
She slaps it away, still glaring.
"It's okay," says Sol, "you don't have to open it now." He gently
picks it up again, and places it on the table nearbye. "Just so you
know it is here."
And Sol walks back to his bar.
Solenoid
================================================================================
Note 3.155 The Towne Pub 155 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "The light bringer" 3 lines 17-SEP-1993 19:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Awwwh ;,,,-<
Sceadeau *sniffsniff*
================================================================================
Note 3.156 The Towne Pub 156 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "sex & drums & rock 'n' roll" 13 lines 18-SEP-1993 16:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz stirs and yawns, stretching broadly.
"I feel much better," she sighs, twisting around and cracking her back
loudly.
"Ahhh. I need a drink. Where'd my Cuervo run off to?" Liz looks
around and finds the bottle and a handful of Pixie Stix. As she eats
the Stix and sips the tequila, she rises and finds a nice cozy corner
spot at the bar.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.157 The Towne Pub 157 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 9 lines 18-SEP-1993 17:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'swokie continues to eye the box distrustfully. She turns to Ewokie
and says "They are all scum! Don't ever believe them. Don't ever
trust them! All you have is me!"
With that, she runs to the bathroom screaming. Ewokie looks after her,
angry at her for always controlling her life. She walks over to Tas
and asks for a hug.
================================================================================
Note 3.158 The Towne Pub 158 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "sex & drums & rock 'n' roll" 9 lines 18-SEP-1993 17:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz watched 'swokie's tirade. She slams back a deeper slug of tequila
to drive away the voice that had been saying the same thing to her.
She sighs and lays her head on her arms. It has been a long day.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.159 The Towne Pub 159 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 10 lines 18-SEP-1993 17:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie see's Liz and forgets Tas. She goes over to her, slaps her in
the back and says...
"Hey there wench! How's about another drink? Before 'swokie comes out
and depresses me again!"
================================================================================
Note 3.160 The Towne Pub 160 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "sex & drums & rock 'n' roll" 10 lines 18-SEP-1993 17:53
-< here's to good friends.... tonite is >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Dudette!" Liz pours Ewokie a shot of tequila and pours one for
herself. She raises her shotglass.
"To the men of our dreams... wherever they may be!"
They clink glasses and swig.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.161 The Towne Pub 161 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 8 lines 18-SEP-1993 17:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie raises her glass..."hear, hear..."
She looks around and sees a picture of wonder weenie in her head.
"Liz said dreams...not nightmares..." she yells at the ceiling.
================================================================================
Note 3.162 The Towne Pub 162 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "sex & drums & rock 'n' roll" 12 lines 18-SEP-1993 18:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Which wonder weenie... I dated two!
*********
Liz sighs, thinking of a guy far away whom she lusts after with all her
soul.
"Maybe someday..."
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.163 The Towne Pub 163 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 7 lines 18-SEP-1993 18:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie looks at Liz with that dumb faraway look :) mouth hanging open,
eyes longing. She, too, thinks about her dream man...a reincarnate of
the famous Dan Connor.
================================================================================
Note 3.164 The Towne Pub 164 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 7 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas comes topside again, after all testicle fighting is hard work.
Grabbing a bottle of scotch, Tas walks over to Ewokie and douses her.
"Forget me. Hmmph." Tas takes a big swig and then goes to get
Gabe's favorite weapon of all, the war ender, the backhoe.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.165 The Towne Pub 165 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "And the llamas shall lead..." 8 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz drinks some more tequila, all the while eternally grateful for her
kender alcohol tolerance (the only alcohol that affects her is the
stuff brewed on Krynn, which is too expensive for her and packs a much
greater buzz)
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.166 The Towne Pub 166 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 4 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, soaking wet, stands idiotically, as 'swokie comes out and
lectures her about not moving fast enough.
================================================================================
Note 3.167 The Towne Pub 167 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "And the llamas shall lead..." 8 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz @$#%$-slaps 'swokie for being a turd, then douses her with tequila,
because, as you all know, tequila cures even the worst of dark halves.
Liz
National Tequila Council Spokeskender
================================================================================
Note 3.168 The Towne Pub 168 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 9 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:44
-< :) >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'swokie, not to be taken lightly, picks Liz up and throws her to the
testicles. She then shakes her hands and looks around.
"Wanna challenge me?"
================================================================================
Note 3.169 The Towne Pub 169 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "And the llamas shall lead..." 8 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz comes back up, struggling testicle in hand, and throws the testicle
down the front of 'swokie's shirt.
"Here... a new friend for ya!" As 'swokie "plays" with her new
"friend", Liz returns to the bar and chats with Ewokie about llamas.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.170 The Towne Pub 170 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Run Brother! Run!" 5 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas comes up and says ya.
"Remeber this?" Tas holds up the minigun. 'swokie looks for
someone else to pick on.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.171 The Towne Pub 171 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 13 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'swokie, hopping mad and hopping because of the testical making friends
with her members, jumps up and down.
Ewokie turns to Liz and says..."Hey she dances better than the dudes
from Soul Train!"
"but not better than llamas!"
Ewokie
================================================================================
Note 3.172 The Towne Pub 172 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "And the llamas shall lead..." 5 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just then, a llama enters the bar and begins to dance with 'swokie.
Llama
================================================================================
Note 3.173 The Towne Pub 173 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "The Ewok from the Bronx" 4 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:51
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey....it's Joe Kool...the coolest Llama around" Cries Ewokie. With
that, she picks up some cud and starts chewing on it.
================================================================================
Note 3.174 The Towne Pub 174 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "And the llamas shall lead..." 10 lines 18-SEP-1993 19:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe baas at Ewokie in his oh so cool voice, then spins 'swokie around
and proceeds to tango, chewing on her hair the whole while.
Liz grins and raises her bottle to her old friend.
Liz
Joe
================================================================================
Note 3.175 The Towne Pub 175 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Ewokie is one twisted chick" 17 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie smiles and raises her bottle back.
Joe, getting bored with a 'swokie that appears to have some mutation
growth on her chest, goes over to Ewokie and Liz and says...
"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
Liz looks at Ewokie and says..."What did he say?"
Ewokie looks at him and says..."He wants your sex!"
Joe takes both girls and gives them rides on his hump. Later this
became the Humpty Dance.
================================================================================
Note 3.176 The Towne Pub 176 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "I love ewoks. She wins." 4 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:03
-< Yes you, look at my pers >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas runs to find an emergency med kit. Seems his side got split
open. Wonder by who?
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.177 The Towne Pub 177 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "I wanna be an airborne llama..." 11 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz, satiated by this wondrous beast, returns to her tequila with a
happy sigh.
"That llama sure knows how to party."
Joe continues to smoke his after-dancing cigarette. (Llama Brand, of
course)
Liz
Joe
================================================================================
Note 3.178 The Towne Pub 178 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Ewokie is one twisted chick" 16 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wokie comes into the bar and looks at everyone.
"You should all be in bed by now!"
Ewokie, dizzy from her joyride, takes out a camel and starts to smoke
it.
"Shaddup ya big jerk!"
With that, she exhales. 'swokie is turning red, but seeming to enjoy
the company of the testicles.
Ewokie is dismayed. Only she can kill 'swokie and Wokie.
================================================================================
Note 3.179 The Towne Pub 179 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "I love ewoks. She wins." 4 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas needs a stronger drink. Tossing the bottle of scotch away, he
goes for the radioactive sludge.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.180 The Towne Pub 180 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Ewokie is one twisted chick" 17 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, upon seeing Tas, goes up to him. She picks up a super soaker
that was near the jukebox, and douses him with it. Tas, alarmed, looks
up and there is fear in his eyes, for he has crossed the wrong wookie.
With that, he starts to stammer. She looks cold and says...
"What do we say Tassie?"
Tas, ashamed, looks up at her.
"I love Ewoks!"
"Very Good Tas!" Ewokie says. With that, she goes to Liz and starts
discussing the possibility of adopting Llamas from 3rd world countries.
================================================================================
Note 3.181 The Towne Pub 181 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "I love ewoks. She wins." 5 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas leans over to Backhoe Clownman.
"Never tell em you don't. Lible to rip off yer arm." Tas smiles
deeply at Ewokie.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.182 The Towne Pub 182 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Ewokie is one twisted chick" 3 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, Deaf, didn't hear his last comment, and it's just as well.
================================================================================
Note 3.183 The Towne Pub 183 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "I wanna be an airborne llama..." 9 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz looks admiringly at Ewokie.
"Good control! Those guys aren't easy to train!" She then gives
Ewokie Sally Struthers' phone number, since third world llamas are her
cause of the week.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.184 The Towne Pub 184 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Being held hostage by Ewok. Help" 4 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas jumps back into the testosterone, I mean testicle, pit. A
warriors job is never done.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.185 The Towne Pub 185 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Llama me baby" 16 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie takes the number from Liz.
"You know..." she says. "It wouldn't be much at all...to have a baby
llama of our own...it would only take..."
Liz, horrified...takes away Ewokie's Tequila.
"You've been Chuggling too much!"
With that Ewokie does a backover flip, yells "Whoooooooooaaa!" and
proceeds to flirt with the jukebox plug.
================================================================================
Note 3.186 The Towne Pub 186 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "I wanna be an airborne llama..." 8 lines 18-SEP-1993 20:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grr
Growl
Scratch scratch.
Liz peeks down into the pit to see how many testes there are left.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.187 The Towne Pub 187 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 8 lines 18-SEP-1993 22:43
-< New character alert!Sound battle stations! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And instead of testes, spots a large yellow daemon blasting his way
from thew lower depths of the pit. He torches the last remaining
testical barring his way, and leaps onto the pub floor, crushing a
smaller testicle trying to sneak out. He saunters to the bar, and
demands a glass of hellfire, glancing at the rubble surrounding the
bar.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.188 The Towne Pub 188 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Taszilla vs. King Kong" 23 lines 19-SEP-1993 01:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McDuff crawled into the operators seat of the backhoe. a moment
later, the engine caught with a roar and the hoe jerked backwards, it's
massive weight causing it to fall through the floor of the pub.
"Now we're gettin' somewhere, laddie!" came a voice from below.
"Hop on, I'll teach ye how to work this fine piece of machinery."
"What does this do?" said Tas's voice.
"Don't touch that ye fool!" cried McDuff, seconds before the scoop
of the backhoe crashed through the floor of the bar in a different
spot.
"Whoops," said Tas, as the scoop disappeared below floor level.
"No this make it goe that way." A scrape of metal resounded
through the bar, then the squelch of crushed flesh.
"Ooo.." said Tas. "We mushed 'em!"
"That we did! Now if ye liked that, yer gonna love this." There
was a tremendous clang and the bar shook for a moment."
"That was cool." Tas said admirably.
"Yea, hehehehe. Ok, you work those hoe and I'll drive."
"Gotcha."
The engine revved for a second, then there was a squeal of rubber,
and a hazy cloud of black acrid skome drifted out of the hole.
The kender's maniacal laughter faded in the distance.
================================================================================
Note 3.189 The Towne Pub 189 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "VAXMAN Returns!" 4 lines 19-SEP-1993 13:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD hands Sol a card with the phone number of a construction company
that works for 1/2 what his regular does.
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.190 The Towne Pub 190 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 12 lines 19-SEP-1993 13:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol leans dubiously over the bar...
"This construction company of yours... are they reliable?"
"Yeah, yeah," says TLD.
Sol ponders, hangs up the phone on the guy he WAS talking to, and
considers.
Timber erups ceiling-ward as another Testicle bursts through the
floor. All the little testicles scamper around the bar, making
squeek-squeek noises. Little Banjo kicks one like a soccer ball.
Sol shrugs and starts dialing.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.191 The Towne Pub 191 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Happy Birthday Jamin!" 12 lines 19-SEP-1993 14:00
-< To return upon the end of this fiasco >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz sighs and begins sprinkling Cuervo about her on the testicles that
stray too close. Joe the Llama begins to flamenco dance upon the rest.
Tiring of all these testicles (they remind her of her first two exes)
and getting nervous about all the damage to the floor (she doesn't like
it when gravity pulls her beneath a floor), she rises, tosses a pouch
of coins to Sol, and yells "See ya guys later! I.... have business to
tend to elsewhere. Be back soon. Bye!" and scoots out the door.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.193 The Towne Pub 193 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 19-SEP-1993 14:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol waves as she goes...
He bites into one of the coins... legal tender, sure enough.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.194 The Towne Pub 194 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "Ewoks are nice critters." 9 lines 19-SEP-1993 14:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twenty minutes later, everyone looks around at all the dead testicles,
the rubble that used to be the Pub, and Sol's broken face as he
imagines ways of killing everyone responsible for the mess... (but
never enacting the ways, as he's a LEVer.)
TLD sits down and thinks about how the place used to look... before any
testes showed up.
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.195 The Towne Pub 195 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Happy Birthday Jamin!" 15 lines 19-SEP-1993 14:44
-< magic is cool >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A glimmer of golden light fills the room. After it passes, everyone
within looks around and gasps. Everything is back to normal. The
testes have been cleaned up. The holes in the floor have been
repaired. The bar has been restocked. "You Shook Me All Night Long"
by AC/DC plays on the jukebox. And Liz perches on the corner of the
bar, gazing skyward.
"THANKS FIZBAN!!!" she yells, then leans over and grabs a bottle of
Cuervo.
"Let's party."
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.196 The Towne Pub 196 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Llama me baby" 7 lines 19-SEP-1993 16:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, tired of an unresponsive jukebox plug, looks for Little Banjo,
to do the dance of lust for him.
================================================================================
Note 3.197 The Towne Pub 197 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "The light bringer" 21 lines 19-SEP-1993 16:49
-< The End of Lev? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And from behind the jukebox, comes a stanger cloaked in black.
From head to toe, he is one big blackness. The music screeches to a
halt and all eyes turn toward the ominous man
"Wh-wh-who is she?" stutters Ewokie, tripping over a chair behind her.
"It's DARKMAN" says the Joker.
"No," Sol answered, smacking the Joker upside the head. "It is Sc..."
his last words were cut off by a rush of air.
The stranger had opened up his cloak, exposing a vortex from which the
entire bar around started getting tugged towards.
"Come to my world, let me show you what it is I am."
"This is unlev" cried everyone in unison.
"Feel my awesome power" replied the vision. "Lev shall die.
HAhahahaha"
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.198 The Towne Pub 198 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 14 lines 19-SEP-1993 19:00
-< Who could this stranger be? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Wow.... hahaha... "who IS she?")
Solenoid steps out from behind the bar. "I've heard that song before,"
he replies, arms extended, crossing each other at the wrists, Sol's
personal symbol for defense. "Scadoo, I presume?"
Sol
(Somewhere, Little Banjo has popped out of the woodwork, and is hitting
on Ewokie, for he is a real sucker for the Dance of Lust. In fact,
Little Banjo is a sucker for hot women in general. He couldn't care
less about Sceadeau and the end of LEV so long as it doesn't cramp his
style).
================================================================================
Note 3.199 The Towne Pub 199 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "Ewoks are nice critters." 7 lines 19-SEP-1993 19:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD takes a bottle of tequila, shakes it up, and throws it into the
vortex, which immediately explodes, returning the bar to it's former
appearance... a total wreck.
"Sorry, Sol; but Lev can't be killed..."
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.200 The Towne Pub 200 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 7 lines 19-SEP-1993 19:19
-< "Cuz I am Little Ban-jo!" >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Ha ha," says Little Banjo, "Your vortex got kacked by a bottle o'
booze! Ha ha ha."
Little Banjo farts at him, then pulls out his Banjo and strums out
another of his lovely songs for Ewokie.
Little Banjo!
================================================================================
Note 3.201 The Towne Pub 201 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "The light bringer" 22 lines 19-SEP-1993 20:01
-< The Showdown >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Curses, foiled again." said cloaked figure.
"Don't worry pal, you should have known that Lev could not die. Ya
see, Lev is the place in which only good can happen. LEVititious
things. LEVity floats above all that which is bad. You could not
destroy us because we are not a thing but an idea. An idea that as
long as this family is alive, LEV will be alive." said Sceadeau.
"But isn't he ..."
"No," Sceadeau said, "The cloaked one is the part of me I try to hide.
His world is much different than ours, morals do not exist, only the
primitive urge to kill. He shall not come here again."
With that, Sceadeau banished Scadoo out of the bar.
*exit Scadoo*
"Ho-ray", hiccuped Ewokie right before blowing chunk.
"Must've been something she ate..." Fnord said.
Undetected, a hiding testicle began to mutate into ...
================================================================================
Note 3.202 The Towne Pub 202 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "Ewoks are nice critters." 9 lines 19-SEP-1993 20:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
QQ, guys... is Sceadeau male or female? I don't understand due to a
post about four back... read it carefully, and you'll see "he" and
"she" in the same one, referring to the same person.
DUE to the other topics; I'd surmise male; but I have been wrong before
and will be the first to admit to it.
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.203 The Towne Pub 203 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 13 lines 19-SEP-1993 22:28
-< Mutated into.... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Started mutating into....
something that we will never know, for as it started to emerge, a bolt
of fire engulfed its form, leaving nothing but a small pile of green
cinders and a wisp of smoke.
ETRigan blew on his finger and turned back to his drink. "Hey
Bartender, how about a little more Tobasco sauce?"
"Sure." And tha bottle slides down the bar, only to pause suddenly
and upend itself into ETRigan's drink.
"Thanks. Say, does this king of stuff happen all the time around
here?"
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.204 The Towne Pub 204 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 9 lines 19-SEP-1993 22:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Depends how good our imaginations are working on a given night,"
says Sol, taking Tobasco Inventory. "Just a lot of testes and llamas
lately, that's all.
"My name's Solenoid... good to meet you. As long as I can count on
you to treat the customers with respect, you'll have no trouble here.
Okay?"
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.205 The Towne Pub 205 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 5 lines 19-SEP-1993 22:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Sounds good to me. So...Who are all these people? And why is the
jukebok playing 'Eat the Rich' backwards?"
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.206 The Towne Pub 206 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 12 lines 19-SEP-1993 22:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"These people are LEVers... I'm a LEVer, Ewokie's a LEVer, Liz and
Phantomstalker and Sceadeau... all LEVers. Other than that, we're all
pretty different... but then Diversity is the stuff of a strong
Society! As for the Jukebox, just bang on it and it'll play forwards
again."
Sol passes some more Pixie Sticks over to Liz... also some
Twizzlers, in case that fits her fancy. "On the house," he winks, then
returns to where he is expected to be.
Sol takes out his Calculus Book and does his homework.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.207 The Towne Pub 207 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "The light bringer" 6 lines 19-SEP-1993 22:53
-< Let it mutate, Jim >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Because," said Sceadeau, "You are facing the wrong way."
"Oh," said ETRigan, turning around, "hey, that is much better."
Undetected to all, including ETRigan, the teste ash started mutating
into ...
================================================================================
Note 3.208 The Towne Pub 208 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "Ewoks are nice critters." 8 lines 19-SEP-1993 22:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol! How much do I owe? if it's under $500000000, I can pay it off; I
just won the lottery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Hey! now I can start paying my tuition debt!
Liz; can I have one of those stix, please?
TLD
================================================================================
Note 3.209 The Towne Pub 209 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 10 lines 19-SEP-1993 23:06
-< Rising from the Ashes >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Testes-Ash Sol, recently mutated, rises from the floor. He seems
to be completely naked, just like Liquid Terminator, as he forms from
the ash. But because this is LEV_SOCIETY, and a family conference, a
Black Dot orbits his lower abdomen, coincidentally blocking everyone's
view regardless of their position. The Black Dot reads, "Censored."
Ash-Sol just stares around blankly, with no seeming agenda. "I can
pay off dollars," he says, "Hey, I just won one of those stix, please?"
Ash-Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.211 The Towne Pub 211 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 4 lines 19-SEP-1993 23:08
-< Nuts >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beat me by a couple seconds. Disregard the ash mention, but the
jukebox is still playing Bee Gees.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.213 The Towne Pub 213 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "TLD=~" 9 lines 19-SEP-1993 23:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
go to the post, type "delete" and type yes.
~
(Ps Tell me when it's gone so I can kill this one.)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
(so I can find it.)
================================================================================
Note 3.217 The Towne Pub 217 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Silly Rabbi, crack is for kids" 12 lines 20-SEP-1993 09:24
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The door to the bar crashed open and Tas and McDuff stormed in.
Both were cover in dust and little pieces of testicles. McDuff glanced
at the floor and his eyes widened.
"What's this, then? Where in the blazes in me backhoe? We were
ridin' 'bout, like hell on wheels, then poof! Next thing I know, me
an' the lad here's lying out in middle o' road!"
He shot a gaze around the bar but was met with blank stares.
"Well then," he huffed. "Guess it's drinkin' time." He stepped up
to the bar and climbed atop a barstool.
"Killian's Red, in the bottle. And set up me friend here, too."
================================================================================
Note 3.218 The Towne Pub 218 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Being held hostage by Ewok. Help" 4 lines 20-SEP-1993 11:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas sighs. It was great fun while it lasted. Sitting with Backhoe
Clown, they start sharing teste war stories.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.219 The Towne Pub 219 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "But what if I pressed this button h" 8 lines 20-SEP-1993 11:40
-< Llamallamallama--Revenge of the Nerds fraternity. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In came a fool, dancing on his head shouting, "Llamas. Llamas
everywhere. They have taken over. Hoe-hoe-hee-hee." Then he
disappeared.
Sceadeau walked overto the entrance and looked out and saw...
A LLAMA STAMPEDE.
================================================================================
Note 3.220 The Towne Pub 220 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Go Away!" 14 lines 20-SEP-1993 13:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'swokie...really bored that nothing is taking place in the bar, goes up
to Tas.
"Hey there! Why the long face? You think you got troubles! You
should hear about me!"
With that she continues to look at him, hoping that he will smile.
Ewokie continues to flirt with Little Banjo, hoping that someday he
will want to marry her. Being the hopeless romantic that she is, she
can only swoon as he sings to her.
================================================================================
Note 3.221 The Towne Pub 221 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Being held hostage by Ewok. Help" 5 lines 20-SEP-1993 13:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas looks at 'swokie.
"Even Kender have bad days."
Tas picks up his drink and moves off to his own corner.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.222 The Towne Pub 222 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Get away from me Creep!" 7 lines 20-SEP-1993 13:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, noticing that Tas is in a bad mood, goes over to him and gives
him a hug. She sits beside him..
"What's up boy?"
================================================================================
Note 3.223 The Towne Pub 223 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Being held hostage by Ewok. Help" 3 lines 20-SEP-1993 13:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Nothing. How is yer day?" Tas smiles.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.224 The Towne Pub 224 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Get away from me Creep!" 7 lines 20-SEP-1993 13:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wokie walks around the bar and realizes that a lot of people are
depressed. Being the goody two shoes that she is..she starts singing
"I love you...". Ewokie goes up to her and slaps her.
================================================================================
Note 3.225 The Towne Pub 225 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 20-SEP-1993 14:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Banjo watches, slack-jawed as all the Ewokies slap each other
around. He has no idea WHAT'S going on with this, figures they're
triplets or something, and drinks some more.
He really doesn't mind, as long as ONE of them will swoon over him.
Little Banjo!
================================================================================
Note 3.226 The Towne Pub 226 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Get away from me Creep!" 13 lines 20-SEP-1993 14:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, knocking Wokie senslessly onto her butt, goes over to Little
Banjo.
"Let's get married here in the Pub! You're my kind of man!"
'swokie goes up to her and says..
"Are you nuts! He's a man!"
Ewokie ponders this. 'swokie, retard or not, just may have a point.
================================================================================
Note 3.227 The Towne Pub 227 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 20-SEP-1993 14:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm not a man," smiles Little Banjo, "I'm a Hobbit! I may look
like a halfling, but in bed, I'm One and a Half!"
Little Banjo plays "Here comes the Bride" on his Banjo...
Tactful Little Banjo
================================================================================
Note 3.228 The Towne Pub 228 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Get away from me Creep!" 8 lines 20-SEP-1993 15:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(hahhahhahaaaa)
Ewokie looks on dreamily, as Little Banjo strums a disco tune.
================================================================================
Note 3.229 The Towne Pub 229 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Blade Runner" 8 lines 20-SEP-1993 16:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Opening the main door, Phantomstalker thumps in wearing his
cyber-armor and smoke speuing from the plasma-railgun strapped to his
shoulder brace. He looks around and marches up to Tas..."Hey! What's
up little buddy?"
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.230 The Towne Pub 230 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 5 lines 20-SEP-1993 16:29
-< llamas are larger than frogs >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Creole! Lliamas!
Translation- Look out, there are llamas.
Monty ETRigan
================================================================================
Note 3.231 The Towne Pub 231 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 24 lines 20-SEP-1993 18:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe Kool looks out the window.
"Criminy! There goes the herd!" He runs over to Ewokie and Liz and
hugs them both.
"Thank you for a lovely time! We must do it again some time soon!"
"Bye Joe!" Ewokie and Liz yell as the llama dashes out the door and
begins to chase the passing llamas. As the herd passes from sight and
only a dust cloud remains to show their passing, Liz rises and makes a
few passes with her hands. After another glittering haze, the bar is
once more repaired of the damage caused by the vortex explosion and the
remainder of the testes and such. Outside, a new backhoe glitters in
the setting sun. The keys rest in front of Backhoe Clown. Sol's
calculus is finished (and all correct).
Liz sighs and stretches.
"A kender's work is never done."
Liz
Magical Repairs since 1993
================================================================================
Note 3.232 The Towne Pub 232 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 4 lines 20-SEP-1993 19:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not bad. While you're fixing things, get the jukebox to stop playing
Bee Gees.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.233 The Towne Pub 233 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 9 lines 20-SEP-1993 21:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz, whose ears are already bleeding from the evil music being played,
zaps the jukebox with a silvery lightening bolt. It immediately begins
playing "Sweet Emotion".
Liz
Aerosmith lover
================================================================================
Note 3.234 The Towne Pub 234 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 5 lines 20-SEP-1993 21:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And a big screen T.V. pops out of nowhere, playing the video, which, by
the way, was so kewl! The fat bitch on the phone..hahaha...
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.235 The Towne Pub 235 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 7 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:02
-< :) >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(language, dude!)
Liz, her work done, begins to write her Frederick's of Hollywood
shopping list.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.236 The Towne Pub 236 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Just call me Shade" 5 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sceadeau slides over to her and tries to catch a glimpse of what is
being orded to see if his girlfriend would look good in any of it.
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.237 The Towne Pub 237 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 6 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz notices Sceadeau peeking over her shoulder and shifts so he can see
better. "I like this one!" she says, pointing to a red silk chemise.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.238 The Towne Pub 238 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Just call me Shade" 5 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I like silk too. But wouldn't you agree that the skin colored catsuit
with glitters is much sexier?" Sceadeau asks.
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.239 The Towne Pub 239 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 6 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:38
-< well, not ALL the time! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Sorry.... I prefer subtlety at times," Liz says, adjusting her
mid-thigh length skirt and fixing the low neckline on her minidress.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.240 The Towne Pub 240 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Just call me Shade" 6 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:41
-< I want SugaTush >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A smile cracks upon Sceadeau's normally stoic face.
"I...ah..can tell. Howsa about the electric blue lace teddy?"
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.241 The Towne Pub 241 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 6 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:47
-< I need a man >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"oooooh pretty!" Liz sighs, jotting that one down on her list. "I like
this black and red lace thingie too!"
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.242 The Towne Pub 242 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Just call me Shade" 6 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Naturally. Hey, if I bought this for you, would you try it on for me
so I could know if it would look right on my girlfrined?" Sceadeau
asks, with a wink.
--Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.243 The Towne Pub 243 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 8 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz sighs. One of the oldest and lamest lines she had ever heard...
and it wasn't even the first time it was directed at her!
"Dream on, sugar," she sighs at him, flipping the pages idly.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.244 The Towne Pub 244 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Just call me Shade" 10 lines 20-SEP-1993 22:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sceadeau smiles easily now. Liz knew he was only joking and the wink
meant that he was joking, not coming on to her because he knew his
girlfriend will somehow get hold off these notes and hold it against
him for the years to come.
Sceadeau continued looking at the pages, but some kind of ruckus was
coming from behind him.
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.245 The Towne Pub 245 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 10 lines 20-SEP-1993 23:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz giggles. She _never_ takes any line like that seriously,
especially from a friend.
"Cool.... check this one out!" she yelps, pointing at a leather bodice
with matching whip.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.246 The Towne Pub 246 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 7 lines 20-SEP-1993 23:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BloOdShEd walks in, and sees those two gaze admirably over an S$M
outfit. He ponders whether to leave unnoticed or to sit and join the
fun.
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.247 The Towne Pub 247 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Just call me Shade" 5 lines 20-SEP-1993 23:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(matching whip? gulp)
"Hey Liz," Sceadeau says, "shouldn't we find out what that ruckus was?"
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.248 The Towne Pub 248 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 3 lines 20-SEP-1993 23:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TWINK! walks in, says "Whoops! wrong conference." and walkes out.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.249 The Towne Pub 249 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Where's the toast?" 8 lines 21-SEP-1993 08:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McDuff took another swig of his Killians.
"Gee," he said, wondering if ever there was amore subtle hint. "I
wonder what that ruckus was?" Then he turned to stare dreamily out the
window at the brank-spanking new backhoe which sside.
--Cav
================================================================================
Note 3.250 The Towne Pub 250 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 10 lines 21-SEP-1993 10:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Second Solenoid rises off the floor, eyes glassed over like
steel. He has no pupils. He wanders over to the bar where Liz and
Sceadeau are. He is seemingly unconcerned with his lack of attire.
"Hey!" he says mechanically to Sceadeau, "What's up little buddy?"
Sceadeau appears pensive.
He turns to Liz. "Hey, Liz. Criminy! There goes the herd! We
must do it again some time soon!"
Ash-Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.251 The Towne Pub 251 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 21-SEP-1993 10:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first Solenoid watches, interestedly, from a discreet distance,
wondering just exactly what part of his imagination -this- guy came
from.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.252 The Towne Pub 252 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Just call me Shade" 8 lines 21-SEP-1993 11:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sceadeau gives Ash-Sol the once over.
"You know, I am now officially male, so if you wouldn't mind..."
Sceadeau made some gestures which meant for Ash-Sol to cover up but the
Ash-Sol took to mean something else entirely.
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.253 The Towne Pub 253 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Twisted!" 14 lines 21-SEP-1993 13:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just then, the doors to the bar open up. It is Joe Kool, coming back
to hang out with the two women who adopted him from a third world
country. He comes over to where Liz is looking at the magazine (with
Sceadeau hanging over her shoulder) and calls Ewokie over from her
place near Little Banjo. He opens his mouth...
"Baaa the herd bored me. Let's have some fun!"
"He's back! Yayyyy" Shouts Ewokie.
================================================================================
Note 3.254 The Towne Pub 254 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 5 lines 21-SEP-1993 13:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yayyyy," shouts Ash-Sol, "I am now officially cool."
He stares at Joe Kool, seemingly studying his every movement.
Ash Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.255 The Towne Pub 255 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Twisted!" 17 lines 21-SEP-1993 14:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alf, at that moment, walks into the bar and says...
"Ewokie, I love you! Marry me!"
Ewokie looks at him, surprised. If she says "yes", there will be a
possible wedding in the bar.
What to do? What to do?
Joe does not look pleased.
Ewokie
================================================================================
Note 3.256 The Towne Pub 256 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Night Stalker" 8 lines 21-SEP-1993 16:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe Kool studied Alf carefully. Somthing looked out of place on him.
A suspicion crept over him, so he scanned the bar. He was right.
With his suspicion confirmed, he walked over to Alf and removed his
head discovering that it was not Alf but....
Little Banjo in disguise.
Joe Kool -- The Ultillama
================================================================================
Note 3.257 The Towne Pub 257 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 4 lines 21-SEP-1993 16:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the ruckus is revealed to be nothing more than ETRigan picking his
teeth with a table leg.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.258 The Towne Pub 258 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 18 lines 21-SEP-1993 17:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the Little Banjo at the far side of the bar yanks his head off to
reveal that he is really Alf in disguise!
"Playin' the Banjo's just like playin' the Piano," says Alf, "but you
have to imagine it without the -red- keys! Ha!"
Little Banjo, (in the Alf suit) runs over and yells, "you... you
IMPOSTER! That's -MY- banjo! Give it!"
Alf (in the Little Banjo suit) just looks at Ewokie and shrugs.
Ash-Sol just says, "Imposter without the -red- keys." And takes
another swallow of after-shave.
Alf
Little Banjo
Ash-Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.259 The Towne Pub 259 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "To all the boys I've loved before" 3 lines 21-SEP-1993 17:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie faints.
================================================================================
Note 3.260 The Towne Pub 260 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 2 lines 21-SEP-1993 19:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit runs into the pub, catches Ewokie, lays her down, then runs out
back to the camera crew.
================================================================================
Note 3.261 The Towne Pub 261 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 "It'd be cool to be an Ewok..." 7 lines 21-SEP-1993 19:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A construction crew enters the pub, and ask Sol what he wants them to
do...
TLD looks in wonder at Alf and Little Banjo, only just turning and
wondering how they switched heads (or bodies, as the case may be.)
~
================================================================================
Note 3.262 The Towne Pub 262 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 17 lines 21-SEP-1993 20:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Okay," replies the First Sol to the construction worker, "here's
how it is : We need the floors fixed, the walls fixed, the ceiling
fixed, the wiring replaced, a new satellite dish, a new chandaleir, and
a plate glass window. Don't worry 'bout the tab... business 's been
good lately."
"My Darling!" yells Alf, running to Ewokie in his Little Banjo
suit.
When Little Banjo stops yelling for a minute, he looks over and
runs there, also. "-MY- darling!" he shouts, in his Alf-suit.
"My Criminey!" says Ash-Sol.
Sol
Ash-Sol
Little Banjo
Alf
================================================================================
Note 3.263 The Towne Pub 263 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Maybe I should grow some hair..." 5 lines 21-SEP-1993 20:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"My head hurts" said Joe Kool.
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.264 The Towne Pub 264 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 10 lines 21-SEP-1993 20:25
-< lemme polish your glass for ya >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol attempts to engage Liz in casual conversation. "And to think,
underneath all this," he says, motioning at the squibbling
Shadow-selves, the mashed bar, the dead male organs, "under it all
we're still both us."
Sol considers that this might be kind of deep. Oh well, he never
was very good at casual conversation!
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.265 The Towne Pub 265 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "To all the boys I've loved before" 9 lines 21-SEP-1993 22:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'swokie notices that Ewokie is laying unconscious on a pub table and
proceeds to revive her.
================================================================================
Note 3.266 The Towne Pub 266 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 4 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ETRigan finishes his drink and wanders outside to find out why there is
a camera crew outside the pub.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.267 The Towne Pub 267 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 7 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I just hope that the bar doesn't get trashed again before I get a
little breather... my magic is pooped!" Liz sighs, laying her head
upon her arms on the table.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.268 The Towne Pub 268 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 2 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit sees ETRigan and encourages him to go back inside the pub and
have some more fun.
================================================================================
Note 3.269 The Towne Pub 269 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 5 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yeah, I guess that COULD be a drain... thanks for the help with
Calc, though," says Sol to Liz.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.270 The Towne Pub 270 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 8 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"No prob," she says, rising to take another slug of tequila for energy.
"Funny thing though... I never studied Calc!"
Liz
Math Dropout
(I never even got to trig!)
================================================================================
Note 3.271 The Towne Pub 271 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 11 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:37
-< Klingon at heart... here's to honor >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol takes a second look at his Calc after that realization... it
-looks- okay, but then, he didn't do the homework really, so how would
he know?
Sol pulls a Klingon Sash from behind the bar and tries it on.
"I've had this put away for a long time... I miss it. I may even try
it on again for a while."
He proceeds to pull out other pieces of his other-historical
uniform.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.272 The Towne Pub 272 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 6 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Cool! Neat sash!" Liz smiles. "I'm so out of touch with my Klingon
half it isn't funny.... guess I've always preferred the kender in me."
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.273 The Towne Pub 273 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 4 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Why exactly is there a camera crew set up outside the pub? And don't
I know you from somewhere?"
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.274 The Towne Pub 274 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 4 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Well, ETRigan, of course you know why the camera crew is out here!
Now get back to the script before the head guys have to ask you to. I
think TWINK! mentioned me in the script somewhere...what a nice guy."
-Gerrit
================================================================================
Note 3.275 The Towne Pub 275 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 9 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Ok, all right."
ETRigan wanders back into the bar, fries a last testicle that was
hiding behind one of the tables, puts Numb on the jukebox, carefully
lifts Numb off the jukebox and just plays the song instead, and wanders
back to the bar, wondering why Sol is wearing pieces of a Klingon
uniform.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.276 The Towne Pub 276 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 5 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit sighs, knowing that ETRigan isn't going to leave nor bother the
camera crew, but continue with the film. Relief...now if only he could
get rid of his cold so that he could be an extra in the film.
Gerrit
================================================================================
Note 3.277 The Towne Pub 277 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 8 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink wanders back into the bar with a confused look on his face.
Finally coming to the conclusion he made a fatal mistake wandering in
by accident and now can't get out.
He's walks over to the jukebox, removes Numb, and replaces it with
the latest gregorian chant.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.278 The Towne Pub 278 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 8 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz helps Sol adjust a shoulder-bar, then leaps up onto a table and
dances for a spell.
She doesn't get one, so she dances just for the heck of it.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.279 The Towne Pub 279 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 3 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ETRigan tosses her a spell he happened to have lying about.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.280 The Towne Pub 280 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 4 lines 21-SEP-1993 23:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit cheers as the spell lands on the dancing Liz. As he cheers, he
goes into a hacking frenzy until one of the camera men slap him on the
back. With his eyes watery, Gerrit walks away from the pub...
================================================================================
Note 3.281 The Towne Pub 281 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 12 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:01
-< nummy! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz glances at the spell.
"COOL!!!! I didn't have THIS one.... hey EWOKIE!!!! ETRigan just gave
me a 'Conjure Cheesecake' spell!!!!!"
She proceeds to conjure up a couple of large, creamy, strawberry
covered cheesecakes and begins to munch out (sharing with everyone of
course...)
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.282 The Towne Pub 282 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink looks over and notices someone he knows throwing something he
doesn't know at someone he does.
"Hector!" he shouts to ETRigan. "Nice to see you again."
He walks over to him and starts babbling unitelligably.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.283 The Towne Pub 283 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Be one with yourself" 7 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:05
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie comes too, and looks around the bar. Noticing everything she
yells..."Why didn't you let me stay unconscious?"
Little Banjo and Alf run to her side...
================================================================================
Note 3.284 The Towne Pub 284 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 13 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ETRigan dodges a piece of cheesecake and turns to see TWINK! babbling
unintelligibly.
"Slow down, I can't understand you. And you've got cheesecake in
your eye. Have a napkin."
After TWINK! had calmed down, ETRigan put him on the barstool next
to him and ordered another hellfire, and a glass of DeW for TWINK!. At
the same time, he nabbed a few pieces of cheesecake and treated them
with his own K(ey/li)me spell. He handed one to TWINK! and asked him
how he was doing.
-ETRigan-
(and don't call me Hector here)
================================================================================
Note 3.285 The Towne Pub 285 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 3 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink takes the cake.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.286 The Towne Pub 286 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit hears about cheesecake and rushes back to watch them produce the
rest of the film. As TWINK is eating the cake, Gerrit looks at him
longingly, knowing that wishes never come true. Therefore, no
cheesecake for him. Gerrit looks around to see if any of the other
camera men know him.
================================================================================
Note 3.287 The Towne Pub 287 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 8 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By some wild improbability, a large white space ship appears overhead,
discharges 5000 fried eggs and 3 chemists, and disappears again.
By the same factor of improbability, a piece of cheesecake goes
sailing out the door, almost hitting Gerrit in the face. He, however,
catches it and reflects that sometimes wishes do come true as he chows
down.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.288 The Towne Pub 288 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 7 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink does NOT eat the cake. He just takes it. He then procedes to
have a deep philosophical discussion with it after which he feels
extremely insulted by the cakes lack of knowledge and forces it down
ETRigan's trousers to teach it a lesson. He then stands up, walks in a
circle and sits down again.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.289 The Towne Pub 289 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ETRigan removes the cheesecake and throws it out the door. He then
pours TWINK!'s drink over his head as he sits back down, and orders him
another.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.290 The Towne Pub 290 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 4 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink looks at the drink and orders a round of flat water on
ETRigan.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.291 The Towne Pub 291 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Boy, it's noisy in here all of a sudden," comments Sol, knowing
that he should expect that from a bar.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.292 The Towne Pub 292 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:32
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz sits back with a happy sigh.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.293 The Towne Pub 293 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 00:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink closes his eyes and sticks a finger in one ear. He manages to
get a few words out... "Some one... stop the..." before flies up to the
ceiling and sticks.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.294 The Towne Pub 294 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 09:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The incredibly surprised Gerrit (both from the cheesecake and
Twink's trick) stares in wonderful delight. He then comes to his
senses and runs into the pub, looking up at Twink right above him,
trying to figure out how he did that.
================================================================================
Note 3.295 The Towne Pub 295 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Maybe I should grow some hair..." 17 lines 22-SEP-1993 10:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sceadea peered about. Something was amiss inside this lonely place
called the Towne Pub. He couldn't put his finger on it though. He
scanned the cheesecake filled bar, and sat for a spell.
The spell that came to him was another chessecake spell, which is
very bad to have when you are male. So he hid in under his stool and
stopped to think.
Unfortunately, he forgot to start again for quite some time. When
he did, visions danced upon his head of a Suga-Tush wearing nothin but
a electric blue lace teddy and holding a matching whip.
He hadn't realized that everyone else in the bar could see this
because of one typo where he meant in, not on.
Some members of the pub stared at his head for a while.
A couple even came up to him and said.....
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.296 The Towne Pub 296 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 7 lines 22-SEP-1993 11:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Funny thing though," says Ash-Sol, "And don't I know you from
somewhere?"
Ash-Sol stares blankly at Sceadeau with his steel-smooth eyes.
"Why exactly is there a camera crew set up outside the pub?"
Ash-Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.297 The Towne Pub 297 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "I want my Suga-Tush" 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 11:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Because, " Joe Kool said, "I'm here."
He walked kewly outside and began filming his new movie, "Llama
this, Dollface."
Joe Kool
================================================================================
Note 3.298 The Towne Pub 298 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 7 lines 22-SEP-1993 12:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz hops down from the table and strides over to Ash-Sol.
"Hey... nice outfit. Who are you?" she says.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.299 The Towne Pub 299 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 13:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After a bit, Twink falls to the ground.
"Ouch!" he says and gets up to brush himself off.
Then he walks over to the wall and knocks.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.300 The Towne Pub 300 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Blade Runner" 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 13:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phantomstalker stands up (grabing a piece of marble cheese cake) and
in a flash of light, he is back in the rift wars.
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.301 The Towne Pub 301 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 13:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink suddenly turns his head. "Wait! hold that portal!" he shouts
to Phantomstalker. "I want to go home!" Then shuts back up and sticks
his finger in his ear again.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.302 The Towne Pub 302 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Blade Runner" 8 lines 22-SEP-1993 13:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Woa!!! you wanna fight? I'm going to the Enigma
quadrant...Battling Star Hulks and Varaculda...5 minuites from the
front....you up for it?"
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.303 The Towne Pub 303 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Where's the toast?" 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 16:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Well laddie, let me tell you something! I'd be willin' to go with
you if you could fit that back-hoe through yer portal. But I can't go
without it, it's me other half."
================================================================================
Note 3.304 The Towne Pub 304 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 17:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'd go, but I have to keep an eye on this bar... it keeps blowing up!"
Liz
Bar Repairkender
================================================================================
Note 3.305 The Towne Pub 305 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 "BloOdShEd" 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 17:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BloOdShEd, learning his lesson about peace, walks into the bar. He
orders a straight Stoli, as he realizes he will never be able to
plunder and kill again.
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.306 The Towne Pub 306 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 13 lines 22-SEP-1993 18:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In celebration of victories won over violence, Liz does the "Happy
Happy Joy Joy Dance"* on top of the bar.
Liz
(For those of you new to this conference, the "Happy Happy Joy Joy
Dance" I refer to does not match up with the "Ren and Stimpy" version.
This dance has been performed many places, knocked men off stools, was
requested by royalty... or at least a SCAdian baron... and is rather
notorious amongst my friends. For a demo..... :) )
================================================================================
Note 3.307 The Towne Pub 307 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 "BloOdShEd" 7 lines 22-SEP-1993 18:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BloOdShEd orders another drink, but this time, tells the
bartender(who is he, anyway?) he wants a screwdriver.
BloOdShEd
Oh, while you're at it, give me another straight Stoli.
================================================================================
Note 3.308 The Towne Pub 308 of 554
LEVVAX::JKK7796 "THE MAD HATTER" 10 lines 22-SEP-1993 18:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the mad hatter picks up a shot of goldschlager and says...
"here's to the former war...may it never happen again"
he promptly puts the shotglass down and runs to the bathroom to yack
his guts out...
the mad hatter
================================================================================
Note 3.309 The Towne Pub 309 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 "BloOdShEd" 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 18:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BloOdShEd, now having downed three drinks, asks for tequila to wash it
all away. Straight up, naturally. He ponders having it on the rocks.
Nah.
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.310 The Towne Pub 310 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Foxy...Suga-Tush" 4 lines 22-SEP-1993 18:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"No," Sceadeau screams, "Not TEQUILLA"
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.311 The Towne Pub 311 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 "BloOdShEd" 4 lines 22-SEP-1993 18:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why not tequila? It's so smoooth.
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.312 The Towne Pub 312 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Foxy...Suga-Tush" 3 lines 22-SEP-1993 18:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
aaaaaahhhhhh
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.313 The Towne Pub 313 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "You're such a tool..." 7 lines 22-SEP-1993 19:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jd pours another round for everybody and wonders where Spiffy got
off to. "I don't mind helpin' out when a body's in a fix, but I've got
a wife and 6 kids at home waitin' on me. He don't get back soon and I'm
gonna be in the mood to kick some serious spleen."
jd
================================================================================
Note 3.314 The Towne Pub 314 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 19:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz pours BloOdShEd a tequila. She then pours the remainder of the
bottle down her throat and resumes the "Happy Happy Joy Joy Dance"
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.315 The Towne Pub 315 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 3 lines 22-SEP-1993 19:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie runs around the bar, like a chicken who just got her head cut
off.
================================================================================
Note 3.316 The Towne Pub 316 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "You're such a tool..." 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 19:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jd grabs a bottle and breaks it on Ewokie's head, cutting his
finger in the process, and barely slowin' her down. "Spit 'n fire, that
girls made of. I remember spit 'n fire, Musta lost it when I had that
knee operation back in the '30's"
-jd
================================================================================
Note 3.317 The Towne Pub 317 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 4 lines 22-SEP-1993 20:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink pulls his finger out of his ear and holds ETRigan's drink for
him.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.318 The Towne Pub 318 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 4 lines 22-SEP-1993 20:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit watches thinking grotesque and nasty thoughts. "Just think, I
wonder what ETRigan's drink will taste like after he gets it back!!" He
thinks to himself. As he sits there looking bored, he wonders when his
scene is coming up.
================================================================================
Note 3.319 The Towne Pub 319 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 12 lines 22-SEP-1993 20:47
-< Hey Liz! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ash-Sol approaches Liz, and all kinds of odd sounds vibrate from
his throat before he answers her question.
"Hey there Liz! Okay, here's how it is: You know, I am now
officially Sol. 5 minutes from the front, it isn't funny. Hey! Now I
can start paying off my tuition debt!"
He observes Liz closely as she dances on the table, and moves his
limbs experimentally in a like manner.
"How is yer day?" he asks. He turns to Sol. "Killian's Red in a
bottle," he says with an accent, "And set up me friend here, too."
Ash-Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.320 The Towne Pub 320 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 20:53
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Ok...." she says to ash sol, pouring the last few drops of tequila on
him to see if it will help (or at least clothe) him.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.321 The Towne Pub 321 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 7 lines 22-SEP-1993 21:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie wards off the hit on her head. "Thanks jd!" she says. "I guess
I kind of lost it back there." Alf, realizing that Ewokie is touched
in the head, proposes to Wokie instead. Wokie, being the goody-two
shoes virgin that she is, accepts. Alf asks Sol if they can have the
wedding in the bar...
================================================================================
Note 3.322 The Towne Pub 322 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 10 lines 22-SEP-1993 21:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ash-Sol, sensing his nakedness, and the apparent social difficulty
that comes with it, stands nearbye behind a conveniently located Potted
Plant. The Censor-Square spins away, like a balloon full of air
suddenly allowed to deflate.
Sol throws the guy a bathrobe. -If I'm gonna have a mirror image,-
he thinks, -let's make sure he doesn't embaress me too much.-
Ash-Sol
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.323 The Towne Pub 323 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 18 lines 22-SEP-1993 21:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Banjo watches slack-jawed as Wokie accepts Alf's proposal to
tie the knot. "Hey!" says Little Banjo.
"Don't worry... you can be the Ring-Boy! Ha!"
Little Banjo, considering Alf's luck with the alternate Ewokie,
runs over to 'Swokie and proposes. "Will ya marry me?"
'Swokie laughs at him and gives him a black eye. Then tosses him
into the side pocket of the pool-table.
But this puts him at a good angle to see Jessica Rabbit bend over
as she takes the next shot. Little Banjo forgets all his troubles and
decides he'll just lie here for a while.
"Wedding?" smiles Sol, "Yeah... sounds great! When?"
Wokie and her furry groom-to-be just stare meaningfully into each
others' eyes.
Sol
& the gang
================================================================================
Note 3.324 The Towne Pub 324 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 8 lines 22-SEP-1993 21:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alf and Wokie look at Sol and say "We wish to be married as soon as
possible. We'll send out invitations. Oh...what excitement."
Ewokie, however, is standing at the side and feeling very jealous.
'swokie is still laughing at Little Banjo's proposal.
================================================================================
Note 3.325 The Towne Pub 325 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 "BloOdShEd" 6 lines 22-SEP-1993 22:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BloOdShEd, showing no signs of being drunk, asks the bartender if he
has anything that's powerful, more powerful than what's he's drank, as
they didn't do anything.
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.326 The Towne Pub 326 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 5 lines 22-SEP-1993 22:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit finally gets his script together and walks onto the set, saying
Hi to everyone, feeling great. He hops up on a barstool and asks for a
flat soda. The bartender replies, "Sorry, this isn't Gracies," so
Gerrit settles with a Zima.
================================================================================
Note 3.327 The Towne Pub 327 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 9 lines 22-SEP-1993 22:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol gets on the phone, and calls his favourite caterer.
Ash-Sol ties his robe together and steps out from behind the potted
plant.
Little Banjo tries to put the moves on Jessica Rabbit.
Sol & the Gang!
================================================================================
Note 3.328 The Towne Pub 328 of 554
LEVVAX::JKK7796 "THE MAD HATTER" 7 lines 23-SEP-1993 00:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the mad hatter hands a shot of goldschlager to bloodshed..."here, try
this...you'll be a little more than bloodshed...more like
bloodshot...it will put hair on your chest (and other socially
unacceptable places)"
the mad hatter
================================================================================
Note 3.329 The Towne Pub 329 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "ByMyselfButNotAlone/IAskNoOne" 6 lines 23-SEP-1993 00:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas comes up behind Ewokie.
"Nah, don't be jealous. His mother was a green shag rug from the
sixties. Come on, I'll buy ya a drink."
Tas heads over to the bar.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.330 The Towne Pub 330 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 "BloOdShEd" 8 lines 23-SEP-1993 03:40
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BloOdShEd guzzles down the shot of goldschlager and feels no effect
other than weird feeling in his chest...five minutes later, he has a
hairy chest that an ape would be jealous of. However, it doesn't do
anything to BloOdShEd. He is not affected otherwise...any other
suggestions?
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.331 The Towne Pub 331 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 6 lines 23-SEP-1993 08:56
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink overheres BloOdShEd's request and walks over to him.
"Here, try this." He says and pulls a small bottle out of nowhere.
"Don't drink it too quickly, you're liable to end up like me, or
worse."
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.332 The Towne Pub 332 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 "BloOdShEd" 6 lines 23-SEP-1993 09:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BloOdShEd, eager to try the new one, restrains himself. He promised
his mother he would never drink something without knowing fully what it
was beforehand. So he asks TWINK! what it is.
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.333 The Towne Pub 333 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 13 lines 23-SEP-1993 10:49
-< The testicle war was too good to die just yet! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker finally emerges out of nowhere after fighting off the team of
condoms that TLD sicced on him for about 150 notes. He looks around
and notices that some of the regulars are missing. He thinks for a
while on how some are missing......
"Oh my god! We forgot something!", The Joker says with a start.
Everyone casually looks at him and waits for him to show what his
revelation is....
"Where there's testicles, there's ......AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" The Joker
dives behind the bar and yells, "Nipples!!! Here they come!"
The Joker
================================================================================
Note 3.334 The Towne Pub 334 of 554
LEVVAX::BJL4009 "The time has come..." 11 lines 23-SEP-1993 11:46
-< kookookichoo >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just as the Walrus calmly enters the bar around and starts to look
around...
He slams the door behind him and smashes the first wave of nipples off
for a few notes, hopefully longer. Wally sidles up to the bar and asks
Sol for a small drink with LOTS of ice, to remind of his home, in the
faraway antarctic region of jupiter. Sol hands him a stein with an
iceberg in it, and the Walrus goes over to a corner of the bar and sits
down at a table that seems to be unoccupied. He waves to friend
Sceadeau and then immerses himself (figuratively) in his drink.
================================================================================
Note 3.335 The Towne Pub 335 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 5 lines 23-SEP-1993 13:39
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol gives the Walrus a glass of frozen llamanaede. Unfortunately,
it is COMPLETELY solid, and the Walrus has to chop it with his tusks.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.336 The Towne Pub 336 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 20 lines 23-SEP-1993 15:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alf, being the pig that he is, suddenly realizes that he never
OFFICIALLY proposed to Wokie (Ewokie's twin...remember...he had been
going with Ewokie, not Wokie, but I guess he is trying to piss her off.
In any case, the plot thickens...)
He gets on bended knee and looks up at his hairy comrade...
"Wokie Wookie Pagan...will you marry me?"
Wokie, with tears in her eyes and snot coming out of her nose, chokes
out..."Yes!"
Sol, with tears in his eyes, yells "Drinks for everyone! On the House!
I'll get the ladder!"
Ewokie and Tas console eachother.
================================================================================
Note 3.337 The Towne Pub 337 of 554
LEVVAX::KAB8121 "WINDOWS TO THE SOUL" 8 lines 23-SEP-1993 15:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
vampiress walked into the towne pub.. sat at the counter.. and told
the bartender.. "i'd like malibu (rum) with orage juice.. "
then as the bartender went to fix her a drink.. vampiress brought out
her sketchbook and did a couple drawings.. "
vampiress
================================================================================
Note 3.338 The Towne Pub 338 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 10 lines 23-SEP-1993 16:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Etrigan walks over to BloOdShEd and Twink.
"If you really want a drink, try this." and he hands BloOdShEd a
tall glass.
BloOdShEd, still leery, asks what it is.
"It's a Pan Galactic Garggleblaster. I got the recipe from this
guy with two heads when I bought the engine for my ship. They're
pretty good, but be careful. Don't drink it too fast. The last guy
who did is still floating around in orbit."
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.339 The Towne Pub 339 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 14 lines 23-SEP-1993 17:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz grabs another bottle of tequila.
"To Wokie and Alf.... may they always have LEV and love on their side."
With that, she gulps down a large dose of tequila and leaps onto a
table to do the "Happy Happy Joy Joy Dance" in celebration. She then
notices Ewokie from her vantage point.
"Sorry about Alf, kid..."she says as she leaps off the bar and gives
Ewokie a hug. "There's always cheesecake."
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.340 The Towne Pub 340 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 6 lines 23-SEP-1993 17:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie hugs Liz back, and produces a cheesecake from her armpit. "Want
some?" She waves it in Liz's direction.
================================================================================
Note 3.341 The Towne Pub 341 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 10 lines 23-SEP-1993 17:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Uh, pass, thanks... just had some."
Liz
(Cheesecake vs Men....
I'm always satisfied after
I have cheesecake...)
================================================================================
Note 3.342 The Towne Pub 342 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 7 lines 23-SEP-1993 18:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, heart-broken, eats the cheesecake all by herself.
'swokie strips down to nothing and runs around the bar, cackling.
Wokie and Alf make out.
================================================================================
Note 3.343 The Towne Pub 343 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 9 lines 23-SEP-1993 18:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz produces more cheesecake... with pineapples, just for Ewokie, then
whips up some with strawberries and whipped cream for herself.
"Argh," she sighs.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.344 The Towne Pub 344 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 15 lines 23-SEP-1993 19:22
-< Ho ho! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suddenly, in through the door in a puff of margerine comes...
CHEESECAKE MAN!
"Ho ho!" says CheeseCake Man, with his rippling Hi-Cal muscles,
"Wherever there is CheeseCake, there is...
CHEESECAKE MAN!
"He's not just a man... he's not just CheeseCake... He's...
CHEESECAKE MAN!
CheeseCake Man
================================================================================
Note 3.345 The Towne Pub 345 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 3 lines 23-SEP-1993 19:35
-< Don't be so perverted!\ >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie runs over to him and starts to eat him out.
================================================================================
Note 3.346 The Towne Pub 346 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 8 lines 23-SEP-1993 19:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz pinches herself to see if she is dreaming. When she realizes she
isn't, she figures it is a cheesecake induced hallucination and drinks
some more tequila.
Liz
(trippin')
================================================================================
Note 3.347 The Towne Pub 347 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 9 lines 23-SEP-1993 19:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CheeseCake man's body just swells with more of the tasty yellow batter,
as his tastiness re-fills every hole eaten into him.
"Yes, yes... I'm quite a guy, and tasty, too! Come one, come all!
And help yourselves to...
CHEESECAKE MAN!
CheeseCake Man
================================================================================
Note 3.348 The Towne Pub 348 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 23-SEP-1993 19:39
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Criminey!" says Ash-Sol, who is dressed now in standard Jeans and
a T-shirt of a popular metal band, "CheeseCake Man is now officially
cool!"
Ash-Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.349 The Towne Pub 349 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 4 lines 23-SEP-1993 19:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz takes a nap.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.350 The Towne Pub 350 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Blade Runner" 7 lines 23-SEP-1993 19:53
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHAT AN ENDING!! THATS FUNNY
"Liz takes a nap!" HAHAHAHAHAHA
--Laughtstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.351 The Towne Pub 351 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"HAHAHAHAHAHA," says Ash-Sol.
Little Banjo slaps him upside the head with a pool stick, for he has
scared off Jessica Rabbit.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.352 The Towne Pub 352 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 9 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:00
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz sits up for a moment, takes another sip of tequila, looks over at
Cheesecake Man, who has not vanished yet, looks at the tequila, and
pushes it away.
Then falls back to sleep.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.353 The Towne Pub 353 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 "BloOdShEd" 6 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BloOdShEd gulps it down. He's hyper now! There's no telling what he
will do now! In a single bound he jumps onto the bar and starts
singing "All 4 Love" to the tramp in the corner, who he has no idea is.
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.354 The Towne Pub 354 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 10 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alf wants to get busy, but Wokie tells him to save it for their wedding
night.
"Sol" asks Alf, "how are the plans coming along?"
================================================================================
Note 3.355 The Towne Pub 355 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 13 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:06
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm workin' on it, Alf!" says Sol... "The guy wants to know what
yer last name is."
"Chumway," says Alf, "Tell him it's Gordon Chumway."
"Chumway?" laughs Sol, "Okay... Gordon Alfred Chumway."
"Actually," says Alf, "it stands for Alien Life Form. Don't spread
it around okay? I got enough problems with the Alien Task Force as it
is."
"Okay," says Sol, and asks Wokie what kind of band they should
get... "I hear we can get Guns 'n' Roses, Faith No More, or Don Henley.
We can probably get some more, too, but we need a deposit."
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.356 The Towne Pub 356 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 10 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz raises her head.
"Aerosmith!"
She nestles back down and sleeps some more.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.357 The Towne Pub 357 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 4 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit looks over at Cheesecake man, not believing what he sees. Just
to check, he tosses his bottole of Zima at Cheesecake man and it sinks
right in! Gerrit jumps off his barstool and runs over, jumping into
Cheesecake man to retrieve his beloved Zima bottle.
================================================================================
Note 3.358 The Towne Pub 358 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 5 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, hey!" shouts CheeseCake Man at Gerrit, "Don't get your filthy
saliva in the cheesecake! Use a fork, for cripes sake!"
CheeseCake Man
================================================================================
Note 3.359 The Towne Pub 359 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 11 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, all of CheeseCake's Man's body is soaked in Zima... he returns
the empty bottle to Gerrit with a hiccup, smelling faintly of Vodka.
"Ho ho!" says CheeseCake Man, "I'm gonna be Popular tonight!"
Because CheeseCake Man has the best attributes of both Man and
Cheesecake, he turns himself into a giant slab of Cheesecake on a
plate, which has much less of an Ego.
CHEESECAKE MAN
================================================================================
Note 3.360 The Towne Pub 360 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 13 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wokie thinks it over..."John Denver...definitely!"
'swokie goes up to her and slaps her.
"On second thought...Guns N Roses sound good..."
Ewokie
================================================================================
Note 3.361 The Towne Pub 361 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 4 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, happy to have his beloved Zima bottle back, slowly hobbles back
to the counter and asks for a sixth to add to his collection for the
night...
================================================================================
Note 3.362 The Towne Pub 362 of 554
LEVVAX::VPM0500 "DarkShadow is here..." 7 lines 23-SEP-1993 20:47
-< ...Here is a new guy! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Darky steps into this strange place. He gazes around but everyone
seems too drunk to notice him. He walks to the bar. "Beer, please.
Make it five. I am very depressed now."
The bartender looks at this strange guy who wears black clothes. He
shrugged, deciding not to bother this guy. Black color is bad luck.
DS gulps down the beer, and in no time, becomes drunk. Grunting
happily, he drifts into his dreams.
================================================================================
Note 3.363 The Towne Pub 363 of 554
LEVVAX::VPM0500 "DarkShadow is Sleeping for now..." 1 line 23-SEP-1993 20:58
-< ...SNORING... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ................
================================================================================
Note 3.364 The Towne Pub 364 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "Not Guilty" 6 lines 23-SEP-1993 22:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jd leans over the bar and drapes a large paisley cloth over the
strange, sleeping man in black. "The things that roll into this
place, jeez. Hey, Ash-Sol, how 'bout tossin' me a piece of that
cheesecake?"
jd
================================================================================
Note 3.365 The Towne Pub 365 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "WENCH!!!" 12 lines 23-SEP-1993 23:09
-< icky poo >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz's head rises.
"Cheesecake?" She looks over and sees that pesky cheesecake and
tequila induced hallucination, and falls back to sleep.
As she sleeps, she begins to mumble.
Whilest not every word is understood, "cowtongue" is distinctly
decipherable.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.366 The Towne Pub 366 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 4 lines 24-SEP-1993 00:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ash-Sol cuts a big piece of CheeseCake Man for jd.
Ash-Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.367 The Towne Pub 367 of 554
LEVVAX::TAK0430 "Semper Fidelis" 20 lines 24-SEP-1993 10:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Indy walks toward to the door... door opens in with a loud noise..
*light shines in from behind Indy's back* people are squinting trying
to figure out who the heck is the guy at the door.... The silhoutte
figure moves in and allows the door close behind....
"Holllllyyyyyyy toooolllleeeedddooo" mumurs the crowd...
Ewokie looks at Tas, Fnord, Spiffy, etc... says "It is really Indy
after the long absence"
Indy moves toward to the bar and askes for
"Kamikaze please"...
Lookin'g at Ewokie.... "hiya kiddo... I know I've lost touched with
everyone... here... but ya know me Indy.. and I had bunch of crazy
cronies hot on my tails. Also I got stuck in many boobie traps but
cheated death so many times. I've had it.. I'm gonna stop the treasure
hunting for now!!"
================================================================================
Note 3.368 The Towne Pub 368 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 4 lines 24-SEP-1993 10:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Spiffy and Sonja are on vacation in Ocapocco)
ADMIN
================================================================================
Note 3.369 The Towne Pub 369 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 20 lines 24-SEP-1993 11:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol, who has adopted the role of Wedding-Coordinator, is on the
phones, which are ringing off the hook.
Aerosmith walks in the door... "Did we hear someone's havin' a
wedding?" They start playing "Love in an Elevator."
Guns 'n' Roses walks in next, and Axl starts competing for
lime-light, singing a mix of "November Rain," "You could be Mine," and
"Don't Cry."
Then Criss Cross comes in and starts jumping around. Little Banjo
motions to Ash-Sol. "Come on! Let's kick the $%&* outta them!"
"Kick $%&*," says Ash-Sol, as his T-shirt changes back and forth
between Guns 'N' Roses and Aerosmith.
"Pope on Line 3, Sol," says Tas, who happened to be by the
lounge-phone, "And he's calling collect from the Vatican!"
"Collect, huh?" says Sol, "Hang up. Tell him to call back on his
own plan."
Sol just shrugs. "A good minister is so hard to find."
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.370 The Towne Pub 370 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "ByMyselfButNotAlone/IAskNoOne" 6 lines 24-SEP-1993 11:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As Tas hangs up, he hears the Pope in the background.
"I thought I called the Town Pub, but he answered 'Satan, who in
hell do you want?'. Perhaps my brothers, we should go visit this Pub."
"Pope's on his way." Tas yells at no one in particular.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.371 The Towne Pub 371 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Where's the toast?" 14 lines 24-SEP-1993 12:00
-< Wake me up when something cool happens... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Poops on the way?" McDuff said quizically. "We won't be needin'
any of that here! Tell them we don't want any!"
With that, he jumped off the barstool and stumbled over to the
jukebox. Fumbling in his pockets, he fished out a quarter and popped
it in. Squinting at the song titles for a moment, he stabbed at a few
buttons, then returned to his seat.
Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf began blaring through the
speakers. McDuff smiled and leaned back in his chair, until he
realized he was on a barstool. He did a most ungracious backflip onto
the floor, lnding with an audible thump, and began snoring immediately.
--Cav
================================================================================
Note 3.372 The Towne Pub 372 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 4 lines 24-SEP-1993 12:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol shrugs and falls asleep.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.373 The Towne Pub 373 of 554
LEVVAX::VPM0500 "DarkShadow is Sleeping for now..." 6 lines 24-SEP-1993 13:10
-< What a rude Awakening.. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Darky jerks from his pleasant dreams as he hears the blaring hell of
noisy music, followed with a thump. He looks around, irritated and
goggled, trying to remember how in the world he has got here in a crazy
bar in nowhere. He has a glimpse of a memory that he had flew from an
island, Vaxlandia to forget about all those violence which a crazy man
and his crazy android seems very keen to prolong instead to stop.
================================================================================
Note 3.374 The Towne Pub 374 of 554
LEVVAX::VPM0500 "DarkShadow is Sleeping for now..." 1 line 24-SEP-1993 13:11
-< Nah.. Pleasure is good.. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Darky grunts and falls asleep into his pleasure world.
================================================================================
Note 3.375 The Towne Pub 375 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 4 lines 24-SEP-1993 13:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hearing that the Pope is on the way, Gerrit stumbles over to the
entrance of the pub, smashing all of his precious Zima bottles all over
the ground in front of the pub to block off the Pope from entering, and
to keep the two awesome bands in.
================================================================================
Note 3.376 The Towne Pub 376 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "I'm a Valkyrie! Tee HEE!" 12 lines 24-SEP-1993 13:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz awakens when she hears Aerosmith and Guns and Roses singing "Magic
Carpet Ride" along with the jukebox. Deciding at last that NOTHING
could make her hallucinate THIS much, she greets Cheesecake Man and
grabs a piece, munching away and dancing with the band. When she hears
mention of the Pope, she laughs and says in a sinister voice....
"Wait'll he gets a load of me!"
Liz
Certified Wench
Phenomenally Lapsed Roman-Catholic
================================================================================
Note 3.377 The Towne Pub 377 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 7 lines 24-SEP-1993 14:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie runs to help Sol kick the #$@% out of Criss Cross (sp?) and
gives Indy a hug on the way there... "Hey kiddo...missed ya!" 'swokie
yells..."The pope better not be coming here...they make me break out in
hives." Wokie continues to look dreamily at Alf, who looks like he
might be in love with Cheesecake man.
================================================================================
Note 3.378 The Towne Pub 378 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 4 lines 24-SEP-1993 15:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CheeseCake Man turns into a big, 3-story CheeseCake Wedding Cake.
CHEESECAKE MAN
================================================================================
Note 3.379 The Towne Pub 379 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "No...we're not lovers..." 5 lines 24-SEP-1993 15:39
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wokie realizes she doesn't have a bridal dress or veil (being the
virgin that she is) and is frantic. The invitations haven't been
sent, everything is hectic...
================================================================================
Note 3.380 The Towne Pub 380 of 554
LEVVAX::KAB8121 "WINDOWS TO THE SOUL" 7 lines 24-SEP-1993 16:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
vampiress.. after she finished her drink.. (she saw the commotion
with all these music groups.. ) got to the pay phone and called her
friends.. known as Primus..
vampiress..
================================================================================
Note 3.381 The Towne Pub 381 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Where's the toast?" 10 lines 24-SEP-1993 17:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McDuff rose unsteadily and stumbled over to Ewokie who was frazzled
about the upcoming wedding.
"Exscuse me lassie," he said, tottering slightly. "But my daughter
was going to be married a few months ago when tragically, I backed over
her in me backhoe. She was a good lass, bless her soul. But now she's
gone, and she never used her wedding dress. Your about her size, so I
was wondering if ye might care to try it on.
Handing her a box, he fell asleep again.
================================================================================
Note 3.382 The Towne Pub 382 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Kender Valkries from Outer Space!" 10 lines 24-SEP-1993 22:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz, lambada-ing with Axl Rose, overhears Wokie's plight, and comes to
check out the contents of the box.
"If you don't like that one, I could try to magic you up one..." she
offers.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.383 The Towne Pub 383 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 21 lines 25-SEP-1993 12:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD looks outside and sees a swarm of nipples waiting to be let in...
He asks Sol for one of his many phones...
"Hello? hello.. Is this Fruit-of-the-Loom? Okay.. I need about 1000
bras sent over here; I'm at the Towne Pub on the corner of Vax and Lev.
Okay.. I can wait..
-elevator music-
Hello? Yes. *Hey, Sol? Do you have $20 to spare? It'll keep ya from
another disaster. (Sol hands TLD $20.)*
yes, I have the cash.
Okay... an hour? Okay. Thank you;"
TLD hangs up the phone and awaits the arrival of the FOTL Truck.
~
================================================================================
Note 3.384 The Towne Pub 384 of 554
LEVVAX::VPM0500 "DarkShadow is here!" 23 lines 25-SEP-1993 14:05
-< Happy wedding! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DarkShadow wakes to the commotion going on in the Pub. He grumbles and
mumbles. Then he stops when he learns that a furry gentle lady is in
need of a wedding dress and preparation.
"Excuse me."
He walks to the furry lady and hands over a shiny purple emerald.
"This emerald is a magic stone and it will grant your one and only one
wish. I used to have a bride like you. She gave me that stone to
fulfill our wish to keep our love forever but before we are about to
make the wish, she...got killed. Then I got plans to use the stone
wish to get back the killer by using Vaxlandia's magic. But overtaking
the land is not important. Love is important. Best wishes to your
marriage. Adios."
DArkShadow turns and goes out of the Pub. He pauses to look up at the
clear night sky and at a very bright star. "I'm sorry, Kathu'an, but I
cannot use our wish to make violence. Vaxlandia is for peace not for
violence. There is only one way. The Enigma Quadrant. I promise to
get the killer and see to that he suffers more than he can imagine.
"Here I come, Enigma Quadrant!"
DArkShadow makes complex gestures toward the stars and toward the
Enigma Quadrant. Lightnings suddenly envelopes him. He vanishs into a
fiery blue ball of fire. The ball hovers for a minute and then flys
over the Pub, circling around a few times. It then zooms toward the
stars. It eventually becomes a lonely shooting star.
================================================================================
Note 3.385 The Towne Pub 385 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 10 lines 25-SEP-1993 15:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink, after being distracted by all the comotion, the wedding, the
misic, the nipples, and a couple day worth of homework, turns back to
BloOdShEd (who is now slightly drunk from the Pan-Galactic
Gargleblaster) and tells his what is in his bottle.
"It's a super condenced Garglebalster. It's equivalent to an entire
case of the regular ones. Try it."
He hands the bottle to BloOdShEd.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.386 The Towne Pub 386 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Butt-Munch" 6 lines 25-SEP-1993 20:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wokie takes the wedding dress from the sleeping backhoe murderer and
proceeds to the bathroom to try it on. Liz continues to tell Ewokie
that she can magic up a dress for Wokie if she want's it. 'swokie is
looking for Tas, to ask him for a date...
================================================================================
Note 3.387 The Towne Pub 387 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "We're off to NeverNeverLand" 8 lines 25-SEP-1993 20:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas is making prank calls to lawyers offices.
"What about you? Yes, i wanna sue you. I'm trying top explain
here, I was drunk, i hit people. Punitive damages. Yes you. Everyone
there. Can i sue who you represent?" Tas looks at the phone, "He hung
up on me. Hmmmph."
Tas heads to the bar for another ale.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.388 The Towne Pub 388 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Butt-Munch" 7 lines 25-SEP-1993 20:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie goes up to Tas...."hey there..wanna go jump someone?"
Ewokie
================================================================================
Note 3.389 The Towne Pub 389 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "We're off to NeverNeverLand" 6 lines 25-SEP-1993 20:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What for? I'm kinda like the A-team, ya gotta have a good reason.
If you do, he's toast. I'll build a cannon out of these straws and
napkins." Tas leans against the bar, sipping his ale.
"So, what did he/she/it do?"
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.390 The Towne Pub 390 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 18 lines 25-SEP-1993 21:02
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol is serving the drinks, much as usual... he turns around, as if
he heard something. He tries to ignore it and goes on.
"Hey, Tas, what's the deal with the pope, here? What?"
Tas yells something, but Sol is distracted again. Sol stares out
the window oddly, disconnected. "I have to go..." he hands the bar
back to BoozeFlingin' Mike, who has just now showed up.
"No problemo, Dude!" yells the green-guy, "no problemo!"
Sol takes a last look at the bar, waves to the clientelle, and
walks out the door.
"Hey!" yells Little Banjo, somehow uneasy, "what about -us-, Sol?"
Sol turns his head, responding under his breath to the halfling...
"stay if you want... I don't mind. It's up to you, now."
And he steps out.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.391 The Towne Pub 391 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Black Amethyst" 7 lines 26-SEP-1993 00:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, surprised to not see the Pope come in yet, and very happy
to hear many people groan and scream as they enter and exit the bar
(broken Zima bottles) is content with what is going on. As his head
starts to daze, he hears something about jumping someone, and hides
under the barstool.
================================================================================
Note 3.392 The Towne Pub 392 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "Butt-Munch" 6 lines 26-SEP-1993 16:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wokie starts to feel depressed because no one thought to throw her a
bridal shower.
================================================================================
Note 3.393 The Towne Pub 393 of 554
LEVVAX::TAK0430 "Semper Fidelis" 24 lines 26-SEP-1993 16:38
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Indy... seeing that Ewokie is depressed...
*clap*... "May I have your attention you all inept people!"
*bellowing* "Don't ya realized that it's a special day for Ewokie"
*continues bellow*.. "Where's the goddamn respect... we
we're supposed throw a freakin'
shower!!! Dammit"
*people scurrying around*
Everyone is trying to find sumthang nearby of nice... bartender
throws the streamers to people to hang up, white table cloth being set
up, classical music being played.. everyone trying to wrap up the
present with paper they have nearby but nice decent wrapper...
Indy stands there as if he's the maestro of his first concerto
sonata. *smiling with pride that people are listening to him*
*takin' a bow to Ewokie* "My friend... I tried my best... and
always be happy!" *giving her a long good hug...*
indy
================================================================================
Note 3.394 The Towne Pub 394 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "We're off to NeverNeverLand" 6 lines 26-SEP-1993 17:29
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas walks up to Indy and taps him on the shoulder.
"Ewokie ain't getting married, Wokie is. Throwing a shower for
Ewokie is pretty pointless then, yes no?" Tas finishes off his ale and
goes to find to 'swokie.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.395 The Towne Pub 395 of 554
LEVVAX::TAK0430 "Semper Fidelis" 6 lines 26-SEP-1993 17:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Tas... listen... betta throw it for Ewokie so she doesn't hit the roof
or anything... let's make sure she's happy or whatever".... Then later
on she'll thank us for making her day. All right.. I don't wanna put
up with this blaming part later. how's dat??"
indy
================================================================================
Note 3.396 The Towne Pub 396 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Suga-Tush has spoken" 17 lines 26-SEP-1993 18:10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And from the ceiling came crashing down....
A phone booth?
"How's it hangin' bar dudes?" Asked Bill S. Preston Esq.
"Alright. Look. It's the infamous Sol, dude." Ted Theodor Logon
"Hey, Axl--alright man, how's it goin?" Asked Bill.
"Listen. We are here on an _important_ mission. We need the
oversee-er of the universe here, Alf, and like, the most important Sol
dude to come with us for a most fabulous time fixin' the universe."
"So, wanna go?" Asked Ted to Littler Banjo dressed up in the Alf
costume and Ash-Sol.
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.397 The Towne Pub 397 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 6 lines 27-SEP-1993 00:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suddenly, right beside the first, another phone booth appears. This
one has a blue light atop it and the words POLICE BOX across the top.
-ETRigan-
(Take it away, anyone)
================================================================================
Note 3.398 The Towne Pub 398 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh Fantasy.... FREE ME!" 12 lines 27-SEP-1993 00:42
-< :) >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz ceases to lambada with Axl and screams.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I GIVE UP! The bar is fixed
for a couple of hours, and what happens??? Oooogh!" With that, she
grabs a bottle of tequila, takes a slug, and sighs.
"I'm getting too old for this @##$!"
Liz
Flustered Repairkender
================================================================================
Note 3.399 The Towne Pub 399 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Cocky Gerrit" 6 lines 27-SEP-1993 07:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, noticing the big blue light, asks if they have a blue light
special today. Then he realizes that this isn't K-mart and throws his
Zima in hand at the second phone booth...
Gerrit
================================================================================
Note 3.400 The Towne Pub 400 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 4 lines 27-SEP-1993 14:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker asks TLD how much longer until FOTL truck arrives because it
is now 400th note. The Joker no longer wants anything to do with any
part of the anatomy of a human being and wants to get drunk on the
happiness.
================================================================================
Note 3.401 The Towne Pub 401 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Cocky Gerrit" 5 lines 27-SEP-1993 14:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, never knowing that a FOTL truck was gonna arrive, is still
awaiting for the Pope to come and die from loss of blood from stepping
on the Zima bottle scatterings.
================================================================================
Note 3.402 The Towne Pub 402 of 554
LEVVAX::KAB8121 "WINDOWS TO THE SOUL" 20 lines 27-SEP-1993 15:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
vampiress, watching the whole commotion about ewkie's wedding.. took
out her sketchbook.. and began drawing furiously... not paying
attention to all those nipples.. and then suddenly, she saw a group
of men come into the room, she put down her sketchbook and came to
greet them.. "i'm vampiress, the one who called you... i thought you
could play your music and give them a change of scene.. see that short,
hairy girl over there? taht's ewokie, the bride for this wedding..
ok.. ? you readdy to play..?"
music group looked at each other, and said with a big smile,"
anything for you, vampiress.. " the lead singer gave her a bearhug and
a kiss.. and he asked.. do you have any drawings for us..? we'd like
to use your artwork on our cover of our new album.. "
vampiress face lit up .." sure, i do.. i'll show them to you
after the wedding.. we have lots to talk about.. " vampiress tehn
faced the whole crowd.. where the whole commotion was happening.. and
announced." may i present to you... a great band.. Primus!!!"
vampiress..
================================================================================
Note 3.403 The Towne Pub 403 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 22 lines 27-SEP-1993 20:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As The Joker speaks, the Fruit-Of-The-Loom truck pulls up outside with
1000 pairs of women's underwear. The nipples laugh their... *HEADS*
...off, and attack the truck; the underwear scream in terror, and start
flinging themselves at the delivery man, who is stunned; He's in
heaven... 10^10 nipples and no wife around... and 1000 pair of
underwear to boot. (Literally if he wants...)
TLD, seeing the underwear, calls the company again...
"I ordered BRAS, not UNDERWEAR, you idiots~!!!!!!!
Your delivery man is outside being attacked! YES I'll hold...
- Elevator Music -
Okay... yes... yes... a DAY???? I can't wait... I'm calling another
company... -click-"
"Hey, Ewokie, Liz... What companies make Braziers? We need 1000 of 'em."
~
================================================================================
Note 3.404 The Towne Pub 404 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh Fantasy.... FREE ME!" 7 lines 27-SEP-1993 22:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Call Fredrick's!"
Liz
Lingerie Lover
================================================================================
Note 3.405 The Towne Pub 405 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "We're off to NeverNeverLand" 4 lines 28-SEP-1993 10:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tas decides its time to leave. Gathering his stuff, he moves on
out the door, waving good bye to all his friends.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.406 The Towne Pub 406 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Mars Needs Women" 9 lines 28-SEP-1993 12:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McDuff glanced down at his watch.
"Good god," he exclaimed, racing for the door. "I'm late for me
next birthday party!" Taking one last swig of JD, he shot out the
door. The backhoe roared to life and it shot down the street out of
site.
--Cav
================================================================================
Note 3.407 The Towne Pub 407 of 554
LEVVAX::JMS3520 "Blade Runner" 4 lines 28-SEP-1993 13:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phantomstalker has now left the building
--Phantomstalker
================================================================================
Note 3.408 The Towne Pub 408 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Cocky Gerrit" 5 lines 28-SEP-1993 13:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, barely noticing the people leaving, wonders why the bar is so
empty. "Oh well" he mumbles, leaning over the bar, getting some shut
eye.
================================================================================
Note 3.409 The Towne Pub 409 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "My Name Is Mud!" 7 lines 28-SEP-1993 19:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie, fed up, gets a rocket launcher and proceeds to kill 'swokie and
Wokie and anyone else that trys to stop her.
Ewokie
================================================================================
Note 3.410 The Towne Pub 410 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 5 lines 28-SEP-1993 20:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Etrigan dodges a rocket, wondering why he can't get drunk on mortal
booze.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.411 The Towne Pub 411 of 554
LEVVAX::EMW2148 "BloOdShEd" 6 lines 28-SEP-1993 23:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People.......this The Towne Pub, not Enigma Quadrant!(or whatever its
kalled) You can't kill people here! Now...let's get back to the
normal Leving stories...
BloOdShEd
================================================================================
Note 3.412 The Towne Pub 412 of 554
LEVVAX::JKK7796 "THE MAD HATTER" 6 lines 29-SEP-1993 07:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the mad hatter slowly struggles out his drunken stupor in the corner
and crawls toward the door to barf outside...
the mad hatter
================================================================================
Note 3.413 The Towne Pub 413 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "G-strings are better than Q-tips" 8 lines 29-SEP-1993 11:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill And Ted look stupidly at Ash-Sol and Little Banjo dressed up in
the Alf costume.
Sceadeau is on the floor, looking at the pretty nipples, trying to find
the victoria's secret catalog. He finds a bottle of Jack Daniels and
looks at Ewokie with a gleam of humor in his eye.
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.414 The Towne Pub 414 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "My Name Is Mud!" 7 lines 29-SEP-1993 12:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie picks up a broom and chases Sceadeau around with it, because of
his attempts to be a smart aleck :)
Ewokie
================================================================================
Note 3.415 The Towne Pub 415 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Cocky Gerrit" 4 lines 29-SEP-1993 12:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, watching Ewokie have fun with Sceadeau, falls asleep again,
only to feel some kind of slap in the head from a hairy creature...
================================================================================
Note 3.416 The Towne Pub 416 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "My Name Is Mud!" 7 lines 29-SEP-1993 12:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...and the pull of hair as she slaps his face onto the table. The
effect makes him spew.
================================================================================
Note 3.417 The Towne Pub 417 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Cocky Gerrit" 6 lines 29-SEP-1993 12:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As Gerrit feels that well-known feeling, he spews all over the bar,
asking for seconds so that he can do it again. Thanking Ewokie for
the wonderful feeling, he returns to drinkin his Zima and sleeping all
day.
================================================================================
Note 3.418 The Towne Pub 418 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "G-strings are better than Q-tips" 7 lines 29-SEP-1993 13:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sceadeau decides to down the Jack Daniels instead of his original
intentions. He instantly turns into Apeman. He makes wild contorted
geustures with his body all the while saying "Smooth"
-- Apeman
================================================================================
Note 3.419 The Towne Pub 419 of 554
LEVVAX::AXP4796 "My Name Is Mud!" 6 lines 29-SEP-1993 15:19
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewokie goes to sceadeau and proceeds to wrestle for the Jack Daniels.
================================================================================
Note 3.420 The Towne Pub 420 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Victoria's secret is: she's a slut" 7 lines 29-SEP-1993 17:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apeman looks at Ewokie with a confused expression.
"Unhg?" he asked, intelegently, holding the bottle out to her.
-- Apeman
================================================================================
Note 3.421 The Towne Pub 421 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh Fantasy.... FREE ME!" 12 lines 29-SEP-1993 17:47
-< hasta la vista, baybee >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz finishes her Cuervo and stretches.
"Well.... gotta run for now... hafta find an appropriate bridesmaid
dress...."
With that, she walks out the door.
"Call me on the wedding day!"
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.422 The Towne Pub 422 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 4 lines 29-SEP-1993 20:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink goes up to the bar and orders a bottle of orange extract.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.423 The Towne Pub 423 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 4 lines 29-SEP-1993 22:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Then he changes his mind and asks for a pitcher of flurb.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.424 The Towne Pub 424 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Cocky Gerrit" 5 lines 30-SEP-1993 11:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, still rubbing the bump on his head from the blow from Ewokie,
is wondering when he will be so gratified to recieve another. Doubting
he ever will, he continues to down another Zima, and pocket the bottle.
================================================================================
Note 3.425 The Towne Pub 425 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 19 lines 30-SEP-1993 11:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz, Tas, MacDuff, and The Mad Hatter are all attacked as they leave
the bar by the relentless nipples.
TLD calls Fredrick's at Liz's suggestion, gets a low price and a quick
delivery (as the delivery man answered the phone) and hangs up...
Five minutes!!!! Liz is a genius! Too bad she's out there...
Suddenly, everyone can see Liz through the swarm of nipples as they
realize she's not male.
Everyone screams Hurray's.
The delivery truck comes, the guy opens the doors, and 1000 bras of
various sizes, colors, and fabrics begin to chase the nipples,
capturing them... The women begin to look for their favorite colors in
their size, as there are 1000 of them...
~
================================================================================
Note 3.426 The Towne Pub 426 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh Fantasy.... FREE ME!" 9 lines 30-SEP-1993 12:17
-< just teasin' >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz manages to stop her comrades from chasing the nipples down the
road.
;)
Liz
Horndog-catcher
================================================================================
Note 3.427 The Towne Pub 427 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 4 lines 30-SEP-1993 15:09
-< Ok, I am awake! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker finally emerges from the long hibernation of waiting out the
nipple attacks. He is red-eyed and smelling from lack of shower for
the past 26 notes. The Joker wonders out loud on where he could get a
shower without being indecent in front of the ladies....
================================================================================
Note 3.428 The Towne Pub 428 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Cocky Gerrit" 6 lines 30-SEP-1993 17:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, watching Liz stop her comrades from chasing the nipples,
wonders why she did so. He also wonders why the Joker just doesn't
shower behind the bar in beer. As he drifts off to sleep yet again,
Gerrit spills another bottle of Zima all over himself...
================================================================================
Note 3.429 The Towne Pub 429 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh industry...." 9 lines 30-SEP-1993 22:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz enters the bar, notices the fetid smell drifting off the Joker, and
grabs a bottle of seltzer water.
"One shower, coming right up!" she yells and hoses him liberally with
the bottle.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.430 The Towne Pub 430 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 3 lines 1-OCT-1993 15:08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker is surprised and tries to go with the punch, but fails and
falls right over. Liz continues to dump the water on the unconscious
Joker.
================================================================================
Note 3.431 The Towne Pub 431 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh industry...." 5 lines 1-OCT-1993 18:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Much better!" she exclaims, placing the seltzer water behind the bar
and wiping her hands on her skirt.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.432 The Towne Pub 432 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 15 lines 3-OCT-1993 12:17
-< This may be strange, but I am strange anyway! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker wakes up, drenched in a pool of liquid. He wonders if he had
lost control of his bodily functions, so he sniffs the liquid and
decides that he had not. He gets up and looks around and gasps in
shock, "I'm a strange man in a strange room in a strange topic!" He
wonders strangely if he has lost all of his memories and thinks it is
strange to do that. He looks at all the strange people doing all the
strange things and exhibiting strange behaviors in this strange topic,
for some strange reason, called The Towne Pub. He thinks out loud if
it would be strange for this strange person to ask strange questions to
strangers.
The Stranger
P.S. Whew! What a strange statement I make!
================================================================================
Note 3.433 The Towne Pub 433 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 6 lines 3-OCT-1993 15:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink states a question at nobody in perticular, but hopes for an
answer anyway.
"Who is this strange person?"
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.434 The Towne Pub 434 of 554
LEVVAX::JED5755 16 lines 3-OCT-1993 20:58
-< Music Never Stop. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHY are Sol Heumann's elevators so afraid to down to the basement ?
( my first entry since my intro, Cool......Today is a HAPPY day. )
Deak.
================================================================================
Note 3.435 The Towne Pub 435 of 554
LEVVAX::JED5755 10 lines 3-OCT-1993 21:07
-< World Leader Pretend. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
QUESTION: DALY DOUBLE !!!!!!!!
What is the missing word in the last sentence ?
( please put the answer in question form....Ex: What is ______ )
Deak.
================================================================================
Note 3.436 The Towne Pub 436 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 9 lines 3-OCT-1993 23:45
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*** I do believe that the last few notes are misplaced....
~
As the nipples are gobbled by the bras, all the men watch with glee,
hoping to get ahold of one of the bras after the event is over.
~
================================================================================
Note 3.437 The Towne Pub 437 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 4 lines 3-OCT-1993 23:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So do the women, hoping also that they can get one their size in the
silk.
~
================================================================================
Note 3.438 The Towne Pub 438 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Cocky Gerrit" 5 lines 4-OCT-1993 07:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, still depressed from not receiving another boot to the head by
Ewokie and still drenched in Zima, ponders the thought of why someone
was posting "WHY?" questions and Trivia questions on the pub door.
================================================================================
Note 3.439 The Towne Pub 439 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh industry...." 10 lines 4-OCT-1993 12:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz, tucking a red silk bra into her back pocket, pulls out a pencil
and answers both questions. Unfortunately, she wrote them in kender,
so only Tas would get it.
With that, she grabs another bottle of tequila and a barstool and
proceeds to down a large gulp.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.440 The Towne Pub 440 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Sceadeau and Suga-Tush" 8 lines 4-OCT-1993 13:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apeman's eyes flicker as he stealthily tromps on over to Liz's back
pocket and starts fishing around for the red silk bra.
-- Apeman
================================================================================
Note 3.441 The Towne Pub 441 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 7 lines 4-OCT-1993 13:07
-< Still strange, isn't it? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The strange man looks around and sees some strange notes being posted
by a stranger and wonders strangely why that stranger is putting them
in the wrong strange topic. The strange man wonders out loud, "Does
that stranger knows that he is posting strange notes in the wrong
strange topic? How strange!"
The Strange Man
================================================================================
Note 3.442 The Towne Pub 442 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "Gone Troppo!" 3 lines 4-OCT-1993 13:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Strangely enough, no one else notices any of the last post at all,
and the constant intoxication continues.
================================================================================
Note 3.443 The Towne Pub 443 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Just need a little luv..." 5 lines 5-OCT-1993 08:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, still bored to death, wonders why no one is giving him a
boot to the head, and why no one is doing anything. "I guess they all
want to be like me then," he proclaims.
================================================================================
Note 3.444 The Towne Pub 444 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh industry...." 10 lines 5-OCT-1993 13:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz !@#$%-slaps Apeman for even thinking about coming near her back
pocket.
"Hands off, buster!" she declares loudly, hand on hip.
Liz
(Not one to be pickpocketed)
================================================================================
Note 3.445 The Towne Pub 445 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 3 lines 5-OCT-1993 17:36
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Etrigan puts the Frantics on the jukebox for Gerrit.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.446 The Towne Pub 446 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Just need a little luv..." 5 lines 5-OCT-1993 20:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, hearin the music, jumps up alert as ever, then plops back down
onto the floor, missing the stool, shatterin his Zima bottle all over
the floor and his face as he smiles at the sight of his own bloody face
================================================================================
Note 3.447 The Towne Pub 447 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 6 lines 5-OCT-1993 22:50
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink runs over to the jukebox and removes that garbage and replaces it
with something good. Like Jim Kweskin and the Jugband.
"That's better." he says with satisfaction.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.448 The Towne Pub 448 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 16 lines 5-OCT-1993 23:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doo Doo, Do Do.
Way down south, way down in Borneo,
There's a wild dance called the Borneo,
Way down, in Borneo Bay,
Ba ba ba ba ba, ba bum.
Even if you've go.....
Etrigan covers his ears to avoid listening to the god-awful noise,
knowing that if he hears it, he will be compelled to sing along.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.449 The Towne Pub 449 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh industry...." 6 lines 5-OCT-1993 23:41
-< ack >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz shoots the jukebox, then magics up a new one. "I'd Do Anything For
Love (But I won't do that)" plays at full blast.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.450 The Towne Pub 450 of 554
LEVVAX::BRC8940 "Houdini" 5 lines 6-OCT-1993 13:54
-< I m back..... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just then Houdini enter's the bar and gives Liz a hug...
"Why Liz....how did you know I liked meatloaf?"
Houdini the man who
can't esape lev...
================================================================================
Note 3.451 The Towne Pub 451 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Oh industry...." 8 lines 6-OCT-1993 19:38
-< ack! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Lucky guess?"
Liz
The woman who can't
escape Houdini.
================================================================================
Note 3.452 The Towne Pub 452 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Sceadeau and Suga-Tush" 6 lines 7-OCT-1993 12:16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apeman, after being smacked in the face, realized that the physical
power and prowess tht Liz projected would make Liz an ideal mate. He
went for the silk bra again.
-- Apeman
================================================================================
Note 3.453 The Towne Pub 453 of 554
LEVVAX::BRC8940 "Houdini" 14 lines 7-OCT-1993 17:00
-< Like a bat out of hell >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Houdini throws Liz her whip..with a sheepish grin says "Show Apeman your
whip.." Houdini then goes to the bar to order a
drink..."BARTENDER! Wine cooler please..." Houdini pays the bartender for
his and turns around to see if Liz will use her whip on Apeman..
"This should be good.." Houdini downs the wine cooler..and enjoys
the music. "Meatloaf kicks butt" he thinks to himself.
Houdini the rocking escape artist.
================================================================================
Note 3.454 The Towne Pub 454 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Colds Suck. *sniff*" 6 lines 7-OCT-1993 19:56
-< !@@hole >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz, getting slightly peeved at this molestation against her will,
rises, pays her tab, and leaves.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.455 The Towne Pub 455 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 4 lines 7-OCT-1993 20:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All the guys have a short brawl with Apeman for doing bad things with
Liz's back pocket.
~
================================================================================
Note 3.456 The Towne Pub 456 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Just need a little luv..." 4 lines 7-OCT-1993 21:58
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Then the rest of the guys decide to have a LONG brawl with him
forgetting that deciding doesn't do much and action usually helps..
================================================================================
Note 3.457 The Towne Pub 457 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 9 lines 8-OCT-1993 01:32
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink, who is not fighting even though he's a guy, sits back and looks
at the guys. Then looks at Liz walking out. Then looks back at the
guys. Then looks at the bartender and orders another drink.
"Bye Liz!" he says as the she walks through the swinging doors.
"Just remember, it wasn't me!"
He finishes he drink and passes out on the counter.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.458 The Towne Pub 458 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Just need a little luv..." 5 lines 8-OCT-1993 02:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, watching the guys attempt to do something, but lack the
intelligence to do so, sits back and orders another Zima, tossing the
other bottle in front of the bar again.
================================================================================
Note 3.459 The Towne Pub 459 of 554
LEVVAX::BRC8940 "Houdini" 9 lines 8-OCT-1993 07:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Bye Liz.." as Houdini watches the brawl from a safe distance away....
"Come back and visit soon...hope your cold goes away.."
Houdini the guy who watches
fights but never gets in
them..
================================================================================
Note 3.460 The Towne Pub 460 of 554
LEVVAX::DCR3177 "The SmokeDuster hath returned!" 8 lines 8-OCT-1993 13:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Very smart Houdini, my old friend. People who get into these bar room
brawls, usually come out injured."
"Sorry to hear about your cold, Liz. I guess even kender get
colds. Hope it gets better."
Lt Charlemagne LeVour
(one who watches until the
fight gets interesting,
then leaves)
================================================================================
Note 3.461 The Towne Pub 461 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 10 lines 8-OCT-1993 14:52
-< 22 mentions of the word strange! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The strange man with the strange feelings churning strangely inside his
strange body decides to do something strange to cure his strange
disease and his strange yen for the word "strange." He gets on the
strange-looking bar and proceeds to dance in a strange mystical way.
The strange man notices strangely that he is no longer wet and decides
for some strange reason to break out into a strange-smelling sweat.
Strangely, the strange man doesn't notice the fight that started over
some strange reason and doesn't notice, also strangely, that he is
cutting himself doing that strange "break-dance" that involves all the
strangers' strange brews.
================================================================================
Note 3.462 The Towne Pub 462 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "Great solution, wrong problem" 3 lines 8-OCT-1993 21:24
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jd decides (strangely enough) to ignore the stranger and whip up a
pitcher of kamikazes. "Anybody got the thirst that kills?"
jd
================================================================================
Note 3.463 The Towne Pub 463 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Just need a little luv..." 3 lines 9-OCT-1993 19:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit slides down to the floor and slowly crawls out of the pub...
================================================================================
Note 3.464 The Towne Pub 464 of 554
LEVVAX::BRC8940 "comfortably numb" 30 lines 10-OCT-1993 07:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey Gerrit can I call a taxi for ya? You seem to be a bit under the
weather... "
Houdini then snaps his fingers and his assitant Bess appears from
nowhere and hands him the phone..
he dials....9 1 1 "yes sir what is the emegency?"
"We got a person named Gerrit nearly passed out on the floor..and
a few others who might have a fracture arm or two after a bar fight is
over..send a ambulence crew to intercept a the Town Pub please..."
Houdini hangs up..
Bess turns to Houdini...."Enrich my lev..we were suposed to practice
the locked trunk illusion for tommarow nights show...BUT NOOO!
You just sit arround ..the house and play x-men! I am sick of it.."
Houdini clasps his teleport amulet around his neck and sends her back
home...
Charlemagne looks at Houdini with a look of ..."Boy ..she is not
a happy camper..."
As if Houdini could see this he turns to him and says...19 th century
women ...can't live with em' pass the beer nuts.."
Houdini & Bess..
================================================================================
Note 3.465 The Towne Pub 465 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Just need a little luv..." 5 lines 11-OCT-1993 02:15
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gerrit, hearing Houdini mumble something into the phone about him,
decides that the floor is rather comfortable and procedes to fall to
sleep.
================================================================================
Note 3.466 The Towne Pub 466 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 22 lines 11-OCT-1993 22:42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD looks at the mess being created... and is sick of it...
"Here I thought VaxLandia was a mess!!!!! Boy!"
He suddenly separates into nothingness, and yet his presense is still
there (for those who can feel it.) The same kind of cloud embraces the
Town pub as it did VaxLandia. Everyone freezes in time...
The cloud brings itself together into one giant blob and goes from
person to person, taking all the evil away. Then, 1/3 of the cloud
leaves through the roof, and the rest re-forms into TLD.
"There!"
He snaps his fingers, and time restarts.
About five minutes later, the rest of the cloud returns and fills in
the missing parts of TLD... Nose, fingers, toes, ...., ears, .........,
..., etc.
Everyone feels a lot better now that evil exists no more...
~
================================================================================
Note 3.467 The Towne Pub 467 of 554
LEVVAX::DCR3177 "The SmokeDuster hath returned!" 1 line 11-OCT-1993 22:52
-< stupid humanoid >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
================================================================================
Note 3.468 The Towne Pub 468 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Sceadeau and Suga-Tush" 5 lines 12-OCT-1993 11:47
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apeman, injured beyond all recognition, dies.
-- Apeman
================================================================================
Note 3.469 The Towne Pub 469 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Lews Therrin Kinslayer" 6 lines 12-OCT-1993 12:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I AM SATAN!!!"
The voice rocks the town pub. The cloud and all its goodness gets
annihilated, destroying its master, TLD too.
Even god sighs in relief now that the troublemaker is gone.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.470 The Towne Pub 470 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 15 lines 12-OCT-1993 13:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I HAVE BROUGHT A NEW FRIEND!!" booms Satan, impressed with the loudness
of his own voice..."TREAT HIM AS YOU WILL"
With that, there is a breif flash of fire and Satan is gone. The wind
picks up, to the point that the howling gales force the doors of the
Pub open. In a flying torrent of debris, a jet-black bird of prey
hurls itself into the room...landing on a bar stool. Slowly, it
metamorphs into the figure of a man, dressed in black, with a
star-shaped pendant (right side up) around his neck.
"Call me RavenThorne", the figure insists, "And pass me some ale...I am
no friend of Satan's, he just thinks I am...."
With that he downs his drink....
================================================================================
Note 3.471 The Towne Pub 471 of 554
LEVVAX::CAS9140 "Pookie's Prime Henchman" 10 lines 12-OCT-1993 14:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
making a not-so-graceful entrance is a short, thin,
scraggly-lookin' little ball of fire. he boldly marches over to Satan
and in his characteristic, melodious voice says, "you red wanna-be
demon! got a problem, pinky?!"
with that he turns around and makes his exit just as suave and
silent as his entrance.
Satan, befuddled, looks around and says, "I'm insulted...gimme a
Killian's Pink...I mean RED!" he then mumbles to himself, "I have
never been so insulted in my life...er...death...er...existence...er...
WHATEVER!"
================================================================================
Note 3.472 The Towne Pub 472 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Sceadeau and Suga-Tush" 5 lines 12-OCT-1993 19:22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sceadeau finishes off his Jack Daniels and looks at Satan.
"Hey Satan, want to play ping-pong?"
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.473 The Towne Pub 473 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "They aren't THAT perky!" 8 lines 12-OCT-1993 22:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz bounces over to Satan.
"I love your outfit! It's so RED!" she cries, admiring the red satin
cape he wears.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.474 The Towne Pub 474 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 4 lines 12-OCT-1993 22:53
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The cloud returns, larger than death, and kills satan, sending the body
to the Enigma Quadrant.
~
================================================================================
Note 3.475 The Towne Pub 475 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Sceadeau and Suga-Tush" 4 lines 12-OCT-1993 23:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So, I'll, uh, take it as a maybe?"
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.476 The Towne Pub 476 of 554
LEVVAX::DCR3177 "The SmokeDuster hath returned!" 3 lines 12-OCT-1993 23:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.474 rep:
Jeff read post in 51.94. [admin: I think that it applies here]
Darren
================================================================================
Note 3.477 The Towne Pub 477 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 9 lines 12-OCT-1993 23:25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[admin: Satan is un-lev, and should be in the Enigma quadrant if he is
to appear here anyways.... He is creating evil, and so is now
destroyed.]
The cloud forms BACK into TLD, and the only difference he can feel is
that evil has been destroyed...
~
================================================================================
Note 3.478 The Towne Pub 478 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 7 lines 12-OCT-1993 23:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sol walks back into the bar, glancing behind him briefly, then
ahead.
"Hey! What's all this killing in my bar?" Specifically, he's
looking at Apeman's hairy corpse, as well as other assorted body parts.
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.479 The Towne Pub 479 of 554
LEVVAX::DCR3177 "The SmokeDuster hath returned!" 16 lines 12-OCT-1993 23:57
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Sol reenters the bar a brisk bone chilling wind blows in, bringing
with it a small crystal orb,which lands at the feet of Charlemagne who
picks it up and nonchalantly puts it on the bar table that he has been
sitting at.
The colors in the ball start to swirl and look like concentrated
chaos, but it is trapped inside.
[admin: i would very much for the man JEFF to leave this alone, and
someone else respond. the pub will not be damaged and its inhabitants
are safe,relatively. This will stay true iff Montegomery exercises
restraint, if not i will declare war]
Charlemagne
================================================================================
Note 3.480 The Towne Pub 480 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 15 lines 12-OCT-1993 23:59
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Satan's loud shouting wakens Twink.
"Who's shoutin' in here?" Twink says as he gets off the counter he
previously passed out on.
"Liz, when did you get back?"
"And when did we get a ping-pong table?"
Twink, looking very confused, goes over to shoot some darts.
He pulls them out of the board, backs up, and starts throwing.
First one, straight up into the ceiling. Second one, leaves his hand
backwards getting stuck into Apeman's dead body. Third one, direct
bullseye.
"Am I good or what?" he boasts to the people in the bar, hiccups,
and wobbles over to a table near the ping-pong table. He sits down.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.481 The Towne Pub 481 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 10 lines 13-OCT-1993 00:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ash-Sol jumps on the bandwagon.
"Who's shoutin'? And when did we get a Satan?"
Little Banjo waves a flag that says, "LEVLEVLEV" all over it. "I
say kill the &^(*er. If it's unlev, we should kill it. @!#$in' A,
breakin' the Holy *&%$ rules."
Ash-Sol
Little Banjo
================================================================================
Note 3.482 The Towne Pub 482 of 554
LEVVAX::BRC8940 "Houdini can't escape LEV" 34 lines 13-OCT-1993 09:08
-< Hic--up! >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Houdini just sips his OJ & vodka mixer and stares at the walls in the
pub...
"Gee when did the walls get painted green with yellow spots?"
"No..wait must be the booze because I see a guy in a red suit...nahhh
it's a halulusgenation..." he says as he speach begins to slur.
He passes out..
MEANWHILE...
Liz, Charlemaine, Tas, ash-sol, little-banjo and satan walk over to the passsed out
drunk Houdini. Liz takes his transporter amulet for safekeeping.
"Sorry Houdin ole' bud ..can't let this thing fall into the wrong
hands. When you sober up..you can have it back..."
"How many mixers did he drink?" Satan asked.
"way not to hold your liquor...what a dumb a$$.." Little-banjo snears.
"There is a man with a low tolerance one sip of mixer and his passed
out on the floor..must be very cheap for him to get drunk." Charlemangne
observed.
"Just call him a cab or somthin'." Tas offers.
"He needs a place to crash..." The bartender says in a concerned
tone..
Houdini
================================================================================
Note 3.483 The Towne Pub 483 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 7 lines 13-OCT-1993 12:39
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"man, this place is screwed...." With that the tall, dark-cloaked
stranger morphs back into the form of a Raven, and flies op to the
ceiling, perches, and just watches the goings on with an amused grin
(CAN Ravens grin?).....
raventhorne
================================================================================
Note 3.484 The Towne Pub 484 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Just need a little luv..." 5 lines 13-OCT-1993 12:58
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Gerrit, still sleeping on the floor, wakes up from the comotion, rubs
his sore back from Satan not noticing him, and plops his sore head back
on the floor, to fall asleep miserably again.
================================================================================
Note 3.485 The Towne Pub 485 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 8 lines 13-OCT-1993 14:31
-< Yes, strangely, I am hooked on "strange" >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The strange man still has no idea what is going on? He thinks it is
very strange how one person is killed, only to act as if he was never
killed in the first place. "How strange this strange place is!" says
the strange man in a strange-sounding voice. For no reason but his own
strange notion inside his brain operating in a strange method of
processing the new strange information, he asks Satan to give him
anything he wants in exchange for his strange soul. He awaits for
Satan's strange answer.
================================================================================
Note 3.486 The Towne Pub 486 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 9 lines 13-OCT-1993 15:11
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"So, hey, Satan," says Sol, surprised he isn't a dead corpse
anymore, "I've been meanin' to ask ya for a long time... why do you do
it? I mean the Evil bit and all... Hell, fire, snakes, all that. I
mean, I know ya think God gave ya a raw deal... I read "Paradise Lost,"
but don't ya think if ya loosen up a little that the Big Guy will cut
ya some slack here?"
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.487 The Towne Pub 487 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Lews Therin Kinslayer" 6 lines 13-OCT-1993 15:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God, being a nice guy at heart, offers to buy the Big Red Man a beer.
Satan grumbles.
"If he hadn't cheated on that poker game, none of this would have
happened." But he accepts.
================================================================================
Note 3.488 The Towne Pub 488 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Why am I here?" 14 lines 13-OCT-1993 16:42
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"Bartender; a drink for me and my colleague if you please.
Killian's Red," he stated flatly, winking at Satan out of the corner of
his eye. "In a can."
Ducking down behind the bar, the barkeep pulled a key on a silver
chain from around his neck. He fitted it onto a small fridge nestled
under the bar with a plaque on the front.
"MAJOR DIETIES ONLY", it read. He opened the door and pulled out
of pair of cans, sliding them across the bartop to God.
"Ahh...." Picking up his brew from off the bar, he popped the top
and took a big gulp.
"So old man," he said, giving Satan a slap on the back. "Whatcha
been up to the past few millenna?"
================================================================================
Note 3.489 The Towne Pub 489 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 6 lines 13-OCT-1993 16:49
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"God," says Sol, "I would just like to congratulate you on your
many excellent planets... Earth, Mercury, Uranus..."
Sol
================================================================================
Note 3.490 The Towne Pub 490 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 5 lines 13-OCT-1993 16:55
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Raven watches God and Satan intently, realizing that he had been
right from the begining...beer solves everything...
RaTh
================================================================================
Note 3.491 The Towne Pub 491 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 11 lines 13-OCT-1993 17:26
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Etrigan wanders over to play darts, wondering if Satan was going to try
to drag him back again. He trips over Twink's body, picks him up, and
carries him over to the ping-pong table.
Wiggling his fingers, Etrigan chants under his breath. Soon Twink
opens his eyes and looks around.
"Are you sober yet?" Etrigan asks?
"Yeah, I'm fine. What's your Dad doing here?"
"I told you once, He's not my dad. Let's play ping-pong."
So they start on ping-pong, or one of its many variations.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.492 The Towne Pub 492 of 554
LEVVAX::ENB1783 "The Smoking Philosopher" 7 lines 13-OCT-1993 18:34
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ed walks into the pub and sits in the corner furthest from the
door. Lighting a candle, and then his cigarette, he exhales softly
with a sound of immense depression. He removes from a leather pouch at
his side a notebook, pen, zippo, and a can of Drum handrolling tobacco.
He hestitates for a second, then he starts to write.
================================================================================
Note 3.493 The Towne Pub 493 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 9 lines 13-OCT-1993 18:39
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Banjo runs over to Ed.
"Whatcha writin'? Whatcha writin'?" He sees that it is something
deep and without pictures, and so turns around and leaves.
CheeseCake Man grows a little Bride and Groom decoration on top of
his wedding cheesecake form.
Little Banjo
CHEESECAKE MAN!
================================================================================
Note 3.494 The Towne Pub 494 of 554
LEVVAX::ENB1783 "The Smoking Philosopher" 6 lines 13-OCT-1993 18:48
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ed glances up to see what in the name of the seven dead gods of Babylon
just interrupted him. Being unable to find him/her/it, he lights
another cigarette and begins scanning the room for interesting people
to talk to.
================================================================================
Note 3.495 The Towne Pub 495 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 10 lines 13-OCT-1993 19:35
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Upon seeing someone else who shares his fondness for Drum tobacco, the
raven flies back down and morphs into the shape of a man. Sitting next
to Ed, he takes out HIS zippo (black of course) and hand-rolled
cigarette...he then looks at Ed and intoduces himself.
"People call me RavenThorne....friends call me Raven...the choice is
yours."
With that, he begins to blow smoke rings.
================================================================================
Note 3.496 The Towne Pub 496 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "Great solution, wrong problem" 5 lines 13-OCT-1993 19:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jd keeps wipin' his end of the bar and staring at that God
character, just shaking his head. "Damn! Why'd he havta show up lookin'
like freakin' Ed McMahon. It's enough to make us all atheists."
-jd
================================================================================
Note 3.497 The Towne Pub 497 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "The Light Bringer" 9 lines 13-OCT-1993 19:43
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sceadeau, looking at all the chaos in this bar, decides to walk over to
Ed and raven because they seem the only sane ones in the place.
"Hey, Ed. Gotta light." Sceadeau takes a Malboro out of its pack
and puts it in his mouth.
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.498 The Towne Pub 498 of 554
LEVVAX::DCR3177 "The SmokeDuster hath returned!" 10 lines 13-OCT-1993 21:58
-< here ya go. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As Sceadeau walk up to Ed, and asks that most silly of questions his
Malboro lights up, the flame coming from the small crystal orb, whose
colors become more indistinct. Sceadeau smokes his cigarette for
several seconds before he realizes the flame had not only lit the
Malboro in his hand, but the whole pack, the table, some chairs.......
Quickly Sol's fire department goes into action. In no time, the
fire is extinguished and a faint laugh comes from the crystal orb.
NAH that's impossible, a laughing orb?
Charlemagne
================================================================================
Note 3.499 The Towne Pub 499 of 554
LEVVAX::TPW4968 "TWINK!" 9 lines 13-OCT-1993 22:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twink beats Etrigan at ping-pong many times over until eventually
Twink gets bored.
"How did I get from sitting in a chair to being on the floor?"
Twink asks Etrigan. "Just wondering."
Etrigan demands a rematch. Twink beats him again, sitting down and
using his shoe as a paddle in his weak hand.
TWINK!
================================================================================
Note 3.500 The Towne Pub 500 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "ETRigan" 9 lines 13-OCT-1993 22:54
-< Shyaa, right >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Etrigan suddenly realizes that when he sobered Twink up, He
inadvertaintly changed him into Mr. Beaudin, the god of ping-pong. He
makes a few motions and Twink changes back to his normal self, who
begins to win about half the games, as it should be.
Etrigan shakes his head. That shouldn't have happened. Must have
been yet another cosmic reverbration (sp?) from the enigma quadrant.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.501 The Towne Pub 501 of 554
LEVVAX::ENB1783 "The Smoking Philosopher" 10 lines 13-OCT-1993 23:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With a flip of the head and a twist of the back incongruent to Ed's
philosophical demeanor, he turns to Raven and asks,"Did you ever notice
they always give you more papers than the tobacco warrants?" While
waiting for the reply, Ed pens another thought in his book of masterful
philosophic stuff. He simultaneously hopes that he can con someone
nearby into getting him a drink without him rising. Glancing up at
Raven he then pulls on the cigarette until those nearhim can hear the
tip crackle.
================================================================================
Note 3.502 The Towne Pub 502 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 6 lines 13-OCT-1993 23:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yes, but what does it matter? They'll all get smoked
eventually.." Raven then pulls out two shot glasses and a bottle of
Jack Daniels from the folds of his jacket. "Care for a drink?" he
asks, and smiles, pouring himself a shot and downing it in a single
motion. "It's on me." He then proceeds to roll another cigarette.
================================================================================
Note 3.503 The Towne Pub 503 of 554
LEVVAX::ENB1783 "The Smoking Philosopher" 9 lines 14-OCT-1993 14:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ed glances up at Raven's choice of beverage and tobacco. He
realizes he has at last found a home. He drinks the shot with the
fervor of a dervish. Then he reaches into his leather pouch and
produces a large muffin. Quoting Frank Zappa he says, "Some people
prefer cupcakes. I for one care less for them."
Ed looks about the bar in the hopes he can find more people to eat
and drink with him. Then he returns the muffin to the pouch and
produces an industrial size bottl of Amaretto. Turning to Raven he
says, "If we can find someone with sloe gin, its alabama slammer time."
================================================================================
Note 3.504 The Towne Pub 504 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Why am I here?" 26 lines 14-OCT-1993 14:37
-< No, Bud light. >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While watching the commontion in the bar, God suddenly had a
craving for a smoke. Sticking his hand into his voluminous robes, he
produced a mighty Cuban cigar. Deftly trimming off the end with a
cutter he produced from nowhere, he fumbled in his robe for his
lighter.
Suddenly the Earth began to tremble. The bottles and glasses
behind the bar started to shake voilently. The lightls flickered off
and then back on again. The floor jolted, and a tremendous cracking
noise blated the inside of the bar. A thin seam of dull red light
glowed on the floor of the bar, widening slowly to the point where it
could have swallowed up a man.
A massive jet of pure red flames shot through the rift. A searing
blast of heat hit the bar's patrons.
Shrugging, God held his cigar behind him in the flame, then placed
the lit Cuban in his mouth.
The flame disappeared as quickly as it had come, shooting back into
the floor. The floor sealed itself, and the temperature of the bar
quickly fell back to it's norm.
God leaned back in his seat ( a neat trick considering he was on a
barstool ) and blew a giant smoke ring into the air. Swiveling around,
he look at Satan, who was grinning stupidly to himself on the next
stool over.
"You could have just let me find my lighter," God said.
Satan just shrugged and motioned for another Killians.
================================================================================
Note 3.505 The Towne Pub 505 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 5 lines 14-OCT-1993 14:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Banjo claps. He runs up to Satan and begs to hear all about
hell.
Little Banjo
================================================================================
Note 3.506 The Towne Pub 506 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Why am I here?" 6 lines 14-OCT-1993 17:01
-< God Speaks... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God blew another puff of smoke; this one forming into an intricate
flying dragon.
"Christ," he said. "Don't get him started..."
================================================================================
Note 3.507 The Towne Pub 507 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Lews Therin Kinslayer" 6 lines 14-OCT-1993 17:28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christ comes through the door, crying and holding his teddy bear.
"I wanna stay up later daddy! WHHHHHAAAAAAAA!"
God grumbles and drags his whiny brat back to his room.
Satan is rolloing on the florr laughing.
Tas
================================================================================
Note 3.508 The Towne Pub 508 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 6 lines 14-OCT-1993 17:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Raven turns to watch this whole scenario, gazes incredulously at his
bottle, shrugs, and pours aot another shot. "oh well, I can't be
finnished...I'm still conscious..."
RavenThorne
================================================================================
Note 3.509 The Towne Pub 509 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 4 lines 15-OCT-1993 18:33
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Banjo scratches his butt and drinks some Kool-Aid.
Little Banjo
================================================================================
Note 3.510 The Towne Pub 510 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 5 lines 15-OCT-1993 19:17
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Raven looks over to Ed, who is still looking for someone with sloe gin,
and asks, "Why DOES God look like Ed McMahhan, anyway?"
RT
================================================================================
Note 3.511 The Towne Pub 511 of 554
LEVVAX::JDD9642 "Great solution, wrong problem" 9 lines 15-OCT-1993 21:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jd looks over to Little Banjo and shouts "Hey! Half pin- I mean
Hafling - how 'bout playin' us something up-tempo here?" He thinks to
himself that Spiffy's about three weeks late and ponders what the
future holds for this place. "Hmmm...how about "The Towne Coffeehouse?
That's it - a few blacklights, couple of glow-in-the-dark posters done
in real bad taste. The possibilities are crazy. Maybe we could even get
god an' Satan to do a duet..."
jd
================================================================================
Note 3.512 The Towne Pub 512 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 44 lines 15-OCT-1993 21:52
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Banjo brightens noticably.
"Up tempo is my specialty!"
The lights go down, and a spotlight slowly intensifies on
Little Banjo's position. He throws his head back and strums on his
6-string Electric Banjo. The sound flies like a screaming bird.
And he explodes into a blasphemous Symphony.
"Little Banjo welcomes you
So come and see the show...
Hear twangs and wangs and rockin' too,
Until your eardrums blow!"
The 10-foot speakers shake the Bar with a 4 on the Rictor Scale.
"No more boring Killeans,
We've had enough of that.
Let's jam with Satan and with God
'Cause they know where it's at!"
"Do the Little Banjo, the Little Banjo
Hear the wicked tunes that you've come to know,
Do the Little Banjo, the Little Banjo,
More and more and more and more and OWWWWWW!"
Flames explode all over the stage, and Spiffy Ninja rocks forward
in a blaze of electric fury as his fingers slide across the strings of
his Elvis Presley Original. The crowd cheers, and the women swoon as
Spiffy rips off his shirt to reveal a tatoo of a Gold Dragon printed
right on his chest. "Ogowaaaaaaaa!" shouts Spiffy into the
Michrophone.
Spiffy and Little Banjo slam down on their guitar and Banjo
as the crowd falls into step.
"Let there be light!" shouts God, and with a brilliant flash, the
dancefloor is swathed in a spectacular display of multi-colored lights.
"They're just something else," says Sonja to a devoted fan.
The Banjo Band!
================================================================================
Note 3.513 The Towne Pub 513 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 2 lines 15-OCT-1993 22:51
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Wow." Raven says.
================================================================================
Note 3.514 The Towne Pub 514 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Why am I here?" 8 lines 16-OCT-1993 14:30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God (who doesn't, by the way, look like Ed McMahon) whips out a
blue bandana from within his robes and deftly ties it around his head.
Chugging down the last of his Killian's, he leaps onto the table with
Little Banjo and Spiffy Ninja. There is a bright flash of light, and a
beautiful silver saxaphone appears in his hands. (What else would God
play? A harp?) He begins to jam with the band.
================================================================================
Note 3.515 The Towne Pub 515 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "The Light Bringer" 15 lines 16-OCT-1993 18:13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sceadeau smokes his cigarette and taps his foot. His look changes.
He is now wearing dark shaded, black clothes and and a black trench
coat. His head lulls back while feeling the wonderful Blues music
coming from God's Sax. He reaches into his trench and pulls out sloe
gin and lemon juice. He mixes a sloe giz fizz and leaves it at God's
feet. Ed hails him to come sit with them.
"Yes, Ed?" I ask, coolly
"How about passin' along a lit bit of that sloe gin?"
"This?" I ask. "Certainly. It is meant to be shared." Sceadeau
hands Ed a bottle of Sloe Gin.
"Hey Raven, can you do that bird trick again, that was cool cat."
-- sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.516 The Towne Pub 516 of 554
LEVVAX::JGM7683 3 lines 16-OCT-1993 20:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLD, bored out of his mind, opens a portal and walks out.
~
================================================================================
Note 3.517 The Towne Pub 517 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "The Light Bringer" 7 lines 16-OCT-1993 21:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The room brightens considerably considering the cloud that
prevented anything _interesting_ from happening left with its owner.
The entire bar threw a gigantic party, in celebration.
-- sceadau
================================================================================
Note 3.518 The Towne Pub 518 of 554
LEVVAX::CAS9140 "Pookie's Prime Henchman" 1 line 16-OCT-1993 22:01
-< ever heard that before? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and there was great rejoicing...yaaaay
================================================================================
Note 3.519 The Towne Pub 519 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Why am I here?" 19 lines 17-OCT-1993 11:09
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God peered down at the sloe gin fizz fizzing merrily near his right
foot. He looked puzzled for a moment, then his face brightened.
A section of his robe split open and a hand emerged. The hand was
attached to a third arm which poked its way out and slithered down to
grasp the drink.
Meanwhile, a second mouth had appeared on the side of God's head in
place of his ear. Raising the drink to his lips he gulped it down.
"Ahh..." he said, tossing the glas into a nearby fireplace which
had just appeared. "Not bad. But you should have used this."
The new arm fumbled around inside the voluminous robes and produced
a bottle of clear liquid, which was passed to Scadeau.
He reached up and took it, turning it in his hands to read the
label.
"Pfast Gin" it read in bold letters. Grinning at God, he sat down
and began to mix up another round of ghin fizzes.
Their duties complete, the mouth and arm disappeared, leaving God
jamming on his sax.
================================================================================
Note 3.520 The Towne Pub 520 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "We are the knights who say NI!" 10 lines 17-OCT-1993 20:27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, Etrigan has put on a tech crew jacket, and is madly trying
to keep everyone balanced and prevent feedback as more and more people
grab instruments and begin to play.
"Y'know, God may be playing the sax, but it must be the Devil
himself who invents all this equipment. Who needs all these cables?"
Turning to the lighting board, Etrigan focuses a spot on the
principal artists, and floods the stage with light. The bar starts to
shake with the power of 8-2 meter "Helldriver" subs.
-ETRigan-
================================================================================
Note 3.521 The Towne Pub 521 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "They aren't THAT perky!" 8 lines 18-OCT-1993 00:19
-< sorry kids, had to do it... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz requests a slow tune and pulls open a curtain on one of the
windows. As the light of the moon filters in, Liz asks Satan to dance.
He accepts, and Liz dances with the devil in the pale moonlight.
Liz
================================================================================
Note 3.522 The Towne Pub 522 of 554
LEVVAX::MSA7064 "Shadow Rogue" 6 lines 18-OCT-1993 05:12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sceadeau watches approvingly, smiling at himself for not even
thinking about it.
-- Sceadeau
================================================================================
Note 3.523 The Towne Pub 523 of 554
LEVVAX::CJW3890 "Lews Therin Kinslayer" 3 lines 18-OCT-1993 08:53
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Joker steps out of the shadows and shoots Sceadeau.
"I have the monopoly on grins here, good buddy." The he
disappears.
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Note 3.524 The Towne Pub 524 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "They aren't THAT perky!" 8 lines 18-OCT-1993 11:32
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Liz lambadas with Satan as God plays "Jessica's Theme" from "Who Framed
Roger Rabbit?".
Liz
Satan
God
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Note 3.525 The Towne Pub 525 of 554
LEVVAX::TLR8799 "Whaddya mean, Doc? I'm not insane?" 7 lines 18-OCT-1993 13:40
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The police are baffled by The Joker's mysterious actions that led to
the shooting....The police spokesperson commented that The Joker has
been known to have extreme mood swings and tend to disapear for days.
Soon, the media is spreading the words like, "Why did The Joker shoot?"
or "If The Joker has been framed, WHO FRAMED THE JOKER?"
The Joker
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Note 3.526 The Towne Pub 526 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 15 lines 19-OCT-1993 14:07
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Little Banjo rocks it down. Spiffy strums a' plenty. God, the
Sax-God, really strings out those notes.
Ash-Sol wanders to the snack-table where the Cheez-Its are. He
examines one, then watches as a patron swallows one. He follows her
lead and tries a cheez-puff.
"If the Joker has been framed," he says, "WHO FRAMED THE JOKER?"
A new guy walks in, tapping the ground with a stick. The man is
very old, and doesn't appear to be a practiced walker. "Hi," he says,
"I'm Grandpa."
Grandpa
Ash-Sol
the rest
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Note 3.527 The Towne Pub 527 of 554
LEVVAX::ENB1783 "The Smoking Philosopher" 12 lines 19-OCT-1993 14:31
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Ed turns to Raven, and speaks, "The reason God looks like Ed
McMahon is quite simple actually. God can be your side kick in
troubled times, just like Ed McMahon was to Johnny Carson. God
searches the cosmos for those special, talented individuals to bless,
like Ed McMahon on Star Search. And God can protect you from injury
and distress, just like Ed McMahon on the Veterans Life Insurance
commercials."
"Of course, he may just get off looking like that. Remember the
Lord moves in Mysterious ways."
Ed drags deep on his smoke and proceeds to mix an Alabama Slammer,
garanteed to cause irreparable brain damage when drak with speed and
dexterity.
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Note 3.528 The Towne Pub 528 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 8 lines 19-OCT-1993 14:47
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"Oh, I see..." Raven smiles to himself, "And here I thought I was
geting a buzz on...well, he sure can play, tho." Raven takes another
pull on his bottle and places an extremely huge glass in front of Ed.
"Would ya mind mixin' me one of those? I'm a might thirsty."
Ed looks at the 5 gal. glass and raises an eyebrow.
RavenThorne
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Note 3.529 The Towne Pub 529 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 5 lines 19-OCT-1993 14:52
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Sol realizes that he always -did- picture God as looking something
like Ed McMayhen
Sol
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Note 3.530 The Towne Pub 530 of 554
LEVVAX::GAK4178 "Just need a little luv..." 3 lines 19-OCT-1993 14:57
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Gerrit pulls himself off the floor and sulks out of the bar...
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Note 3.531 The Towne Pub 531 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Dancing is cool" 5 lines 19-OCT-1993 19:12
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God pauses in his saxing for a moment to mail a stack of
Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes entry forms.
"You may already have won $10,000,000," God said, chuckling.
================================================================================
Note 3.532 The Towne Pub 532 of 554
LEVVAX::ENB1783 "The Smoking Philosopher" 18 lines 19-OCT-1993 19:51
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Ed forces his eyebrow back into a normal position and starts to mix
the largest Alabama Slammer since Babe Ruth. "Christ," he mumbles, "I
thought I was the only one with this much to forget." He then hands
the drink to Raven and begins to drink the pitiful remainder of the
bourbon from the bottle.
The he again speaks. "You know, the middle of last week I was
dumped by someone I thought I truly could love. It hurt like hell.
But now, with the aide of my dear souther friend, Mr. Daniels here, I
can now honestly say that I feel much, much better. You see, being
inebriated to the point of running around and asking people questions
that you wouldn't ask your best friend sober has a very therapeutic
effect.
But ah well, at least I've met some one new to hold."
The shadow of the first grin to cross his face in days digs itself
in and prepares to fight off his melancholy. Passing Raven a fresh
cigarette, then lighting one himself, he begins looking in his bag to
find what new trick he must draw forth.
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Note 3.533 The Towne Pub 533 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 12 lines 19-OCT-1993 21:51
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Downing a third of the glass, Raven looks over at Ed.
"I've left my band, my friends, and my girl is seeing another guy.
Four people in my (very small) hometown were gunned down, and although
I didn't know them, I knew their friends. I have no money...which
holds true for just about everyone here...I am forced to work for
minimum wage at Everything's $1.00..."
"Other than that, I'm fine."
Raven lights the newly offered cigarette and thanks Ed. He then
pulls out another bottle of JD, and hands it to Ed. "I noticed you
were a little low...willpower has its privilages."
He then smiles and waits to see what Ed is about to do.
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Note 3.534 The Towne Pub 534 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "Dancing is cool" 4 lines 20-OCT-1993 01:43
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God tosses one of the sweepstakes entries over to the table where
the two men sit.
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Note 3.535 The Towne Pub 535 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Ed McMahon IS God!!!!" 7 lines 20-OCT-1993 19:38
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Liz and Satan make paper airplanes out of the sweepstakes forms and fly
them around the pub.
Liz
Satan
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Note 3.536 The Towne Pub 536 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 47 lines 20-OCT-1993 21:07
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Spiffy Ninja and Little Banjo finish up their Death-Metal Melody,
slamming noise out of their instruments in a big finale - then all is
quiet, and the Halfling plucks some strings on his instrument and sings
simply,
"'Cuz I am Little Ban-jo!"
And the Bar rises to their feet, clapping.
Little Banjo and Spiffy Ninja mingle in the crowd as God does a
Solo Piece.
Spiffy retrieves Sonja from a bar-table, taking her hand and
leading her to the dance-floor.
She whispers something in his ear, and Spiffy whispers something
back, and she whispers, and he whispers, and he lowers her back on his
arm, allowing her to execute a "dip" to the rhythm of God's Saxaphone.
Then, without letting her go, he dips down after her with his amazing
Ninja Balance, and kisses her.
Little Banjo wanders over to Grampa and sits on his lap. "So who
the hell are you, anyway?"
"I'm Grampa," he says.
"Yeah, yeah, I know -that-! WHO'S Grandpa?"
"I'm the VAXGrandpa. I'm everybody's Grampa."
"Yeah, pull the other one," says Little Banjo.
The old man smiles with his eyes. "Everyone needs a Grandpa
sometimes. We can't all be with our own Grandpas all the time. But
I'm always here for you, Little Banjo, and for anyone that needs me. I
care about all of ya, and there's more to life than parties and work
and the corporate ladder. When you get to be my age, you know about
the things that really matter. I'm here to share that."
Little Banjo considers his own grandparents. He looks at Grampa
with a brief moment of wonder, then shakes it off.
"Look, Gramps, I gotta go... stuff to do..."
Grampa smiles. "Youngsters - always doing something. Before you
go, Little Banjo, I've got a little something for you."
Little Banjo stops mid-stride. He's curious, and goes over.
"Here's a dollar. Go spend it on something you like."
Little Banjo takes the dollar - not a lot of money nowadays, but
still - he just looks at it for a while, and puts it carefully in his
pocket. Then, quietly, under his breath, he whispers, "Thanks,
Grampa."
And Grampa smiles, leaning back in his rocking chair.
Grampa
Little Banjo
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Note 3.537 The Towne Pub 537 of 554
LEVVAX::ETR0370 "We are the knights who say NI!" 6 lines 21-OCT-1993 01:16
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Finally getting tired of trying to keep up with the changing
vocalists and instruments, Etrigan casts a spell on the EQ, so that
there will never be feedback in the pub. His job done for a while,
Etrigan wanders over to Gramps, and offers to buy him a drink.
-ETRigan-
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Note 3.538 The Towne Pub 538 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 12 lines 21-OCT-1993 01:50
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Noticing the kind gesture of Grandpa, Raven smiles. He remebers
his own Grandfather...far away from here...another time, another place
perhaps. He then looks back to Ed.
"Did I also mention, back in my extremly small hometown, four
people were shot--two of them killed? Nothing like this has happened
like that there in a long time...kinda sad to see that kinda thing
happen. Makes one wonder how much worse this world is gonna get before
it gets any better. IF it gets better."
Raven sighs and looks at the bottom of his glass.
RavenThorne
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Note 3.539 The Towne Pub 539 of 554
LEVVAX::GKB3790 "I am the Pumpkin King!" 39 lines 21-OCT-1993 20:09
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God sprouts another mouth so that he can sing along with his sax
solo.
"When you sit in church,
at your pew
you pray to me
and I listen to you.
But did you know
that the money
in the collection plate
gets sent to me
so I can buy V-8?
Yes I am God
My job is really swell
and if you don't like it
you can go to hell.
(Short sax solo)
I sit in my Lazy Boy
Eating ice cream.
I snap my fingers
and I make people dream.
I get to watch
Ren and Stimpy
On a giant TV
I am so perfect
That I don't have to pee.
Let me tell you boy
That this is the life
If only I could find
myself a good wife.
(Dramatic sax finish)
God bows humbly. Then a mike appears and he goes into his stand
up comedy routine.
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Note 3.540 The Towne Pub 540 of 554
LEVVAX::ENB1783 "The Smoking Philosopher" 10 lines 21-OCT-1993 21:04
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Ed turns to Raven. He asks," If it isn't to painful, would you
mind telling me the story of the gunnings? Not for the morbidity of
the scenario, but simply as a source of information. You see, I study
human nature. I see it at its best in our philosophy, in our poetry,
in our literature. But rarely, very rarely, do I get to see it at the
depths of degeneracy that is evidenced in violence. So please, tell me
your tale."
Ed looks up expectantly, and then takes a large pull from the
bottle given to him. Then he grunts a thanks, and continues to wait.
================================================================================
Note 3.541 The Towne Pub 541 of 554
LEVVAX::RHP7572 "Raven- Reluctant Messiah" 69 lines 22-OCT-1993 00:20
-< why >-
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Raven lights up a cigarette.
"Well, I come from a small town. Nothing happens there, I mean, we
have a McDonalds...that's it. We also have a small arcade, if you'd
call it that, and a bar. Nothing else except suburban housing and an
occasional carnival. Pretty boring place. Until a couple of years
ago. It seems as if everything either started happening at once, or I
finnally grew up and noticed..."
"Anyway, there was this kid who transfered to our school. He
seemed cool and all, but by the end of the year he had 8 assault
charges, 5 harrassment charges, and 3 charges of rape aginst him. I'm
sure that some of the girls were just bandwagoning.....anyway, that
seemed to be the begining of the end."
"Along with him came the drug trade in our town. It was always
there, but hidden, known only to those like myself, who keep to the
shadows...he didn't bring it, he announced it. That is what I mean to
say..."
"after that trial, everyone went 'sexual harrasssment' crazy...the
school councelors loved it, and the staff was suddenly serious and
millitant. That's when the students started taking things into their
own hands...nothing ultraviolent, just basically talking tough...etc..
"Well, eventually, cliques turned into gangs, and I realized that
seventh graders had started carrying knives...what the %^&3...my
hometown was maybe 8 miles by 50 sqare miles...pretty small...nothing
to be scared of there...but they carried weapons anyway" Raven laughs,
"I still remember the day one of the kids pulled a knife on me...I
laughed in his face and told him he'd 'better use it quick', cuz he
only had 'one chance'. My friends and I aren't the violent type, and
we got along with all of the cliques, but this had taken all of us off
guard. Anyway, before he could even move, I had grabbed the knife and
closed it, telling him, 'If you ever pull a knife on someone, be sure
to know what you're doing...the next time could be your last man.' He
just scurried away. "
"But...is this connected to the shotings?" Ed asked.
"Well, all of the details are hazy, but I know it is. These kids
started following my friends and I into Boston. We'd go in to hand out
in Harvard Square, play a few songs, and give all the money we made to
some other musician...we weren't there for the money, just to
play....anyway, the kids started venturing into the projects...and most
of them got themselves in over their heads with the drug scene. They
didn't practice moderation, and they didn't use their heads...they
trusted the wrong people."
"So, this is all drug related?"
"I think so. The facts I've heard are these....1) Three kids were
in a car when 2) a man at the side of the road shot into the car 3)
one was shot in the face (lived) one was shot in the chest (died) and
the third was shot in the leg 4) the 'assailant' fled into the woods
5) two days later, he shot his girlfriend 6) the three kids in the car
were from Boston....one of the projects...can't remember off of the top
of my head."
Raven shifts in his chair and gazes off into space. "This is how I
see it happening... The shooter calls the three guys for drugs. They
show, he's broke, so he figures he'll just kill them and take the drugs
so he can sell to pay off debt or something....it doesn't end up how
he'd like, so he hides out. He goes to his girlfriend to ask for help,
and she says she's gonna turn him in...for the best and all...so he
kills her and takes off."
Ed thinks for a moment. "Did you know any of them?"
"I'm not sure. I called home and they wouldn't tell me the names.
I'm just glad I know my closest friends are alright. I think they were
friends of someone I know though....and this kinda thing happens to her
all the time. Her best friend committed suicide last year. "
Raven sighs. "So Ed, any ideas on why the world is getting so
f**ked up? Has it always been this way, or IS it getting worse? I'd
really like to know, and I'll tell you why afterwards..."
Raven crushes his cigarette out in the ashtray and downs a couple
of shots to kep his buzz going...
RavenThorne
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Note 3.542 The Towne Pub 542 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Ever Waltz with the Wind?" 12 lines 22-OCT-1993 16:02
-< when all is gloomy... DANCE! >-
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Liz goes over and sits next to Grandpa.
"Hey there." She smiles shyly. She suddenly realizes that she had
never known either of her grandfathers...one died before she was born,
the other a couple months after she was born. Before the tears can
come, she perks up and smiles, then bounces off and dances with the
devil some more.
Liz
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Note 3.543 The Towne Pub 543 of 554
LEVVAX::EJC7658 "Ever Waltz with the Wind?" 28 lines 23-OCT-1993 20:44
-< Between the dark and the light you will find me >-
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Satan looks down at Liz with a smile.
"So, my dear, have you decided?"
Liz glances up at Satan, then over at God, who peers at her hopefully
over his sax. It is an odd decision, but one we all make sooner or
later in life.
_the dark or the light...which path to choose_ she ponders, twisting a
piece of her hair between her fingers. At last, she realizes what was
in her all along.
"I choose both...and neither." Satan and God look at her... and smile.
"Good choice," Satan says confidingly. God nods, blasting a cool blues
riff out of the sax. "Not many remember that option."
A shadowy form enters the bar and goes up to Liz. He beckons with one
hand. Liz sighs and steps away from the two immortals.
"Farewell, all... I have journeys to take... May we meet again......."
Liz says, a single tear rolling down her cheek. With that, she joins
hands with the shadow and slowly fades away into a shadow herself. The
shadowy forms glide out of the bar and into the twilight.
Liz
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Note 3.544 The Towne Pub 544 of 554
LEVVAX::ABL4290 "The one, the Prime." 15 lines 23-OCT-1993 21:38
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"Niether," muses Sol from the bar... "imagine that." Shrugging and
polishing glasses, he waves a farewell that she will not see.
Sol sees his reflection in a glass - it is Dionelos. -not a bad
option, eh?- says the sol reflection in his mind, - maybe we can be
pals after all. -
"Sorry, bud," says Sol to the image, "You have to see the world in
Light -and- Darkness before you can see the grey."
-Well, if there's no black, and therefore no grey, then where'd she
go, smart guy?-
"Different kind of light," decides Sol. And he puts the glass up
on the shelf again.
Sol
============================================